


The Present is a Matter of Perspective

by Bookaholic27



Series: Where We’re Going, We Don’t Need Stakes [1]
Category: Vampire Academy & Related Fandoms, Vampire Academy Series - Richelle Mead
Genre: Adrian is a little shit, Dimitri & Adrian, Dimitri is extremely stressed, Dimitri knows Rose is from the future, F/M, Future Adrian, Future Dimitri, Future Rose perspective, Future Sydney Sage, Mentions of Declan Ivashkov, Past Adrian, Past Dimitri, Past Dimitri Perspective, Past Lissa, Past Rose, Potential Past Dimitri/Tasha, Rose is a Badass, Secret Identity, Some graphic Strigoi Dimitri memories, Time Travel, Trying not to change the future, failing, future Rose, like really really hard, magical deus ex machina
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-02
Updated: 2020-01-06
Packaged: 2020-10-05 17:57:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 48,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20492915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bookaholic27/pseuds/Bookaholic27
Summary: Years down the line, Rose finds that Victor's death has more consequences than anyone would have thought. Robert is out for revenge and he plans to use time travel to achieve it. With the life she's built for herself and her loved ones at risk, Rose must follow Robert back in time to stop him before he ruins everything. Set during Frostbite.





	1. Chapter 1

CHAPTER ONE - DIMITRI 

When Guardian Petrov told me about the attack, I almost didn’t want to believe her.

“The situation is delicate. The students who were involved are being debriefed right now,” she said, leading me down one of St. Vladimir’s many grandiose hallways. Though the general layout of the campus resembled something like a standard US university, the academy boasted much of the typical gothic architecture found in Moroi and dhampir schools across the globe. St. Basil’s, my former academy, was nearly identical in many ways. 

Alberta was tense, and rightly so. The Moroi world was already on high alert after the recent Badica attack. Parents were clamoring for us to reassure them of their children’s safety during the holiday season. It might not have been a Strigoi threat in this case, but this academy attack could not have happened at a worse time.

I had been called in from patrol and so far, I’d only been given the most essential information. Two students were attacked during their lunch period by an unknown assailant. He was taken down by a guardian but somehow managed to escape, leaving the guardian unconscious. The strangest part of the whole encounter seemed to be that the attacker was…a Moroi.

“And you said he was an older man?” I asked. “How old exactly?”

“Seventies? Eighties?” Alberta shrugged, “No one is entirely sure. Witnesses have had some trouble recalling any defining features. If I didn’t know any better…” She hesitated, needing a moment to gather her thoughts. I let her and patiently followed as she took the sharp turn that would lead us to the hospital wing. She took a breath and spoke confidently, “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say the entire thing reeks of compulsion.”

I shook my head, surprised. Compulsion was a specialized form of magic that could technically be performed by all vampires - Moroi or Strigoi. Done correctly, it would allow someone to enforce their will over another’s. It was considered highly taboo and most Moroi couldn’t practice it well anyway. One of the exceptions to this rule was actually my charge, Vasilisa Dragomir who wielded the mysterious element of Spirit. Not much was known about it, and even less was known about the possibility that other Spirit users could be out there. Let alone at the school. And even if there were…

“It was a full cafeteria. No one man could compel that many people at once.”

“You might be right,” she said, nodding in thanks as I held the waiting room door open for her. It was a place I was growing ever more familiar with by the day, with the amount of times that Rose seemed to end up here…I quickly quenched the thought as Alberta continued.

“But if I’m being honest, the logistics of the attack aren’t exactly why we’re here.” She bit her bottom lip and looked away from me. It was a little strange. Like most guardians, Alberta excelled at maintaining a stoic front. She never struck me as the type to be easily flustered.

“I’d...like you to speak with Rose.”

I raised an eyebrow as I felt the first sparks of true worry since learning of the confrontation.

“Rose was there?” I asked.

I’d already been assured that no students were injured, but now I couldn’t help but wonder how accurate that had been. There was also a small amount of guilt. I’d been shamelessly avoiding her for the past day or so, too cowardly to deal with the aftermath of our kiss. I knew I needed to man up and talk to her about it. I had to tell her how inappropriate it was and that it could never happen again. The problem was, a powerful part of me did want it to happen again. Rose had accused me of being just like her, always fighting for control. Maybe she wasn’t that far off. One thing was for sure; she knew how to read me far too well. The way she could get under my skin...it was making it nearly impossible to even try to fight what was between us, let alone to consider Tasha’s offer. 

Alberta went on, unbeknownst to my thoughts. “Yes, but it’s not what you’re thinking. Novice Hathaway’s probably almost finished giving her statement with the other students. She’ll be sent back to class soon.”

Before I could ask any more questions, Dr. Olendzki quickly approached us. “Oh good, you’re here,” she greeted. “She’s asleep again.”

Alberta nodded curtly, all business. “Did she say anything else?”

Dr. Olendzki shook her head. “Guardian Alto is with her now. She seemed like she was going to stick to the same story. Physically, she’s fine though. A little drained, but she’ll be good to go once you figure out what to do about her.”

I looked between the two women, perplexed. “Who?”

Wordlessly, Alberta gestured for me to follow her and the doctor into one of the examination rooms. Upon entering, I froze.

True to the doctor’s word, Alto stood guard over a feminine figure in the hospital bed. The woman looked like she must’ve been in her late twenties or early thirties. She was handcuffed to the bed and had the tanned skin and toned muscles of a well-trained dhampir. But what was more shocking, what really held my attention, was that this woman was practically the spitting image of Rose Hathaway.

My mind quickly tried to rationalize it out. This couldn’t be Rose. Alberta just said that Rose was in debriefing. Besides, the woman before me may have been beautiful (as unflattering as the hospital gown was, I could still tell that), but she was certainly not a student. And yet… I’d met Rose’s mother before and while the two did look alike, this woman could’ve given Janine Hathaway more than just a run for her money. She had to be some kind of close relative, considering the resemblance.

“We thought it best to show you first. We weren’t entirely sure you’d believe us.”

“Show me what, exactly?” I asked Alberta carefully, trying to maintain some semblance of patience.

Alberta cast an uneasy glance at the sleeping woman. Finally, it was Stan who spoke up, speaking lowly so as to not disturb the patient. He explained how he’d actually been on duty during the attack. How the woman on the bed was the one who stopped the assailant. No one else could help because...

“It was like I couldn’t move. None of the other guardians could either. And whatever he was trying to do to Vasilisa and Rose…”

My eyes widened in alarm. “The princess was there too?”

I probably should’ve expected it. Wherever Rose was, Vasilisa was usually never far behind. Still, I couldn’t help but feel a little irked that I hadn’t been notified immediately about both of their presences in the attack. Vasilisa was my charge and Rose was my student. I should’ve been the first to know. A small voice in my head, one which sounded disturbingly like Rose, told me that I shouldn’t have had to wait for anyone to tell me anything. I should have been there. Instead, I’d been off hiding at the edge of campus, having taken the furthest shift from Rose that I could find.

Stan nodded, “Yes. She wasn’t directly attacked, but we think she was the target. Hathaway probably just got in the way. The assailant...he looked at her and she started screaming.”

“‘Attacked’ is actually a bit of a strong word,” Dr. Olendzki piped in from the corner where she had begun checking some of the monitors. “No one involved was injured at all. She got the brunt of it. Whatever it was.” She motioned to the woman in the bed.

I took it all in silently. A million questions ran through my mind. Was Rose okay? And who was this mysterious savior? The energy in the room was tense, like my colleagues were holding something back. I started putting some of the pieces together.

“Earlier she was awake, wasn’t she? You mentioned that she’d told you some story.”

“Honestly, she didn’t give us much. She wasn’t awake for long. But she said...she said that she’s Rose. From the future. And we found this in her pocket.” Alberta handed me an ID card while I stared dumbly at her, incredulous.

That...was not what I’d expected. I turned to study the sleek card resting in my palm. For the most part, it looked like an average guardian’s ID. On closer inspection however, it had the markings and format of a guardian high up in the chain of command. This belonged to someone important. The picture on the card was fairly simple - a small head shot mirroring that of the woman in front of us. The part I cared about most though was the name to the right of the photo, written in plain blocky letters.

GUARDIAN ROSEMARIE HATHAWAY

Below it, some other information was listed, matching up with some of the things I knew about my Rose. March 21, 1992. Her birthday. 

I looked back and forth between the sleeping woman and the ID, trying to make sense of it all.

“I know it sounds a little crazy,” Alberta remarked.

Stan scoffed. “It’s outlandish. We shouldn’t even be humoring this.”

“Do you have another explanation, Guardian Alto?”

Stan didn’t answer and Alberta turned back to me. “That’s why we need you, Guardian Belikov. You’ve been mentoring Rose for weeks now. Hopefully you’ll have some insight. We’d like you to interrogate her.”

I stared at her in disbelief. I was usually pretty good at controlling my expressions, but even I had limits. “About what?” The attack? Her intentions?

“Well for starters, find out if she’s telling the truth.”


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER TWO - DIMITRI

They left me not long after that. Stan had a class to teach and Alberta had to finalize plans for the upcoming ski trip's security detail.

I'd been told to wait until the woman in the bed (because I couldn't quite think of her as Rose) woke up. I was to find out as much information as I could about the attack and her identity.

Dr. Olendzki was around, mostly dealing with other patients and so for the most part, I had the room to myself. Well, myself and Rose. Maybe-Rose. The Rose Lookalike.

I desperately wished that hours ago, I'd conveniently decided to bring a book with me out on patrol. No such luck. In lieu of much else to do, I sat down in Stan's vacated seat by the woman's bedside and studied her.

It was hard to gauge what her age might actually be. She had to be at least a few years older than me though. If she was who she said she was, that was a strange thought. Regardless, she looked good, if a bit pale. Guardians tended to age very quickly in our line of work. Exposure to the elements and the stress of the job both played a role. Rose actually expressed some worries to me about that very problem in one of our earlier training sessions a few weeks ago. I'd had to hold myself back from telling her just how wrong she was. She was stunning. The way she captivated everyone around her, bringing people into her orbit. She was like the sun, beautiful and incredibly dangerous to look at. That would never change. She'd never wither like she seemed to think. It made me wish she could see herself the way I saw her.

The woman's expression was serene in sleep. Her long dark brown hair was near identical to my Rose's. Maybe even an inch or two longer.

She didn't cut it, a small treacherous part of me thought happily. I had to remind myself that this whole situation was ridiculous. Time travel wasn't real. This woman had to be lying. The ID card could have easily been forged. And yet…I'd seen some pretty impossible things in the past couple of weeks alone. Princess Vasilisa wielding Spirit to heal Christian, Rose's bond. Not to mention, Babushka was a self-proclaimed witch. My life had never exactly been void of the strange or the unexplained.

Before I could ponder things further, the woman stirred. I immediately straightened my posture, alert and ready for anything. She might have been handcuffed, but you could never be too careful.

She blinked groggily up at me, and I got to see firsthand that her eyes were also the same shade as Rose's. She quickly gained her bearings and I watched as her expression shifted from a sort of fond recognition to something guarded and wary.

We simply stared at each other in silence for a few moments. I tried to consider her impartially. First and foremost, I had to make sure she wasn't a threat to the students. But the way she was looking at me...

In an instant, her expression shifted and she gave me a very Rose-like smirk. "How's it going, Comrade?"

And like that, I was sold.

"Hello, Roza."

Her smirk widened.

I leaned forward in my chair. I wasn't entirely sure what convinced me. It was nothing I could logically point to, not really. I supposed the nickname was specific enough. No one outside of the academy would know about it. But it was more than that. There was something about the way she spoke, the way she was carrying herself at that moment - things that seemed so fundamentally Rose.

"So they sent you to play good cop, huh?"

"Who was bad cop?" I asked, amused and already falling into familiar patterns.

"Stan." She thought about that for a moment. "Or maybe Olendzki. All those tests. I swear, she thinks I'm going to keel over and die any moment now. It's been years since I was back here. Never gets old though."

I raised an eyebrow at her not so subtle way of bringing up the time travel. Maybe she wanted to get those looming answers out of the way as much as I did.

I decided to accept the token.

"How is this possible?" I waved my hand in her direction, not needing to clarify.

She shrugged, donning a guardian mask that I didn't think I'd ever seen Rose wear before - old or young. "It's like I told the others. I'm from the future. There's not much more to it."

I nearly rolled my eyes. Maybe she wasn't as willing to talk as I thought. "Okay, but how did you get here? Why are you here?"

She hesitated for a moment, her fingers toying with the edges of her hospital blanket. "Would you believe me if I told you that I'm here to take down a time traveling assassin?"

I didn't speak, waiting for her to continue and clarify...well, all of it. If this went on much longer, I might just be ready to believe anything.

Before long, she broke our little staring contest with a sigh. "Alright, alright. First things first, I'm a little iffy on the date. How much do you know about Spirit right now?"

The question was a little non sequitur, but I answered anyway. "We know that Vasilisa can heal. She can bring people back from the dead like she did with you, but it comes at a terrible cost to her sanity. You...Rose has also mentioned that she's incredibly skilled at compulsion."

She didn't look impressed. "Wow, real early days then. Spirit can do a hell of a lot more than that, trust me. There's this one Spirit user...his name's Robert. Really powerful. He has a pretty big grudge against a few people here at the Academy. You know, in the future. He went back in time and we thought it was to take them out. I was sent back to stop him."

As she spoke, I noticed the same fire in her that I saw all the time in my Rose. That spark that told me she'd give everything she had to fulfill her duty. It was one of the many things that had made me fall in love with her, and seeing it now in this...older version, was doing strange things to my mind. It didn't help that the determination I saw was tempered by some other unnamed emotion. I didn't know why, but it looked a lot like she was guilty.

I tried to push that mystery from my mind and focus on the more concrete insanity she was trying to get me to believe. Time travel claims aside, Moroi were taught from birth that magic should never be used offensively. While I knew people like Tasha who rejected this doctrine, it was very rare. Even if this Robert had similar ideals, from what I'd learned of Spirit, it didn't seem like the most effective element to weaponize.

And on the subject of the time travel…

"How did you come back here?" I asked again, "Is time travel just that common a thing in the future?"

She took a while to answer.

"Spirit. I got here with spirit. Just like Robert," she finally said. I got the feeling that she wasn't being entirely honest, but I let it go.

"Okay. And this Robert...he was the Moroi who attacked your past self and Vasilisa in the cafeteria earlier?" The elderly Moroi, I added internally.

"Yes," she nodded.

"And you stopped him…"

She looked frustrated at that. "I almost had him too. If he didn't look me in the eyes...He used Spirit to immobilize me. I guess he wanted to conserve his energy to escape or things could've been a lot worse." She gestured down to herself in the cot.

"So you still need to find him now," I stated, starting to understand things a little better.

"Yes, and bring him back to my time before he messes with the fabric of the universe. Or whatever. Typical Tuesday," she joked before turning serious again, "More importantly, the reason why I'm here - why I'm even telling you any of this - is that I need to stick around and protect his targets. Hopefully Robert will be lured out or I'll get a lead on his whereabouts, but their safety is priority."

I admired her dedication to Vasilisa. From Stan's description of the attack and the way Rose was acting now, as if this mission was both highly important and perhaps a little personal, I had no doubt in my mind that the Princess was one of the targets she was referring to. Rose would always protect her charge, regardless of what insane hoops she had to jump through. It made me wonder where I was in her time. My future self. Did I stay back to guard the Princess? Was I even still in her life?

I thought back to the kiss in the gym just a few days ago. How I knew it could never happen again. We could never be close like that - or in any way, ever - if we wanted to be good guardians to Vasilisa. My feelings didn't matter. They come first. But right here in front of me was a way to find out if we had. What decisions we had made - will make. Will we spend years circling around each other, tormented by what we couldn't have, constantly wanting more? Maybe someday, things would be easier. It would hurt less to know that nothing could ever come of us being together. Had she moved on? Just the thought sent a pang of something cold and longing through my chest. Had I taken Tasha's offer? Did we ever kiss again?

I looked at Rose's lips briefly before darting my eyes away, hoping she hadn't noticed.

Rose continued to tell me about Robert's targets, untroubled by my thoughts. "I can't protect them well enough by lurking in the shadows and trying to hide from the Guardians as well as time traveling psychopaths."

I forced myself to focus. She looked at me beseechingly. I understood.

"You want me to vouch for you."

"Well, that's why they have you in here, isn't it?"

That was true enough. And I did believe her. Her story was insane and impossible, but I'd already somehow accepted that she truly was Rose from the future. Put together with the rest of her story, it was simply too unbelievable to make up.

"I'll speak to the other guardians. I'm assuming you don't want everyone to know you're here. We might be able to come up with some kind of cover story."

"Great," she said, "So are you going to let me out of these babies or what?"

She jiggled her cuffed hand a little, as if she thought I needed help spotting the offending items.

I shrugged helplessly, "I don't have the key."

"Really?" She groaned.

I was again struck by that same sense of familiarity mixed with otherness that I seemed to be feeling a lot around this older Rose. It reminded me of a question that had been festering in the back of my mind since before she woke up.

Rose was looking down at her cuffs contemplatively, as if she could somehow pick the lock with her short nails.

I found myself blurting out the question before I could stop myself. "How old are you?"

She glanced up at me and smirked. "Come now, Comrade. You should know better than to ask a girl about her age."

I fumbled for a response before she took pity on me.

"Thirty-one," she said.

My mind spun as I did some quick mental calculations. Fourteen years into the future. I had an uncharacteristic urge to burst into a hysterical laugh when I realized another important factoid. Rose was seven years older than me.

Дерьмо.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rose POV next! It'll alternate every two or three chapters.


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER THREE - ROSE

We spoke a little more after that. I answered what questions I could (which weren't much) and tried not let on how anxious I was. All in all, I thought I was pretty successful. I'd learned my poker face from the very best after all.

My husband of ten years looked down at me from his seat next to my cot with a mixture of curiosity and apprehension on his face. It was kind of scary seeing Dimitri so young. Not that he physically looked all that far off from his future self. As a restored Strigoi, Dimitri aged a lot slower than most dhampirs. He still looked a year or two older than me back home, but the age gap between us had been radically diminished.

Still, what was really striking about this Dimitri was just how much lighter he seemed. Free. Unburdened. Now don't get me wrong - he wasn't exactly all smiles. Dimitri always had a sort of brooding god vibe going for him. I knew he already felt guilty about things from his past. His Strigoi kills, Ivan. Still, there was something about pre-Strigoi Dimitri that seemed almost...innocent. It wasn't a word I thought I'd ever associate with him, and it was making this already stressful mission that much more confusing.

Sydney gave me pretty clear instructions when this whole thing started. Find Robert, don't lose the totem, and don't make any major changes to time. Since I'd already botched up the first two rules, I could only hope that my half answers to Dimitri wouldn't be enough to tip the scales. We'd planned for the possibility that I'd have to tell the school guardians at least some of the truth, and I'd memorized all of the do's and don'ts of what I could tell them. I also made sure to carry my guardian badge back in time with me. It was flimsy proof, but it was something and it seemed like the easiest way to get the ball rolling.

There was a problem though. After my ill-fated attempt to apprehend Robert, the school guardians had taken my coat sometime before I'd woken up in the clinic. They might've found the badge after all, but they'd also unwittingly taken away the only link back to my time - a small wooden totem which Sydney and Lissa had imbued with a mixture of Spirit and witch magic. Enough to take one person back in time (and to send them forward again), plus a few other perks. It was packed with two bursts of some kind of amnesia magic. Supposedly, it could alter whatever new memories people made based on my presence here and twist them so that they mirrored what was supposed to happen. The first burst was small. It would only affect one or two people and could be used if someone from the past found out something they shouldn't. The second burst had to be used when I jumped back to the future. In theory, it would erase all traces of my presence in the past, but the magic had limits. It wouldn't work correctly if any significant changes were made to the timeline. Little factoids revealed here and there were fine, but I couldn't allow myself to make any big waves.

The whole thing apparently took an immense amount of power to create and would not be easily replicated. Without it, I felt naked. Like any change I made now could ruin the world - everything I'd built, everything my friends and I had built together. My life. My son.

I clenched my fists in a failed attempt to ease my nerves, ever aware of my cuffed wrist. I wanted to play nice, but I couldn't help but think that if I was just allowed leave this damned clinic on my own, I could get things moving along that much faster. Maybe I'd gotten too used to being in charge. As Captain of the Royal Guard, I pretty much made my own rules. For the most part, I didn't have to answer to anyone (okay, besides Lissa). Trapped like this - with Dimitri as my unwitting Russian jailer - made me feel like I was...well, back in High School.

Fortunately, I didn't have to wait too long. After a few more minutes of mostly mindless conversation (Dimitri seemed like he had something on his mind), Alberta strolled in looking like her usual self - calm, collected, and stern. I hadn't seen her in a few years and as unorthodox as this whole situation was, I welcomed the reunion.

It didn't take long for Dimitri to fill her in on the details, and pretty soon I was set free and allowed to change back into my old clothes. My jacket pockets were depressingly empty, but I knew I had to pick my battles. The totem was probably in some evidence locker with my guardian badge. If I couldn't get it back by the end of the day, I'd figure something out.

Once I was ready, I convinced Alberta and Dimitri to keep the circle of people in-the-know to a minimum. Alberta agreed on the condition that I offer up some more information to the group about the threat. Easier said than done. They made a few calls and then led me to a small conference room set aside for Guardian meetings.

About eight faculty members were already there waiting for us when we arrived. Mostly guardians, with just one Moroi. Kirova and Stan stood out to me in particular, probably because they'd both given me such great impressions back in my academy days.

Entering the room with a swagger I didn't really feel, I noticed another familiar face.

"Mom?" I asked, internally berating myself for not expecting this. I remembered that she'd stayed at the academy about a week or two before we'd left for the ski trip, but based on what Dimitri told me, I'd assumed that I had arrived a lot earlier. I wasn't unhappy to see her exactly. The two of us came a long way over the years in the efforts to mend old wounds. I was more worried about what her presence meant for the sort of problems I might have to deal with in this time. This had to be after the Badica attack. Before Spokane…

Unfortunately, Janine Hathaway had many skills, but mind reading was not one of them. She seemed to notice my discontent, but misinterpreted it as being directed at her - at least if her already wary expression's transformation into a defensive scowl was anything to go by.

Curiously, I noticed that Dimitri looked tense beside me too, as if he thought he might need to break up a fight.

"Rose," she finally said. Alberta might have explained the time travel to her, but she was clearly having trouble believing it. I couldn't blame her, but she looked like she'd swallowed a lemon. And not the good kind which was covered in sugar. "I don't suppose I can hope that this...whatever this is, is a sanctioned mission, can I?"

I nearly gaped at her. Did she actually just say that?

"Of course it's sanctioned," I said, trying to keep my cool. Yes, I'd always been a bit of a troublemaker, but surely she knew me better than that. Then again, my senior year had been the first time since my childhood in which we were in any sort of close contact, so maybe not. "A dangerous spirit user went back in time. Trust me, I'm one of the most qualified people who can deal with that."

My mom scoffed, "It's time travel. I somehow doubt it's a commonly held practice in the Guardian's Council. Guardian Belikov reported that you claim Spirit brought you here. I can only assume that means you had Miss Dragomir assist you."

Well I couldn't exactly tell her that Lissa was basically the highest form of authority that I could get for sanctioning a mission, now could I?

I'd forgotten how much tension there was between the two of us back in the day. I couldn't imagine ever having this sort of relationship with Anton. It felt like I was trying to reason with a life wire.

It was also incredibly hard not to feed the flames just a little. "Right, because I'm sure you know everything there is to know about the Guardian Council fourteen years from now."

"The council's structure has been built upon from generations of tradition. I can hazard a guess."

I was about ready to retort, and maybe give away more than I'd intended, when Dimitri came to the rescue.

"Guardian Hathaway," he said. We both turned to him expectantly. He hesitated before elaborating, "Janine. I believe that Rose is telling the truth. Regardless, she has important information about how we might handle the current threat. I don't need to remind you that students are at risk."

My mom seemed to realize that she, for once, was the one who was making a scene. She sent Dimitri a curt nod and settled into her chair.

"Well said, Guardian Belikov," Alberta began as the rest of us also took our seats. "Now, to begin, I'd like to ask Rose to-"

"This is preposterous," Kirova interrupted, glaring at me. I guessed some things never changed. Alberta didn't exactly look pleased, but there wasn't much she could say against the headmistress of the school.

"Has she given any real evidence that she actually is Hathaway and not some imposter?"

What did she want, a birth certificate? Still, a couple of eyes swiveled her way in agreement and suspicion towards me. This was going to be a long day.

Dimitri turned to face her as well. "My conversation with her yielded several indicators regarding her identity, Headmistress Kirova. I have been mentoring Novice Hathaway for almost three months now. I'm quite confident that she," he nodded in my direction expressionlessly, "is the same person."

Kirova shook her head. "But surely a few months' knowledge of the girl can't be enough to identify some future counterpart. Why has her mother not been called upon?"

My mother, usually so confident, looked a little uneasy at being singled out as a resident Rose-expert. "I have no reason to doubt Guardian Belikov's expertize," she said. Okay, there was definitely something going on with her.

This only seemed to get the others going.

"If she is lying, she's a direct security risk."

"What reason would she even have to come up with all of this?"

Alberta looked like she was getting a headache, but she must've wanted everyone to get it out of their systems now rather than allowing it to fester and create dissent later. It was what I might've done in her place, as long as no one was being too much of an asshole.

Still, I was getting pretty tired of all the circular logic. So I decided to step in.

"Look," I said, using what I called my 'captain's voice.' Loud but firm, it drew the attention of everyone in the room. "If you really want proof, just ask me something you think only I would know. Favorite color? Red. Name of the hamster I nearly got killed back in ninth grade? Henry, I think. Or Harry."

Alberta thought about that for a minute before asking, "How did you and Vasilisa become friends?"

Good choice. Since I was practically raised by the academy, and Alberta through consequence of that, she'd witnessed many of my escapades over the years. She knew any question she asked needed to be personal - something that wouldn't show up in any public records. And all things considered, this particular incident had been a pretty minor. It blended in with all of the other crazy stunts I pulled. Only Alberta would have paid enough attention to notice something had changed that day.

"Easy," I said, "I threw a textbook at Mrs. Carlson. She was trying to get us to spell out our full names."

She nodded, pleased.

"How about the Badica attack?" asked Stan, squinting at me as though it would somehow help him assess my honesty. "Hathaway and Belikov were the first people on the scene, but there were some details that didn't make it into public records."

"Like…" Did they want me to recount the whole thing?

Dimitri seemed to understand and finished Stan's question for him, if a little cautiously. Seeing all of that death so young had been pretty hard on me. It was hard on all of us really - the first of many events that would shake the very foundations of our world as we knew it. I could understand him wanting to be a little careful about the subject matter. "There was a message written in blood on the bathroom mirror. What did it say?"

Oh, that. I thought back… "Poor, Badicas," I quoted, "So few left. One royal family gone. Others to follow."

I noticed some of the less stone-faced guardians shivering at just the mention of those foreboding words, but for the most part, people seemed to buy my story.

Of course, Kirova had to get in her two cents. "Random facts don't prove-"

"Three words, Kirova," I cut in, exasperated. "Varvara's Day. Cats."

She flushed and shut up real fast.

I probably should've been more worried about getting my past self in trouble for my actions during the St. Varvara's Day Scavenger Hunt, but I was willing to bet that Kirova would be much too protective of her own secrets to bother pursuing her suspicions.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Dimitri try to cover up a rare smile. If he hadn't completely believed me before, I knew he would now.

"Well I'm convinced," said Alberta, taking advantage of the pause in conversation. "Now Rose, would you please explain exactly who is targeting my students?"

I braced myself for doling out a bunch of half-truths.

"Like I told Dimitri, his name's Robert. I can't give a last name," I said before anyone asked. There was no way I could risk letting his real identity (and his ties to Victor) get out. This would already be a dangerous enough game. I knew that even in custody, Victor still had contacts at the academy. Him teaming up with his future brother was not an option. I could only hope that this small circle of school faculty would be secure. "He's sixty-two years old. Greying hair, brown eyes, and mentally unstable. He's a wanted criminal in my time. My colleagues and I became aware that he'd gone back in time and we were pretty quick to pursue."

What I didn't tell them was that I had absolutely no clue how he'd done it, or how he'd even had the clarity of mind to come up with this insane plot of his. A few months ago, Robert became active after years of silence. Sending me death threats and amassing a cult of Moroi that believed the children of restored Strigoi like my son, Anton, were evil and twisted. It was all in the efforts to get back at me for what I'd done to Victor, but the time travel was a whole other level.

"Who exactly is he after?" asked Alberta without missing a beat, "We assumed Vasilisa, but…"

"Actually, Lissa's not his main target," I said, not really surprised about the assumption, but also not looking forward to explaining this part. Still, it needed to be done.

"He'd take her out if he had to, but he's really after...me. Past me that is. And a Moroi named Jill Mastrano. Also, um, Dimitri."

My audience looked perplexed. And rightfully so. It would be a nonsensical list to them. A guardian, a novice, and some non-royal. At this point, three nobodies. They didn't know that we were all present when Victor died. He blamed us all. None more than me. If he got his way, he'd kill my younger self and make sure his brother lived. The others were only at risk if this was also some kind of revenge quest, but no one here needed to know that. If I could make Robert out to be some deranged psycho out to get a bunch of random people, I wouldn't need to go into some of the more...sensitive details. Plus, I wasn't willing to risk Dimitri and Jill's lives even if the threat was minor. They were my family. Plus, if Dimitri died before his time, who knew if Strigoi vaccine research would've even gotten started? And without Jill, well, say goodbye to Queen Lissa. No, I'd do whatever it took to protect them. Guardian resources would help with that.

I paid particular attention to Dimitri's reaction. He certainly hadn't seemed to expect that his life would be in danger - at least not in this way - but he took it like a pro, quickly schooling his shocked expression. I doubted anyone else in the room would have even noticed if they didn't know him half as well as I did. Still, several guardians turned to examine him like he was the new special attraction of the day. Which considering well, me, was saying something.

"Can you tell me what he has against those three exactly?" Alberta asked.

"Like I said, he's unstable. He wants to cause chaos and panic. I wish I could tell you more," Lie, "but a lot of it's future information that you just can't know yet. It doesn't matter though. I'll handle Robert. We need to focus on protecting the people he's after."

Stan stopped side-eyeing Dimitri and looked toward me at that. "How can we even hope to protect anyone without knowing what to expect from the aggressor?"

His neighbor, Yuri snorted. "We are still talking about an old man, right?"

"Well in terms of Guardian Belikov, I'd think an old Moroi wouldn't be too much trouble for a trained guardian to handle," my mom spoke up from Alberta's left, her intense gaze trying to pin me down. She'd been quiet for a while now and I'd assumed she was cowed after our earlier spat, but now I wondered if she'd been studying me instead - trying to figure me out. Despite my High School track record with her, the question didn't strike me as challenging exactly. She was fishing for information.

"This guy isn't exactly an ordinary Moroi," I explained.

"No, she's right," Dimitri told me firmly, "Any protection we offer should be focused on the students."

Right. Of course he'd be all noble about this. I had no doubt that if I'd just said Jill and him were in danger, he'd be demanding we place all of our efforts into protecting the Moroi girl. With my past self in the mix, he'd be doubly worried.

"It's two other people!" I reasoned, "The academy has lots of guardians. We can spare a few. Just take shifts with other people. Use the buddy system."

"I can handle myself, Rose."

In most cases, that would be right. I knew Dimitri could hold his own against insane odds. He'd done so plenty of time over the years with me by his side. Except…Dimitri was strong, but he wasn't invincible. I knew that firsthand. I remembered lots of sleepless nights and dark shadows under his eyes made from the unseen demons that I couldn't fight with him. Memories of blood and pain that he could never escape. The struggle it took to forgive himself. He only has a few more months left, I thought grimly, before quickly steeling myself. He might have less if I didn't settle this.

"You think you can, but you have no idea what you you're dealing with," I told him, "None if you do. Spirit's a more powerful element than anyone could have imagined. The people who wield it don't just heal. They can read minds, control plants, move things with their minds, cause hallucinations, and then of course there's the compulsion. A strong enough Spirit user could drive you insane or make you decide to take a stroll off a bridge with a damned smile on your face. Please, go ahead and tell me you're all prepared for that."

I looked around at ten tense and disbelieving faces. I guessed finding out that there were people out there with literal superpowers (at least the ones most of them didn't already know about), was a tough pill to swallow, even for vampires. Dimitri wasn't unmoved either, but he took it a different way than I'd intended.

"All the more reason why we should be protecting Roza if she's in danger."

His slip didn't go unnoticed by me. I just hoped that for his sake, everyone else was too distracted by the scary new Spirit info. Wouldn't want him to get nearly arrested for loving me this early in the timeline, now would we?

"I'm not saying we shouldn't. Just that all three of you are at equal risk here."

I thought back to all of the amazing feats of spirit I'd seen over the years. Healings, dream walking, Strigoi restorations. Spirit users could be just as wonderful as they were deadly. But many were just that. For every Lissa, there were plenty of Robert's. Or people like Avery Lazar who used their abilities for their own gain at the expense of others lives. I didn't know how many times we'd come across cases of rogue spirit users abusing their powers. Sometimes, the only chance anyone had in combating that was with the help of another Spirit user, or maybe a witch like Sydney or Jackie. Fighting fire with fire. It was either that or wait for them to drive themselves crazy, and since Robert had somehow recovered from that, Dimitri, Jill, and my younger self would need all the help they could get.

Wait…my mind spun as an idea hit me. It was crazy and unorthodox. No one would go for it. In other words, it was perfect.

Unfortunately, some of the others had different plans.

"I agree with Guardian Belikov," said Kirova who was facing Alberta, "Ms. Mastrano should take priority. Surely you could send some guardians to the lower campus to begin keeping an eye on the girl. They'd stay by her side through the ski trip, or until this mess is behind us. And if this Spirit user is as deadly as you say, Ms. Hathaway, we should double up on security for Princess Vasilisa. Just in case. She is the last Dragomir. We can't be too careful."

I bristled a little at her attitude and was entirely happy with telling her so, but Alberta beat me to it.

"All students will be given ample protection before and during the ski trip, Headmistress. That includes Jillian Mastrano and Novice Hathaway. As for Guardian Belikov…" she turned to Dimitri a little apologetically, "Maybe Rose's buddy system isn't such a bad idea. We could schedule your shifts so that you always have a partner by your side. Just as some back up in case someone really does come after you."

Dimitri considered her words. "That sounds...agreeable."

I wanted to scoff. It wasn't nearly enough, but it was probably all that Dimitri thought he was willing to accept in the way of protection. I knew this must've been killing him inside. He wasn't the type to accept help easily and this whole situation was bound to make him feel like he was being coddled. If it were me, I'd be kicking and screaming. Now here I was, about to make that feeling so much worse.

"What about when he's off duty?" I challenged anyway. "I have another solution."

Dimitri looked at me in disbelief. "What other option could there possibly be?"

"The biggest things we have to worry about from Robert are his compulsion based powers. Being able to get into our heads. Spirit users are about on par with Strigoi when it comes to that sort of thing, but it doesn't work very well on other Spirit users. So, we make sure anyone that Robert's after is around a Spirit user 24/7. Like Lissa. She'll be able to snap them out of a mental attack long enough to fight back or get help."

There were some uneasy whispers around the table. I guessed it was understandable. I was basically proposing the idea of Moroi pseudo-guardians in an era before magical combat courses at academies were even mentioned as a possibility.

I went on, undaunted. "Past-me's already around Lissa often enough, so we just explain the situation to them and bring Jill into the mix."

Alberta raised an eyebrow. "That's not unreasonable. Both Moroi students would have constant Guardian protection, and the three under threat would be defended as well."

I was pleasantly surprised by how well Alberta was taking things, especially since she was the one I really had to convince. Everyone else could be as offended as they wanted to be. Alberta would be the one making the schedules and signing off on our plans. There was, however, one problem.

"Actually…" I bit my lip. Dimitri couldn't be around my past self and Lissa for the entirety of the ski trip, and I had to assume this could take that long. There were too many major events that had to happen without him. Things I was trying very hard not to think about in too much detail. Fortunately, I had another answer. One that hopefully wouldn't screw up the timeline too badly.

"There's an easier way to handle this without making Dimitri spend possibly the whole ski trip with the students. He'll still have normal Guardian duties at the lodge, won't he? More than usual since everyone's all panicked about Strigoi right now. He won't be able to perform them if he's spending all his time around three teenage girls."

Dimitri looked nearly offended. I was definitely not racking in the time travel brownie points. "Vasilisa is my duty. Once she graduates, I'll be doing just that."

Oh Comrade, if only you knew.

"But she hasn't graduated yet. Besides, Lissa's young. She doesn't have a full grasp of her powers. Even if I give her pointers, she'll have trouble shielding one or two people from compulsion, let alone three. We'd be better off splitting up the people at risk among multiple Spirit users."

"That sound great, Rose," said Alberta, "but unless you know any other Spirit users…"

"Actually, I do. He'll be at the lodge on the day we arrive. We can trust him. Once we explain the situation, I can convince him to watch over Dimitri."

Alberta looked pretty surprised at that. "And who is this other spirit user?"

Here we go.

"Adrian Ivashkov."


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER FOUR - ROSE

Needless to say, no one took that very well. Everyone knew about Adrian. Or at least his reputation. He was the perpetually drunk party-boy, the royal player. Whatever they thought about him, it likely wasn't very flattering. Even I had to admit it was a tough sell. It didn't help matters that I wasn't even entirely sure he'd be willing to go with me on this. He didn't know me yet and he wouldn't exactly be the same lovable ex-rogue that I knew in my time.

Still, I put on a good front and actually managed to convince Alberta it was a good plan. My success didn't come without a cost though. I knew I'd get an earful from Dimitri the next time we had a moment alone.

The rest of the meeting was mostly just logistics talk. Some people kept on trying to get more answers out of me, but I stayed tight-lipped. It was decided that we would wait until we arrived at the lodge to find Adrian and explain the whole time travelling assassin thing to him, Younger-Me, Lissa, and Jill. Which would be in two days - the day after Christmas.

Yeah, that's right. As it turned out, today was Christmas Eve. Because of course it was.

Until we left, I'd stick close-by Dimitri and the three students as much as I could manage.

Pretty soon, my cover story was born. I'd be posing as one of my mother's distant cousins. As far as most of the other guardians, students, and teachers were concerned, my name was now Guardian Joanne Hathaway from Ohio, here to offer extra protection for students in these dark times. I know, I know, it wasn't my favorite name either, but we all have to make some sacrifices every now and then. It was basic and non-conspicuous, and that's what I needed.

The new name also meant that I would need a new guardian badge. I couldn't exactly get away with using my old one. Fortunately, they had an ID card printer stored down in the Archives Building for all those newly graduated guardians that the academy sent off into the world each year. So, some paperwork and picture taking later, Alberta and my mom went off to spread word of my presence while Dimitri and I headed to Archives.

Normally, I welcomed alone time with him, but walking with this past version while he was in a mood was not exactly my idea of a fun time.

He was silent beside me, his form casting long shadows onto the walkway. The semester's classes likely just ended, so I was surprised to find that our path was almost entirely deserted. Then again, Archives wasn't the most popular location for students. They were probably elsewhere, celebrating the holiday within the warm confines of the Academy walls. As for me, the winter air was cold and brittle on my skin. I tugged my jacket a little tighter around me and found myself lamenting my missing totem once more.

Dimitri's eyes kept darting between me and the way ahead. Finally, I had enough.

"Stop pouting," I told him.

His long stride faltered a little. "I'm not pouting," he said gruffly.

I sighed. "Look, I know this isn't exactly what you want…"

He ran a hand through his hair, frustration evident on his face. "You're asking me to let someone follow me around for days, maybe even weeks, like I'm his charge. Meanwhile, we're sacrificing protection for those who might actually need it."

"We're not sacrificing anything. You can still hang around my past self and the others." Just not all the time. "And it's not like that. Think of it like...mutual guarding.

It might not be so bad. The two of you might even get along."

"I don't get along with people like Adrian Ivashkov." The venom in his voice surprised me. I knew the two of them didn't like each other at first, but I'd always assumed it was out of jealousy over me. Dimitri wouldn't have any reason to feel that yet.

"You don't even know him. He's not like Jesse," I said, remembering the night Dimitri caught me with the royal in one of the empty lounges. He'd been furious back then for a lot of reasons. Maybe this was something similar.

"I know people like him. They think they can get away with anything. Have anything or anyone they want." At moment later, his eyes widened at some kind of realization. His gaze turned dubious.

"How do you even know him?" he asked me.

I had a feeling that the details of my early relationship with Adrian would not put his mind at ease. I decided to go more general.

"First time around, we met at the ski trip. I know his reputation isn't so stellar, but Dimitri, he's a good guy. A lifelong friend. I swear."

He took that in and studied me for a long while. I waited patiently. I knew how weird this whole situation must've been for him.

Eventually, he nodded, willing to trust me. "Okay, Roza."

Somehow, our quiet journey felt more peaceful after that. Companionable now. It was refreshingly familiar.

At one point, it seemed like curiosity got the best of him.

"So, what's the future like?" he asked.

I shrugged, "It's fine. There aren't any flying cars yet, so that was a little disappointing."

He chuckled. "Are you still guarding Vasilisa?"

I decided that was innocent enough. "Well, yeah. Of course. Wouldn't have settled for anything else."

His smiled softly before his expression became serious as he struggled with something.

"And...are you happy?" he asked.

I thought about that. The simple answer was yes. I was immensely happy. I had Dimitri, I had Anton, I was Lissa's head guardian. I had everything I ever could've asked for and more. But right now, all of it was on the line. Every second that I was in the past, I risked losing everything, and I was scared. So scared that I'd make one wrong move, and I'd go back to a world where one of my loved ones was dead or to a place where Anton didn't exist.

That last fear was something I just couldn't bear to consider. When I was younger, I never would have believed that I could love someone with as much intensity as I loved Lissa and Dimitri. But for Dimitri and me, Anton was everything. He was smart and kind and he had the deepest, most serious brown eyes. Way more than I ever could have imagined a six year old could produce. Already, Anton reminded me so much of his father. That shy, gentle nature. The way he would drop whatever he was doing to help others in need.

A few weeks before I left, Anton was talking with his cousin Declan at what seemed like a million words a minute. Anton practically worshipped Declan and he was one of the few people who could get him out of his shell. But when a young Moroi girl fell off a swing nearby and started to cry, Anton practically ran to her before anyone else could reach her and helped her to her feet. He begged me to buy her an ice cream cone and didn't leave her side until she said she felt better. The following day he turned to me worriedly, apple juice cup in hand and asked me if I though the ice cream had been enough. 'Momma, maybe we should check on her, just to be sure.'

It was just one part in a long list of adorably considerate acts. Already, my son was extraordinary. I couldn't lose him.

It was impossible to tell Dimitri any of that though. As much as I wanted comfort from him, he wouldn't understand yet. He didn't realize all he and I had to lose.

So I gave him a reassuring look and just said, "Very happy. You can't imagine how much."

He looked relieved, but a little confused as well and I didn't know what to make of that. I decided to ask him something that had been on my mind since the meeting.

"So what's going on with my mom anyway? You were giving us strange looks earlier and I know she doesn't exactly get along with me right now, but she seemed pretty weird."

Dimitri raised an eyebrow, "You don't know? I would've thought you'd remember."

I wracked my brain for what could possibly be going on and drew up blank. "It's been over a decade. Cut me some slack. Remember what?"

He looked like he was a afraid that if he told me whatever it was, I'd go running to find Janine Hathaway right now to pick a fight. Honestly, I was a little offended. His expectations for seventeen year old Rose's temper might've been on point, but I liked to think I was much more responsible these days. Still, eventually he came out with it.

"A few days ago, your mother gave your younger self a black eye."

I stared at him for a moment as understanding hit me. Thinking back to my mom's earlier behavior, I laughed. "Oh, that's what this is! She punched me."

"You're not still mad?"

"God, of course not," I said, stifling more laughter, "I just can't believe this is how she's responding to it."

Like me, my mother could get pretty defensive when she felt like she was in the wrong. With the events still so fresh for her, it was bound to come across in her attitude towards me now.

Dimitri gave me that look again, like he was cataloguing some new fact about me. "I spoke with her after it happened. She was pretty upset."

Way more than I remembered apparently. I'd have to find some time to talk to her about it.

Looking at Dimitri, I noticed that he was starting to get a little tense. Rethinking what he said, I started feeling a bit of deja vu before another memory hit me and suddenly, I realized why he was so uncomfortable about this topic. He'd told me this once before, years ago in the school gym. The first time we'd kissed - truly kissed each other - since the lust spell.

For me, the thought was nostalgic. Knowing how far we'd come, how much we had to go through to reach the point where we could be open about our relationship without fear. For him, I'd bet all the secrets and the drama and the fact that it had happened only days ago probably made it less so.

We reached our destination before I could decide if I should say anything about it. Entering what I thought was a fairly nondescript building by Academy standards anyway, we managed to finagle our way past a startled receptionist who clearly hadn't expected to see people - let alone an unfamiliar guardian who bore a striking resemblance to Rose Hathaway.

We printed out the badge and Dimitri got a call over his radio comms from Alberta, who told him that things were settled and they had set up a room for me in guardian housing. By the time we made our way back across campus, it was bordering on daylight hours. If I remembered correctly, almost student curfew.

He walked me up to my room and we stood together by the door for a long moment.

"I'll see you tomorrow then," he said.

"Yeah, Merry Christmas, right?"

He quirked his brow at that and seemed to come to a decision. "I'll talk to Tasha in the morning and see if it's okay for you to come to her brunch. It'll be easier for you to look out for Robert that way."

Right. The brunch. And Tasha. God, this time travel thing was really going to mess with my head.

"Sounds good," I said anyway.

He nodded and looked like he was about to turn away when I realized there was something else I needed to ask him.

"Wait, Dimitri!"

"Yes?" he answered.

"When my jacket pockets were emptied, do you know if they found anything else besides my guardian badge?"

"Like what?"

"It would look like a small wooden rose," I said, hoping he wouldn't notice the urgent edge in my voice. A part of the totem's magic was that it had to be somehow tied to my identity. Sydney had said something about it preventing anyone else from using it, but it had mostly just made me feel silly carrying around some random rose carving. Now, with it out of my grasp, I was grateful that it was keyed into my signature. I didn't want to think about what could happen if that kind of power fell into the wrong hands.

Dimitri shook his head, bemused. "Not that I know of." Seeing my fallen expression he added, "but I can check in with Guardian Petrov in the morning. See if she found anything."

I gave a weak smile and thanked him, a sense of foreboding building in the pit of my stomach. I had a feeling Alberta wouldn't be much help.


	5. Chapter 5

CHAPTER FIVE - ROSE

The next morning, Dimitri stopped by my room to let me know that things were a-go for Christmas brunch. He also confirmed my fears about the totem. Alberta hadn't seen it and it wasn't in any evidence locker.

Feeling pretty confident that Robert wouldn't make any moves so soon after his last attempt, I decided to retrace my steps to see if I'd dropped it somewhere.

Exiting my room, which was a pretty standard space for academy guardian living, I made my way through the halls of St. Vladimir's. Being back here felt surreal, like I'd been plunged into my memories. It wasn't just the sights that were the same (though they were definitely strange to see again after all this time), but the people. Teenagers, teachers, and guardians walked the halls around me, enjoying the start of their break. Many of those faces, I recognized. Some who I knew from back at Court looked like children now. Others had died years ago.

A lot of them looked at me curiously as I passed by, no doubt processing my resemblance to my past self. As luck would have it though, news seemed to have already spread about the third Hathaway on campus, so I didn't have to worry about any awkward questions.

Or so I thought. I was a few feet from the entrance to the cafeteria when I bumped into them. I froze, wholly unprepared in that moment for an interaction with the people in front of me.

My past self and a red haired boy with a face full of freckles. Mason. Standing here before me, vibrant and young and alive. My memories didn't do him justice (possibly because several of the more vivid one's involved him being a ghost). He'd been laughing at something younger-Rose was saying, blue eyes gleaming with mischief and fondness, but his expression shifted to one of surprise when he noticed me.

"No way," he said, looking between younger-Rose and I like we were some kind of optical illusion.

Past-me seemed just as shocked. She looked me up and down, taking in our similar features.

I focused my attention on her too, because Mason was still a can of worms I was trying hard not to open.

Putting on my best guardian expression, I told her, "You must be Janine's daughter."

She balled her fists slightly at the mention of our mother. Staring closely at her face (which was a weird thing to do, let me tell you), I saw the black bruises around her eye which I knew had been put through some failed cover-up attempts.

"And you're my mom's...cousin," she said, "Funny, she never mentioned you."

I shrugged. "It's a big family tree."

"So what, you're from Scotland?" she asked.

That had been the biggest obstacle while figuring out my cover story. My mother had explained that all of her cousins still lived in the old country, and since pulling off an accent for weeks wasn't exactly in my skill-set, we'd had to improvise.

"Ohio, actually. I moved to America when I was very young. One of the black sheep in the family I guess," I leaned against the wall and crossed my arms, trying to look casual. Still, I couldn't help but peer towards the cafeteria door, longing for my escape.

"And you're here as backup for the ski trip?" asked Mason curiously.

"That's right."

"Huh," said Past-me, "It's a little weird that you and my mom decided to show up within the same week. And if you're going to be a ski lodge guardian, why come to the academy first?"

"Actually, I'm also here to catch up with Janine." It just figured that another version of myself would treat this like some kind of interrogation. I didn't even need to hide things from her for that long, but I hoped she wouldn't blow my cover for Mason.

Past-me scoffed. "My mom's not exactly the 'family reunion' type."

"You'd be surprised," I said, thinking back to all the times mom had cashed in on her vacation time to visit us back at Court, surprising Anton with hugs and the occasional present. Where she might've had some failings as a parent to me when I was younger, she made up for it with her prime grandmother game.

My younger self glowered at me. "Yeah, everyone's been telling me that lately."

"You should listen to them," I told her, knowing she wouldn't - at least not for a while - but hoping that the advice might get me out of there faster.

Courtesy of Mason, no such luck.

"Rose won't have time to make nice with her mom if she wants to try and catch up to me on the slopes. I'm practically, like, the Ski Master."

Past-me jabbed him playfully in the chest. "Ain't no trying needed, Ashford. I'm a natural. You won't know what hit you."

He sent her a smoldering look. "Maybe you're right."

She bit her bottom lip and fluttered her eyes at him, "You bet I am, Ski Master."

I felt a deep wave of sadness and frustration while watching them. They looked so carefree. It was crushing to know that this would be the last few days of Mason's life. I couldn't stop it. If anything, I had to ensure it happened so that it wouldn't mess with the timeline. Seeing the clear love in his eyes when he looked at my younger self made it worse somehow. She thought the flirting was harmless, that she could just string him along until she figured her own emotions out, but I knew better.

"Maybe you should focus more on training," I snapped at her, "instead of some contest you don't really care enough about."

Her eyes widened. "It's break!"

"Strigoi don't exactly go on breaks." Especially if your loose lips cause your friends to go and seek them out.

"I know that," she glared, "I've actually met Strigoi. Have you?"

She must've been talking about Natalie, although I wouldn't really consider being thrown around outside a jail cell as a point in anyone's favor. She was probably betting on me not knowing that.

"What do you think?" I ran a hand through my hair, wishing I hadn't gotten into this. "Look, I need to check on something." I made a motion past them both to signal I was leaving.

"Yeah, whatever," Past-me grumbled.

As I walked away, I overheard my past self whispering to Mason, loud enough that I knew she was aware I could still hear. "What a bitch," she said.

Still fuming as I entered the empty cafeteria and began my search, I didn't even notice Stan until he was calling my name from behind me in the dim-lighted room. I could've kicked myself. I was clearly off my game today.

"Yeah?" I answered, turning around to face him.

"Back to the scene of the crime, I see," he said jokingly. I didn't even think Stan knew how to joke. He seemed to have shed the last dredges of suspicion towards my identity. He now looked like his usual scowling self rather than Extra Scowl, edition 2.0.

"I'm glad I found you, Hathaway. I wanted to speak to you about the guard detail for Mastrano and Novice Hathaway."

I didn't blame him for not bringing up Dimitri. Getting him to agree to one tag-along was hard enough.

"Since you'll be spending much of your time hunting down the spirit user, I could help to organize shifts among those of us in-the-know to keep an eye on them while you're not around."

Oh wow. I'd assumed that Alberta would handle that sort of thing, but she did have a lot of other stuff on her plate. Managing the student body's safety from Strigoi and keeping things in order for the trip were just two of many. It was surprisingly good of Stan to take the initiative.

"Good idea," I told him, "but try to be subtle. I know my past self wouldn't appreciate feeling like she's being watched."

Stan rolled his eyes. "Your past self needs to learn that we can't always get everything we want."

The jab might've annoyed me normally, but since I was also kind of pissed at younger-me in that moment, I couldn't really complain.

"Trust me, it'll make things easier to keep this quiet, even after she finds out the truth. I'm not sure if you know this, but I'm kind of a handful."

Stan actually laughed, "You certainly are."

Had I entered some topsy turvy world where Stan could actually be nice and helpful? How had things gotten to the point where I got along better with him than an actual version of myself?

"Look, Hathaway," he said, "I might not know much about what happens in the future, but I wanted to let you know that...you seem different. More responsible. I know you probably think I went out of my way to be hard on you, but it's only because I know just how much you can really excel. I have a feeling I was right."

I was honestly speechless. Stan had shown some less than terrible colors in my past before. I mean, he outright hugged me in my first molnija mark ceremony. But he'd never been so blunt about it. Maybe he felt more comfortable speaking with a guardian - someone he might consider more on his level - than a student.

"And if you ever need help keeping your novice self in line," he went on, "I'll be there."

Well, okay. Weird, but I'd take it.

"Thanks. I think."

After that, he asked me what I'd been doing in the cafeteria and I went into some vague explanation about looking for clues as to Robert's whereabouts. He bought it, but when he offered to help, I knew my totem search would have to be postponed. I let him know that it was fine. I had to go to the Christmas brunch soon anyway. At least I was pretty sure by that point that the totem wasn't in the cafeteria. That just left an entire school which I'd be leaving soon, and the growing possibility that someone (and I hoped to God it wasn't Robert) might have stolen it.


	6. Chapter 6

CHAPTER SIX - DIMITRI

Christmas church services seemed to pass by in a blur. I couldn't stop thinking about Rose. Meeting her future self put a lot of things into perspective, but instead of calming me, it only left me feeling more confused than ever before.

We couldn't keep going on the way we were. Having moments like the kiss in the gym and then making believe for the rest of the world like there was nothing between us. The pent up frustration alone was bound to drive me insane. If we were ever discovered, both of our reputations would be ruined, not to mention the potential legal consequences for myself.

Seeing her future self, hearing her tell me how happy she was, only proved to me that I had to make sure that future came to pass. I couldn't let my selfish choices ruin things for her.

She'd told me she was happy, but did that mean she was happy with us staying in this strange limbo? Was she happy with the fact that my compromised feelings inevitably placed Vasilisa in danger? What if I was holding her back? Maybe the only real option was to let her go so that she could focus on graduating without me distracting her, putting a wrench in the works of her becoming the brilliant guardian that I knew she could be - the one I'd maybe just spent most of yesterday night with. Perhaps that was why Older Rose was so determined to pair me with Adrian Ivashkov of all people as my protection rather than staying with her younger self and Vasilisa. She didn't trust me anymore. Not around Vasilisa or her past self.

But even if staying away from her was the right choice, how could I do it? How could I leave her when every fiber of my being was begging me to stay? When just the thought of a life without her left me feeling hollow inside?

Tasha had practically served up an answer to all of my problems on a silver platter. I could have everything I'd ever wanted with her. A life of my own, a family, a position as close to freedom as I could have ever really imagined in this life. I knew Tasha was capable. She could hold her own in a fight. She was a good person. We were close and I'd known her for years. But every time I tried to picture myself in that life with her, it just never felt right. Like all of the color had been drained out of the world. It was a future that was comfortable and safe, but lacking in any kind of intensity or passion.

Yet every sign, every inkling of logic I had, was telling me that this was quickly becoming my only choice.

I tried my best to staunch the guilt at my indecision and all too soon, I was stepping through the entryway of a small parlor in guest housing. Thankfully, Tasha's event promised to be a low-key affair. She tended to prefer small gatherings and with my late addition of Older Rose, those in attendance would likely just be the three of us, Christian, Vasilisa, and Younger Rose.

Younger Rose's inclusion was a little worrisome for me, partially because this would technically be the first time I'd be seeing my Rose since the kiss, and also because I wasn't entirely sure what to expect from two Roses being in the same room together. The possibilities were...frightening.

Tasha greeted me and we soon got to talking in that easy way I was so familiar with from years of friendship. I tried to let myself relax, but I couldn't help but keep glancing in younger Rose's direction.

She'd invited Mason and as the afternoon wore on, I didn't think I saw him step more than two feet away from her. Seeing how open they could be together, how he made her smile, made me wish more than ever that things could be different between us. I knew Mason liked her and unlike me, he could pursue a relationship with her if he wanted. Rose could be happy with him. She didn't directly approach me, and maybe that was for the best.

I pushed back my envy and tried to focus on what Tasha was saying. Apparently, her cousin recently had another son. Funny, I was pretty sure they'd had quite a few kids to begin with. That would bring the total up to...Oh wow.

"Five?" I asked her. "I hadn't heard that."

Tasha nodded. "It's insane. I swear, I don't think his wife's had more than six months off between kids. She's short, too - so she just gets wider and wider."

The sound of the parlor door opening made all of us turn. Older Rose walked in and immediately got a stink eye from her younger self. Older Rose sneered right back. They must've met after all. I wasn't sure whether to find the interaction funny or to just be grateful that the two of them hadn't already decided to join forces.

Tasha beckoned her over to us with a smile. Older Rose smiled back, but for some reason, it seemed a little forced. Her hair was up in a soft ponytail and she was wearing a simple outfit, less formal than a guardian's uniform but still pretty and easy to maneuver in a fight. While she was technically Tasha's guest, she was definitely ready for action.

"You must be Joanne. Dimka's told me so much about you!"

Older Rose looked at me in mild disbelief. "So much, huh?"

"About how kind it was of you to show up at the Academy on such short notice," I told her, "We can certainly use the help."

"That," Tasha added, "and it definitely seemed like you two knew each other beforehand. Am I right?"

I winced. I certainly hadn't meant for Tasha to get that impression when I'd asked for her to let Rose join, but maybe I'd hyped her up too much.

Older Rose nodded slowly, "We've crossed paths before. Anyway, I hope I wasn't interrupting anything..." She gestured between us in efforts to change the subject.

Thankfully, Tasha took the bait and grinned. "Oh, not at all. I was just telling Dimka about how my cousin recently had his fifth child."

I found myself getting back into the swing of the conversation too. It really was pretty crazy. "When I first met him, he swore he didn't even want kids."  
Tasha's eyes widened excitedly. "I know! I can't believe it. You should see him now. He just melts around them. I can't even understand him half the time. I swear, he speaks more baby talk than English."

I smiled, thinking about all of the times I'd helped Karolina out with little Paul or even just interacted with other parents and their children. I'd certainly been around plenty of new mothers back in Baia, and I knew just how much the experience could change a person. It was awe inspiring to know that something so small and innocent could have so much potential. That the task of shaping that potential, allowing it to grow and flourish, was in your hands.

"Well...children do that to people," I said.

"I can't imagine it happening to you," Tasha teased, "You're always so stoic. Of course ... I suppose you'd be doing baby talk in Russian, so no one would ever know."

Rose chuckled a little alongside Tasha. I laughed too, but there was something a little uncomfortable about discussing my hypothetical future children with both the woman who'd all but promised them to me and the woman who I wished I could really...well, it didn't matter. It was impossible.

"I'll bet he'd be more transparent than you'd think," said Rose, looking at me with a strange gleam in her eyes.

Tasha raised an eyebrow. "Oh?"

"The trick is to get Viktoria on the phone and have her translate."

Wait...what?

"Oh, you know Viktoria? Have you been to Baia?" asked Tasha, surprised.

My mind spun. When would she have ever visited my family? Why?

Rose seemed lost for words, which had to be a new look on her, even in the future. Still, she recovered quickly from her slip, if that's what it was.

"Um yeah," she said, "I met his family while I was visiting Russia a few years ago. We've been pretty close ever since."

"Is that how you know Dimitri?"

"Yes, absolutely," she answered promptly, clearly taking advantage of the addition to her cover story.

I looked between the two women, dumbfounded. I wondered how much of that was actually true. She couldn't exactly be straightforward with Tasha right there, but I knew lies were always more believable with an inkling of truth. Would I go with Rose to my home country at some point?

Despite how unexpected the idea was, I couldn't help but imagine what my family's reactions to her must've been. Viktoria probably would've adored her. The two were actually quite similar and I could see my sister looking up to her. Plus, I had no doubt that Mama would dote over her like she was a part of the family. The musings left me feeling warm and oddly hopeful.

I wanted to ask her more about it, but before I could pull her aside, Christian's voice carried over to us from where he'd been speaking with Vasilisa.

"Wow, look at those molnija. That's insane. Guardian Hathaway?"

Rose's ponytail must have shifted as she was speaking to us, revealing the back of her neck to the students.

She spun around to a face the wide eyed Ozera boy, inadvertently giving Tasha and I a good vantage point to see what Christian meant.

And he was right. It was insane. Her neck was completely covered. She had the standard promise mark, a long S-like shape snaking around two molnija on either side. From there, six more branched out in neat little rows of three. And below the promise mark, more molnija still circled around five small black star symbols. Battle marks.

In total, she had to have almost twenty marks on her neck. I looked between this Rose and my Rose who was peering around Mason by the hors d'oeuvres table, trying to get a better look. I couldn't see it, but I knew her neck was bare and untouched. I'd only just started teaching her how to wield a stake. What had happened?

It seemed as though Christian had something similar on his mind, however he lacked the information which might make him question what this could all mean for his friend.

"It's just that I've, uh, never seen a mark like that before."

"It's a Zvezda mark," she said, "Means I've been in a battle with lots of Strigoi."

The students all gaped at her. I was having a hard time not doing the same.

"You have five," Christian pointed out.

"Yeah, well, the last one's more symbolic than anything. It became too hard to keep track."

"Too hard?" asked Younger Rose incredulously.

Beside her, Mason grinned. "Oh there's gotta be a story there. What about the first one? Was it a battle like...at the Badica house?"

Younger Rose looked a little annoyed at him for bringing it up so lightly and I didn't blame her.

"More," came Older Rose, "a lot more."

She appeared strained, caught up in what had to be some nightmarish memory. It was never easy to talk about this sort of thing.

A lot of novices saw the molnija as marks of glory. Conversation pieces and tattoos to be praised. I'd had to correct Rose's perception of that earlier this week, and Ashford appeared to have a similar mentality. I knew better. I saw that Future Rose did as well. Tasha too, if the solemn respect she was casting Joanne's way was any indicator.

Still, somehow Mason wore her down, and she described what seemed like a majorly edited version of one of the battles she'd been in. It was the fourth mark, she told us.

"It was a rescue mission. Volunteer basis. About twenty Strigoi banded together and thought they could bargain away the lives of six Moroi for some...special individual that they wanted. We had the numbers, but they had leverage. One wrong move and they'd kill their captives. Or worse. So, we got creative. I offered myself up. They were intrigued enough to let me in alone. Made me throw my stake across the room. I was weaponless, but what they didn't know was that some friends of mine had been working on, well, let's call it a new technology. It was a device that could emit a loud soundwave. We hoped it would distract the Strigoi by disrupting their super-hearing, but it had never been tested. I had it in my pocket and it ended up working way better than anyone expected. Knocked them flat on their asses for almost three minutes. My team came in and we made pretty fast work of taking them all out. Saved the captives with no casualties."

I had to admit, the story was pretty incredible. For one, rescue missions weren't done very often, and certainly not without a lot of controversy. For everyone else, this must have seemed like some crazy tale that they'd just never heard of. Only Future Rose and I knew the truth.

Mason and the others had a dozen more questions for her. At one point, Tasha asked her what ever happened to the device she'd used to debilitate the Strigoi. She would only say that it wouldn't work anymore. Not here. I took that to mean she hadn't considered bringing something like that back in time with her, but I kept that thought to myself.

For the most part, I stayed quiet and listened. I had a feeling that the only reason she was being as open as she was about this was because Mason was the one who asked. The way she was looking at him...it was like he was the only one in the room.

About twenty minutes later, Vasilisa broke away with younger Rose to exchange presents. The princess offered her a small bracelet sized chotki and I watched in contentment as Rose's expression shifted from confusion to one of touched gratitude when she realized that it was a Dragomir family heirloom. The two soon began joking and laughing together.

Rose's mother showed up late a little while later, and I saw how quickly younger Rose's good mood soured. Besides perhaps her future self, it didn't seem like anyone had noticed, but to me it was as clear as day. The two avoided each other as well as they could in the little parlor. For Rose, I was certain it was out of frustration and hurt, but I still thought Janine seemed more ashamed and anxious rather than angry. She kept on sending furtive glances towards the deep bruise on Rose's face and then looking away.

The agitation between the two didn't stop Older Rose from pulling her mother aside for a talk. I caught some of the low conversation.

"I know there may have been some bad blood in the past between us," Rose said pointedly, "But it doesn't have to be that way now, okay? The mistakes we've made? I'm over it. So for now, while I'm here, why don't we just start over?"

"I'd like that."

Considering the fact that several times last week, my Rose had asked me to replace one of our training dummies with a redhead who resembled her mother so that she could practice murdering her, I thought I was at least a little entitled to my surprise at just how easy it was for the two of them to make amends. One of them just needed to take the first step.

In this case, it was a version of Rose who I was starting to suspect had already had this conversation - or one like it - back in her time.

I wondered if it was strange for her to see her mother like this - practically the same age as her and judging by her molnija marks, with maybe even less experience.

With a start, I realized future Rose was actually a little older than Tasha. The reversed age gap between us was clearly something I still needed to wrap my mind around. Not that I saw my Rose as any lesser because she was young. She was mature for her age, often wise beyond her years. But...I'd still always been older. I was her mentor. It was a dynamic I understood.

Eventually, the party began to disperse. Younger Rose left with Mason, a fact I wasn't the most ecstatic to realize, and Janine followed after them a few minutes later. Older Rose let me know she was going off to check on Jillian Mastrano and soon, it was just Tasha and me.

We chatted a little while I helped her clean up. Small, inconsequential things. Speaking with Tasha was always easy. And unlike with Rose, who was unpredictable at the best of times, I usually knew what to expect. It was why I saw it coming from a mile away when she finally addressed the elephant in the room.

"So have you thought any more about my offer?"

Regrettably, the foreknowledge had done little to help me come up with a sufficient answer.

"I've thought about it."

She waited. "...and?"

I knew exactly what I had to say. I had to accept. Tell her yes.

"And...I need some more time. I'm sorry Tasha. It's just...this is such a big decision. I wouldn't want to make it lightly."

"No, no, of course, Dimka. I understand." she smiled, fidgeting with the folded ends of a table cloth she'd been packing away.

There was an awkward pause.

"Joanne seems nice," Tasha began.

I nodded in agreement.

"The two of you seem like you get along really well."

"Do we?" I hadn't thought I'd spoken much with Older Rose this afternoon. After the revelation that she'd somehow been to Baia, it had seemed like she'd only had eyes for Mason. Both Rose's really. I didn't like the sparks of jealousy that had been building up in me towards the boy. He was a good kid and a skilled novice. What right did I have to be jealous anyway?

Tasha studied me intently for a long moment. "Yes, you do."

I supposed I had been paying a lot of attention to her. Maybe that was what Tasha meant. I still didn't feel like I had her fully figured out. Sometimes it felt like being around her was exactly the same as being around my Rose. But other times, it was like I was in entirely new territory. There was so much I wanted to know, but as close as we were - or potentially 'had been' for her, my thoughts nagged - I had a feeling she wouldn't be so upfront about offering me answers.

We finished up in the parlor and said our goodbyes for the night.

Tasha's final words to me were soft and patient. "Just don't wait too long, okay? These are the rest of our lives we're talking about."

I knew what she meant. Still, I couldn't help but take it a different way. It was the rest of our lives and I was at a turning point. If I was going to ensure that I made the right choice, if only for Rose's sake if not my own, then I had to find out from our resident time traveler herself. And in a plan worthy of Rose Hathaway, I realized that if my suspicions were correct and she wasn't willing to be upfront, then I might just need to do some sleuth work of my own.


	7. Chapter 7

CHAPTER SEVEN - DIMITRI

The flight to the ski lodge was alarming to say the least. Younger Rose ignored me the entire trip. I kept trying to catch her eye, but I couldn't even tell if she was angry at me about something. She simply spoke with Mason and acted as if I didn't exist.

What if she'd finally wisened up and realized there was no point in staying hung up over me? Maybe I was just deluding myself. Postponing the inevitable by pretending as if I had any say in our future. Like I could just ask the right questions and I would be offered up the perfect justification to stay. Rose might've been making my choice for me.

I found myself zoning out on Tasha for the fifth time, so I decided to try out my new resolve. When Older Rose got up to go to the bathroom, I followed her.

"What's going on with you?" I whispered.

"Me? Well my bladder is aching like a bitch."

I shook my head. "I meant younger you."

Understanding flickered in her eyes and she shifted nervously. "She's fine. Look at her. Picture of tranquility. Which is good because it only goes downhill from here." She jabbed her hand towards the toilet door.

"Rose please. Give me something," I begged.

She huffed. "If I do, will you let me pee?"

I nodded.

"Okay, fine. She knows."

I furrowed my brow. "She knows? About what?"

"She knows about you and Tasha, you bathroom Nazi."

What?

"How did she find out about that?"

Did Older Rose tell her? Why?

She rolled her eyes. "You told my mom, Comrade. Of course it came out."

Oh. I felt like an idiot. I'd wanted to be the one to talk to Rose about all of it. That was, when I actually knew if there was something to talk about. I could only imagine the kinds of conclusions that her mind must have gone to. How much did she know?

And then I felt guilty again, because any of the things that Rose might've assumed were what I should've already decided to do.

I tried to question Older Rose further, but she slammed the door in my face.

Looking back down the aisle at her younger self, I wished I could explain myself. Sadly, I didn't think a small jet with all her friends (plus Tasha) inside would really be the best setting for this, so I plopped back down in my seat next to Tasha and waited out the remainder of the torture.

I didn't get much time to talk with her after we'd landed either. The students were immediately carted off and shown to their rooms. Rose had been placed into a triple with Vasilisa and Jillian - a last minute adjustment that had still gone unexplained for the students.

We were set to reconvene in about an hour at a small office behind the main lobby desk. Ivashkov had already been notified that his presence was needed, and Older Rose assured us that she could find him and convince him to come if he was feeling reluctant.

I was still intensely curious as to how she knew him, but finding out any more about that would have to wait. I could only hope that Rose was right that he wasn't what I suspected. It wasn't that I didn't trust her judgement. I just didn't trust royal Moroi who were known to be womanizers with drinking problems. It seemed a little too close to home for my liking. A little too close to my father.

I was meant to gather the three girls around the same point that she collected Adrian, but that didn't seem like the best time for younger Rose and I to address our issues either. I didn't really want Vasilisa and the Mastrano girl listening in.

As it turned out, I didn't have to worry about finding younger Rose. About fifteen minutes before I was set to bring the girls together, she found me. Or rather, she charged at me.

I was in one of the lodge's many lavish dining halls, grabbing a bite to eat before what I assumed would be a very long remainder of the day, when I saw her storming towards me with fire in her eyes. I felt a sense of whiplash at the stark change from the emotionless mask she'd been sporting earlier.

She got right to the point, though it wasn't what I was expecting. "She is not my cousin."

Realizing what was going on, I kept my face expressionless. "Your mother did say she hadn't heard from her in a while. It makes sense that she wouldn't have mentioned-"

Rose quickly cut me off. "She looks exactly like me!"

I thought about bringing up the idea of family resemblance, but decided it was pointless. She would find out the truth soon enough anyway. There was no need to circle around the issue. It was impossible to lie to her anyway. She was incorrigible, I thought fondly.

Rose was decidedly less fond of me in that moment. Before I could even try to explain, she continued with a glare, clearly on a roll. "I never hear about her. Not once. Not from my mom or the guardians or, hell, the rumor mill. And now she's telling all of these crazy stories about magic Strigoi taser devices? I don't buy it. I thought my mom was over the top whenever she talks about old fights, but this lady's like Janine Hathaway times fifty."

Considering who she was actually talking about, I almost wanted to agree with her about that, but another question crossed my mind.

"What did she even do?" I asked her, perplexed.

"Nothing!" she answered, her voice cracking just a little. "Look, you know her right? Tasha said you did, so cut the crap and spill. Who is she really?"

Seeing her expression, I realized that nothing had brought this on. There was no big confrontation that had happened in the last half hour between past and future Rose. She was using this as a distraction. From me.

"I will tell you," I told her earnestly, "in a few minutes, we can meet up with some of your friends and I'll explain everything. But Rose, about Tasha…"

She shook her head fiercely. "I don't want to talk about that. I want to talk about the fact that you and my mom and who knows who else thinks that they can just lie to me like this and get away with it. Do you guys all think I'm stupid?"

"Of course not. It just wasn't the right time to tell you…"

She laughed humorlessly. "It's never the right time, is it? Well, except for maybe with Tasha."

Oh, now she wanted to talk about Tasha?

"Hell, maybe Joanne too. Are they both offering you fringe benefits?"

I choked. Was that seriously what she thought of me?

"That's it, Rose. You're out of line."

"Maybe, but hey, I'm sure you guys will be happy together. They're both just your type too. I know how much you like women who aren't your own age. I mean, they're both what, six years older than you? Seven? And I'm seven years younger than you." The bitterness in her voice shocked me. The way she was lashing out only worked to stir up my own angers and frustrations.

"Yes," I said to her, "You are. And every second this conversation goes on, you only prove how young you really are. Stop acting like a child."  
She looked at me like I'd slapped her and I instantly regretted my words.

I wanted to say something, apologize, do anything. But her expression hardened and she was turning away before I could even hope to break out of my stupor. Like a whirlwind, she was gone just as fast as she'd come hurtling in.


	8. Chapter 8

CHAPTER EIGHT - ROSE

I had to say, Pre-Sydney Adrian was hard work. I found him on his way to one of the spas, clearly not planning on going to any clandestine meetings. Well, at least not the kind that would possibly save the future.

I called out to him and he turned to face me, looking me up and down appreciatively. He wore a white lodge-issued robe and didn't seem to care that he was half naked.

"Adrian! Don't you have somewhere to be?"

He looked amused. "Nice to meet you too, stranger."

I decided not to beat around the bush. Thankfully, we were alone. "My name's Rose Hathaway," I told him.

He tilted his head. "Janine Hathaway's daughter? Don't you go to St. Vlad's? No offense, and far be it from me to question a beautiful woman's age, but you look a bit old to be a student."

"It's complicated." It wouldn't have to be if he came with me, but regardless, he let it go pretty fast.

"Well, Adrian Ivashkov, at your service," He gave a little bow with a wink. "But I guess you already knew that."

"Look Adrian, you were invited to join a couple of people in a special new security measure," I said, crossing my arms, "The part about it being an invitation was...less than optional."

"Well Mrs. Guardian," he said, "I've come to realize that most things in life are optional. Pantsuits for example, are very optional. Casual Fridays, dinner with your parents, spending an afternoon with yours truly. All very optional, with some being more desirable than others."

I snorted. "And in your infinite wisdom, would you say putting other people's lives at risk is also optional?"

I was laying it on a little thick, but I was hoping the guilt trip might at least get him in the room with us.

His eyes drifted to the space around my head, studying the area carefully. I knew exactly what he was doing, but I said nothing.

A moment later, he smirked. "I gotta say, I'm digging the whole authoritarian thing you've got going, but I know it's an act. And whatever it is you want me to do, I'm sure it's fun but honestly, I think I'm good. Still, if it involves you and me in a hot tub somewhere, I might consider it."

He took a step away and I sighed.

"Not so fast," I said, "The truth is, we need you, Adrian. There's something very bad coming and it could hurt a lot of people. You're one of the few who might actually be able to help. You don't even need to do that much. You'll just have to spend a little time with someone who might be in danger."

I could see that I was getting through to him just a little. As much as Adrian liked to pretend not to care about anything, I knew that deep down, he wanted to help others. He wanted to be better than he thought he was. Still, my pushing clearly wasn't enough. It was times like these that I really wished Sydney was here.

"I don't exactly do the hero thing," he shrugged. "I like to leave that to the professionals. We all have our own skill sets. Yours is probably kicking ass and taking names or whatever guardians do. Mine has more to do with my innate skill to be charming and handsome."

"Right," I said. Time to pull out the big guns. "Well, at least I don't have to convince you that I'm telling the truth. I know you can already see that. Because you can see my aura."

He froze. That must've hit a nerve.

"And if you wanted to find me later to talk about it," I went on, "you could probably arrange that in a dream. Because you can dream walk. You wanna know how I know all that? Come with me right now, and I can explain."

He was staring at me intently now. At this point, he didn't understand what he was. He probably thought he was alone. The possibility of me having answers for him had to be tantalizing.

After a long pause, he finally agreed to come with me. I had him get dressed first, because I really didn't want him in a robe the first time he met my younger self. Or Jill for that matter. Adrian's personality was traumatizing enough.

As it turned out, getting everyone together was harder than we'd initially thought. Dimitri gave me a call about five minutes after I roped Adrian in and told me that he and my past self had gotten into a fight and now he couldn't find her. I wasn't too worried. We'd fought a lot with each other at the ski lodge. I didn't remember us talking at all on that first day, but I also didn't think an early argument would change much.

So while he gathered Lissa and Jill, I dragged Adrian off in search of Mini-Me. I ended up cheating a little and explained some background information to him so he wouldn't be too confused about seeing double. He took it surprisingly well.

We found her nearly twenty minutes later on the slopes with Mason. After dragging her away, I introduced them, and her and Adrian got to talking on the way back to the lobby. Things went about as well as I'd have expected.

"You smell good, you know," he told her suddenly.

"I...um, what?"

"You smell good," he repeated.

"Are you joking? I've been sweating half the day. I'm disgusting."

"Sweat isn't a bad thing," he said, looking upward thoughtfully. He went into a long-winded ramble about the importance, and sexiness, of sweat. It all sounded very familiar, and very spirit induced. I tuned most of it out, but some of their banter filtered through.

"So little dhampir, I see you're going to be a guardian when you grow up." He had the nerve to wink at me as he said it.

"Obviously," said my past self, none the wiser.

"How long until you grow up?" he asked. "I might need a guardian."  
"I graduate in the spring. But I'm already spoken for. Sorry. Besides, I don't even really know you."

"Want to?" he asked her flirtatiously.

"Sorry. I'm not into older guys."

"I'm twenty-one. Not that much older."  
"I have a boyfriend," she lied.

"Funny you didn't mention that right away," Adrian mused. "He didn't give you that black eye, did he?"

She blushed. "He wouldn't be alive if he did. I got it during ... practice. I mean, I'm training to be a guardian. Our classes are always rough."  
"That's pretty hot," he said. He dropped a cigarette to the ground and put it out with his foot. He'd taken a pack from his room when I brought him there to change earlier. I'd already told him that he couldn't smoke inside the lobby and I hoped this would be his last one. I definitely did not miss this habit of his.

"Punching me in the eye?" Past-me asked him.  
"Well, no. Of course not. I meant that the idea of getting rough with you is hot. I'm a big fan of full-contact sports."  
God. The nostalgia was strong with this one. I guessed I wouldn't have to worry about them getting off track from the timeline.

After we made it to the little back office - where Alberta, the girls, and everyone else in-the-know were waiting - explanations took a while. Dimitri and my past self were pointedly not looking at each other and Adrian kept interrupting to ask questions about Spirit.

"So you're saying I can heal people. Like bring them back from the dead?"

I tried very hard not to look over at Jill, who was taking in this whole exchange with saucer-like eyes.

"Yes." I rethought that. "Well, not everybody. Bonding yourself to more than one person would be a pretty bad idea."

Adrian nodded thoughtfully and grabbed at a random coffee cup, which I knew wasn't his. He took a sip and made a face before placing the cup back down in disdain. I hoped he hadn't been thinking it would be a good liquor substitute.

I went over the basics. Who I was, the bond - for Adrian and Jill's sakes (deftly leaving out the fact that I no longer had one with my Lissa), the fact that three of them we in danger, and how we needed them to stick around Lissa or Adrian for safety.

Lissa seemed just as ecstatic as she had been the first time around to find out there was another spirit user like her.

Meanwhile, Adrian was weirdly acceptant of his new job to follow Dimitri around. In fact, he was looking at my stiff-shouldered future husband almost mischievously. I wasn't sure what to make of it. For the most part, Dimitri would be going about his usual duties. However, he was being given a little more break time to accommodate Adrian.

With everything settled, and after another game of Prove You're Rose Hathaway, Alberta let me know that she wanted me to check in with her daily about my progress. Soon, we all cleared out.

Lissa and my past self cornered me almost immediately afterwards with Jill trailing behind them, which was okay since I'd planned on following them around for the rest of the day anyway.

"So...you're really me," asked Past-me for the billionth time.

"Uh huh."

"From the future."

"Yep."

Past-Rose just kept on looking at me like something didn't compute, but Lissa surprised me. Squealing, she darted over and wrapped me in a tight hug. It happened so fast, my guardian reflexes only barely picked it up in time to prepare for her vice grip.

"Rose!" she said, to either one of us - it was anyone's guess, "This is amazing! You're a guardian. And a good one too!"

The two of them sent me identical glances, just below my chin. I knew they were both remembering the last time they'd see my bare neck, probably with new perspectives now. I grimaced at how much I'd ended up telling them about my marks. I'd tried to stick with more recent stories - things that wouldn't impact them for years. But looking at Mason with so few days left, it was hard to deny him anything.

I had my hair down today. It wasn't ideal, especially since I wanted to be on my guard for when Robert finally crawled out from the shadows. Still, it definitely helped to avoid more awkward questions. At the very least, a fight with Robert wouldn't be very combat-heavy. My mind would be the one on defense.

The girls decided to head back to the slopes to meet up with Mason and Christian. On the way, Lissa peppered me with questions. I couldn't answer most of them, but she didn't seem to mind.

"Do I get another cat? You know I love cats."

Oh, yeah. I knew. "Lissa, it's been years and I still get nightmares about the time I woke up and found Oscar on my face and-"

"And batting his claws at a dead rat," finished my past self, shuddering with me in what seemed like a tentative effort towards a truce.

She had being pretty quiet so far and I knew she was just trying to come to grips with her new reality. I doubted that she'd liked me before realizing she was me, and that was a therapy-worthy fact which I knew neither of us had time to work through. I might've been a little hard on her about Mason yesterday. Yes, her actions...my actions had led to his death. But there was nothing any of us could do about that. If anything, she should've been spending as much time with him as she could before it was too late.

"Well, we did figure out we had a rat problem," Lissa offered. "Christian's more of a dog person, but I think I can convert him."

Past-me made a stop motion with her palm. "Sparky's not getting a dog on my watch. They're loud, obnoxious, slobber machines."

That perked Lissa up, "So that's a yes to our feline friend?"

I laughed, "Sorry to say, but you don't have pets, Lissa. They're a bit hard to manage for you since you're always so busy with…"

I stopped myself. I'd been about to say with those Queenly duties. It was just so easy to talk with her. I had to keep reminding myself that this wasn't my best friend. That none of the people I met here were the same versions that I knew.

"Well, your job's just a little demanding." I finished lamely.

Lissa looked like she was definitely interested in what I meant by that, but Past-me had another question in mind.

"So you're just going to hang around us all break?"

I jumped right in at the distraction, "As much as I can be, at least until I can track down Robert."

"And how are you going to do that?"

Honestly, I didn't have much. Obviously, I could wait Robert out. He would come after his intended victims eventually, and odds were that my younger self would be the first (maybe even only) one. But the idea of waiting around, offering him the control, left me feeling antsy.

"Watch you guys," I replied, probably sounding more confident than I was, "keep an eye out for any signs that compulsion is been used around the lodge. It's all I can do until he shows himself again."

"But why me? Why us?" asked Jill, her voice timid. This must've been so strange for her. She didn't know any of us, except maybe by our reputations which had to be pretty intimidating. She had no idea she was standing next to her half sister.

Past-me nodded, "Yeah, why is Lissa not in danger? I mean, don't get me wrong. I'm happy. But she's the last Dragomir. She's a bit higher on the food chain than the rest of us."

"Robert's crazy," I reassured them as nonchalantly as I could manage. "It's best for you guys not to worry about it too much. The first time he met the three of us, we were all together. Got a bad impression."

"Wait, so you know me in the future?" Jill asked.

I smiled, glad to move on. "Yeah Jill. We're friends."

"Friends…" she looked up into the starry sky, "Wow. I'm friends with Rose Hathaway."

"Is that...a big deal?" asked Past-me, baffled.

"Of course! Do you know the stories they say about you? Both of you?" she gushed.

The conversation shifted into safer topics after that. The three changed into their ski gear and met up with the boys. Before they headed up, Past-Rose pulled me aside.

"I messed up," she lamented.

We stood in a quiet little alcove by the snack station. It was far too crowded and loud for the others to overhear anything from where they were across the room. My past self fidgeted with her coat. Clearly, this had been eating her up for a while now.

"What did you do?" I asked.

"Earlier, I got into a fight with Dimitri."

"Yeah, I know that."

Her shoulders slumped. "Right. Because you remember."

"No, actually I think this is new. Dimitri told me."

"Oh." She looked away. "How...how much did he tell you?"

"Just that you ran off afterwards. Why? Did you insult one of his dusty old CD collections?"

She shook her head fervently. My efforts at joking apparently didn't work on myself. The truth was, I knew what that fight had probably been about, and I knew what I said to Dimitri on the plane was probably the cause of it.

"Then what was it?"

"Well, I pretty much accused Dimitri of having you as his side ho."

Good God. "You told him what?"

"We were talking, and I was annoyed because I knew he was lying about you. And I just could stop thinking about...Tasha…"

Could I facepalm for her? Because I really wanted to. Yeah, I knew what she was feeling. I'd been there. But I also knew some of the things that Tasha would do in the future - actions that accumulated into her eventual execution and my almost-murder. The fact that I could be civil around Tasha with that knowledge in mind just proved it was doable for my younger self. Especially when her Tasha-adjacent issue paled in comparison to assassinations and frame jobs. I might've wanted to blow my brains out for her during yesterday's brunch, but I'd kept my cool. Past-me didn't even know if Dimitri actually accepted her proposal.

"Why would you even...You know what? Nevermind. Just apologize."

She looked away stubbornly. "No, I don't want to talk to him right now."

I raised my hands in defeat. "Then why does any of this matter?"

"I'm still pissed at him, but that part's just weird now considering…" She gestured between us. "And well...you're me. Couldn't you just apologize for me?"

She looked like she thought she was so clever. And usually we were. Just not here. I swore, by the end of this mission, I'd need to write tons of apology letters to everyone I knew for having to deal with me all these years.

Cheekiness aside, I knew nothing would get resolved if I didn't do something. And as much as I didn't want to admit it, this additional fight was kind of my fault...this version of me's fault. Whatever.

"Alright," I said, "I'll talk to him. Later. About how the two of you need to talk. That's it."

She huffed, but thankfully knew how to pick and choose her battles. She wasn't going to get a better deal. So she agreed to the terms - without saying thank you, mind you, because apparently I'm ungrateful as well as presumptuous - and ran off to join our friends.

I watched them from a distance for a while. As the day wore on, Mason and my past self's technique became more and more reckless, just like I remembered. It was actually a lot of fun to watch, even though a part of me wished I could be up there with them, goofing off with Mason like I used to. Before long, they'd probably start up their skiing contest. Mason would sprain his ankle, an instructor would come by and chastise them, and they'd head inside for the day.

Except...that's not what happened. Instead, there was an explosion.


	9. Chapter 9

CHAPTER NINE - ROSE

Well, I say explosion. It was actually more like of a burst of pent up energy. Clouds of thick snow rose up from several of the moguls closest to the tree line, as if a water user had suddenly decided to make several of the watery equivalents to firecrackers go off at once. It was a sharp blast, sending what felt like a shockwave through the range. Massive amounts of snow came raining down and the ski lift swayed dangerously.

Pandemonium ensued. Distracted skiers slammed into trees and hills while others swerved into each other, trying to get away from the danger. A few were actually blown backwards in the blast, but most were getting up or at least twitching, which seemed like a good sign.

Nearby guardians and instructions were already breaking into action - cordoning off the area, making calls, and restoring order.

I immediately sought out my charges. Lissa, Jill, Christian, and Mason were all unharmed, but my past self - who had been performing a pretty ambitious stunt - had taken a nasty fall.

I told the other four to stay put and went after her. She was sitting on a small bench with Stan and Yuri, who I'd noticed were two of the first ones at the scene. Stan had come running from the forest, probably from patrol, and Yuri from the building with the snacks.

Stan had an ice pack on Past-me's ankle and seemed to be taking stock of the damage.

They acknowledged me silently as I approached.

"It doesn't make any sense," Yuri was saying, "I heard that the lodge guardians went over this place with a fine-toothed comb to ensure the students safety upon arrival."

Stan sighed, "I don't know what it could've been either. Let's just be glad no one was seriously hurt."

Past-me's eyes glazed over a little in the tell-tale sign that she was in her bondmates head. She shook herself out of it and turned to Stan.

"Can I go now? Lissa's worried."

Stan got up and gave her the go ahead. "It's just a sprain," he said, tucking the ice pack back into his coat pocket, which I thought was pretty weird. Wouldn't it melt?

Past-me didn't waste time questioning, but she listened when I told her that she and the others should wait for me.

As she left, Yuri gave a shifty-eyed glance around us. "Did this happen where you're from?" he stage whispered, like the three of us hadn't already had an hour long conversation with the others about where I was from.

Then again, maybe I couldn't afford to be snarky. Because, well...

"No. It didn't."

In the end, no one could figure out what it was. There was no evidence that any sort of tampering had happened, though I didn't even know what they thought could tamper with a ski range. The only theory anyone had was that some Moroi water user has decided it would be fun to play with their magic. I wondered a little about Mia. At this point, she hated me and Lissa. But it still didn't make any sense. She hadn't done anything like this the first time.

Was it me? Had the changes I'd already done to time somehow resulted in this? I didn't see how. I thought I'd been pretty careful. But if it was me, would I even be able to fix it if I ever found my totem? I thought back to the way things were originally supposed to go. I didn't think this would impact the rest of the trip too much. People would talk, and Past-me would have a sprained ankle instead of Mason, but none of it was that significant. Right?

Stan offered to keep an eye on my past self and the others so that I could look into whether the explosion had anything to do with Robert.

I thanked him but told him it was unnecessary. If Robert was close, he'd still want to come after the girls. They might still be in danger, and honestly they were my best bet right now of catching him. Instead, I told Stan and Yuri to take a look around. I'd question them later in case they'd been compelled.

We took it easy for the rest of the day with my past self's injury. Jill, Lissa, and Past Rose were definitely still curious about me, but they didn't dare ask me any more questions with the boys around. I'd been pretty adamant that the time travel news not spread further than we'd already allowed it, and Alberta had enforced that with threats of limited leisure time and house arrests for the girls.

Christian and Mason of course wondered what I was doing there, but we fed them some story about the academy taking extra measures to protect Lissa.

For the first time in a long while, I was taking on the role of the 'better seen than heard' guardian. I didn't like it very much. For one, it was incredibly weird with all of my almost-not-quite friends nearby. But alongside that, back home even as the Queen's guardian, people knew better than to expect me to sit down and shut up. Here, I had no choice if I wanted a home to go back to.

At one point, Jill asked if she could leave to hang out with some of her friends.

"You have to stay close by Lissa," I told her lowly, putting a little distance between us and the boys who were trying to tell Lissa about a new robot movie that had recently come out. "It's for your own safety. Maybe tomorrow, the three of you could make some time to meet up with them."

My past self groaned on Jill's behalf. "God, you're such a killjoy. You're just like Dimitri."

I laughed at her horrified expression.

Eventually, curfew led them back to their rooms. Since I wasn't on the official guardian roster, Alberta was able to pull some strings to get me a room nearby the girls.

The space was about as luxurious as I remembered. It was a single instead of the double I'd had with Lissa the first time around. I had a king-sized bed, covered in feather duvets and set with so many pillows that I still swore a person could get lost in them all and never be seen again. French doors opened on to a spacious balcony and the room left me equipped with my own personal hot tub, plasma screen TV, and mini fridge. Rich reds, blacks, and golds lined the walls and furniture. It was significantly larger than the first apartment Dimitri and I had shared back at Court, before we'd upgraded to accommodate the third little Belikov, and the decor definitely exceeded our pay grade.

Feeling mentally drained, I didn't bother with further investigation of my new accommodations. I just spread out on the soft bed and fell into a deep sleep.

When I opened my eyes, I could tell immediately that I was in a spirit dream. It had the sort of real-not real quality that I'd become very used to over the years.

Expecting Adrian, I searched deep into my repertoire of witty one liners to combat his natural twenty-one year old Adrian-ness.

Except taking in my surroundings, I noticed I wasn't where I thought I'd be. I was standing in the middle of a spacious library that I remembered well from long nights of studying at Lehigh University.

From beyond the central study area, which boasted a few cushioned chairs placed evenly around a green patterned carpet, I saw the familiar thin pillars circling around me and leading up into a domed glass ceiling. Three stories of mahogany bookcases lined the walls of the massive room, which somehow always managed to still seem cozy while also making you feel super sophisticated. It always reminded me a little of the church back at St. Vladimir's. Lissa had loved it, and I'd loved seeing her happy. Even if political science reports had almost been the death of me.

It was also one of Lissa's preferred dream-walk locations. Finally, I spotted her in the corner of my eye in one of her old college sweaters. I spun around and saw that she wasn't alone. Sydney sat beside her in a cushioned seat, legs crossed and impeccably dressed as always. She'd never visited the school in person, but for the longest time, I'd had a sneaking suspicion that she'd fit right into the sort of British museum atmosphere it had going for it. I was right.

They greeted me. I whooped in delight and hugged them both in return.

"But...how is this even possible?" I asked them.

"It's the same principle that sent you back in time really," Sydney explained, "Witch magic augmenting spirit. It takes less energy, but we can't maintain it for too long."

"And we wanted to see how you were doing," said Lissa, grasping my hands, "What's it like back there?"

I offered a crooked smile. "Oh you know, just your average trip through the time vortex. It's been pretty trippy seeing all of our baby-faces, but nothing I can't handle."

Lissa moaned, "I wish I could've gone with you."

"Don't worry about a thing, Liss. You've got to stick to running our entire world. Leave the saving it to me."

"Just be careful, Rose," said Sydney. "We still don't know how Robert made it back in time. We don't know what he's capable of."

I'd been thinking about that for a while now. It didn't seem too unlikely that Robert came back through the same means that I did - found a witch who was willing to help him and then had them figure out the spell. Sydney had only written off the idea because the time travel spell she'd developed came from some kind of destiny reading magic technique which was exclusive to the Stelle - her badass witch coven. They had actually been the ones to divine that someone was interfering in the past in the first place. Still, I'd seen crazier things than the odd coincidence. And if Robert had a totem as well, maybe I could use it to get back home.

Another thing that bothered me was the attack in the cafeteria. I may have broken his concentration, but Robert had been owning that fight. All of the guardians in the room were completely debilitated. I had no doubt that if he'd seen me coming, he wouldn't have been so quick to retreat. But how could he have amassed that much power to begin with?

"Sydney...I know what you said, but if Robert really does have a witch on his side, would it be possible for that magic to enhance spirit in other ways?"

Lissa pursed her lips. "What, you mean like make us more powerful?"

"Exactly."

Sydney thought about it. "It is possible. Maybe. I'll have to look into it further with Mrs. Terwilliger." She meant Jackie, her witchy former mentor and current coven-mate. Sydney first met her while undercover at a high school in Palm Springs. For some reason for Sydney at least, the old teaching moniker seemed to stick.

"But even if he used witches magic to get sent back in time," she added, "it's still just a one person trip. He wouldn't have access to that kind of power anymore. Well, unless he had some kind of external charm."

There was an idea. If Robert really had been the cause of the explosion earlier, witchy charm enhanced spirit seemed like a pretty good bet as to how he'd done it. I almost hoped that this had been just another failed attempt at Past-me's life and not some domino-butterfly effect scheme. That was, if it wasn't my fault. And it absolutely wasn't.

Still, I had to ask. "And hey, you guys haven't noticed any changes in your um, crystal balls, have you? Or things that could lead to something bigger down the line?"

Sydney quirked an eyebrow, "You mean has there been a sign of major ripples in the time stream? No, why? Have you noticed anything different?"

"Um…" I swung my arms back and forth in a long pause. "Nah...I'm sure it's nothing. Let's talk about better things." I forced a smile. "How is everything back home?"

Sydney cast me a look of concern, but let it be when Lissa leaned forward.

"Well actually," she said, grinning, "There are some other people who want to say hello to you."

With a wave of her hand, the double doors at the entryway swung open and in walked the love of my life. He looked as gorgeous as always, still duster-clad with his hair in a short ponytail, but it was deeply refreshing in his post-twenties glory. Instead of fear and confusion, I saw unmasked love and adoration in his deep brown eyes. I knew I probably mirrored him.

"Dimitri," I breathed. It had only been three days, but I already missed him like crazy.

"Plus one, Roza," he said as a small little head poked out from behind his coat.

"Momma!"

I didn't think it was possible to smile any wider, but I managed it as Anton came barreling into me.

"Hey there, baby."

He scrunched up his nose. "I'm not a baby. Declan says six is practically seven already. And seven is basically eight."

I laughed and stepped into Dimitri's warm embrace as he came forward. He kissed me on the forehead and gently stroked my hair. I barely heard as Lissa told us, "We'll give you some time alone," before her and Sydney quietly stepped outside.

Anton craned his neck up as far as it would go, trying to examine the glistening stained glass above us.

Laying a hand over Dimitri's heart, I looked up at him and whispered, "Have there been any more protests?"

I was of course referring to the other problem that Robert had caused us. His efforts to incite panic and fear in select groups about the children of restored Strigoi were alarmingly effective. Anton wasn't the only one of his kind out there (though due to our secrecy following young Declan's birth, he was widely believed to be the first). Strigoi reformations were rare, but they did happen, and many of those who'd been saved wanted to get on with their lives. Some were dhampir, some were Moroi. Robert's rallying cry was bizarrely indiscriminate. Recently, his supporters had become more vocal, organizing rallies and sending death threats aimed at kids.

"No. It's been quiet. Don't worry, Roza. He's safe," he soothed.

We both watched as Anton wandered over to one of the book shelves, caught up in his own world. He stared intently at the nearest shelf for a good minute before tentatively reaching out to grab one of the covers. I was surprised since despite Dimitri's desperate attempts to convert him, Anton was very much a cartoon kid - thankfully not of the western variety. I'd taught him well.

To be fair, it didn't seem like he wanted to read the book so much as he was afraid it was going to eat him.

"What've you got over there?" I asked, my voice echoing across the empty library.

He scurried over with the book - a little man on a mission. Plunking onto the floor, he looked down as he flipped it open to a random page. "Aunt Lissa says that she makes up her dreams. But did she make up all the stories too? What about the sun? Are there squirrels? No way it goes on forever."

I couldn't believe I'd forgotten. This would be the first time anyone ever pulled Anton into a spirit dream. A large parent-ish part of me kind of wanted to commemorate the occasion, but I didn't think we had a lot of time left. I wished this had happened under better circumstances.

Dimitri knelt down beside him. "Hmm, maybe not. But it goes on as much as we need it to." He placed his index finger on the book, which did have writing inside, to illustrate his point.

"But how does she know that we need it?"

"Sometimes she doesn't." I told him, "Aunt Lissa's dreams take care of some things for her. It comes from her memories."

I mussed up Anton's hair, but he predictability stayed on topic. "She can't remember everything at once."

"No," said Dimitri, "But you don't see everything at once either."

"So it's not there when you look away?"

"Is it?"

Anton glared at his father. I refrained from giggling. Dimitri's zen life lessons had a way of frustrating the best of us.

Our son pouted. "That's not right. You can't just get rid of one thing to keep another. What if it's important?"

"That's just how it is Anton," I explained, "it's only a dream."

He frowned.

Dimitri looked up at me as a thought seemed to cross his mind. "Please tell me this is the first dream walk you've had since going to the past."

I smirked and covered Anton's ears despite his protests. "Why, Comrade? Are you afraid our young Uncle Adrian's going to try and put the moves on me?"

"I'm asking for him actually. Last time I spoke to him, he seemed more worried than the both of us combined."

I cracked up and Anton scooted away from me. This was nice. For the first time in almost seventy-two hours, I felt peaceful. Serene. I hadn't realized just how much

being around people who I knew, but who were in some ways strangers again, had set me on edge. I couldn't wait for this all to be over. To be back with my family for real instead of just in a dream.

Anton knocked on the hardwood flooring as if checking for imperfections. "Aunt Lissa also says you're on a top secret mission."

My throat closed up. "That's right. But I'll be home soon. I promise."

I really hoped I was telling him the truth.


	10. Chapter 10

CHAPTER TEN - DIMITRI

Ivashkov was exactly what I'd imagined. A dick. I'd been trapped with the man for over twenty four hours now and I didn't think I'd ever met someone more grating. Take this morning on patrol.

We were walking through a small outcropping of the woodland which stretched to the edge of the lodge's property. Security was still antsy after yesterday's freak accident by the ski range and some guardian shifts had been reallocated to the area as a precautionary measure.

Adrian was wacking a thin stick back and forth at every tree we passed. I tried my best to ignore him, but he made it very difficult.

"So what's the deal with you and Rose? Are you the boyfriend? Had a lover's spat?"

I flinched. If I wasn't already upset about how I'd ended things with her, the reminder wouldn't have been helping.

"No," I said, looking straight ahead, "it's not like that. I'm her mentor."

He scrutinized me before suddenly tossing his stick into the air, letting it flip around and grasping at the base as it came down.

"Ah, right. I get it. So is it like a mentor with benefits kind of deal? Because I'd be totally up for her to teach me some moves."

"Stay away from her," I growled, quickening my pace.

Adrian rushed to keep up with my longer stride, raising his hands in a placating manner. "Easy, easy. Don't worry about me, Cradle Robber. At least I don't judge. Judgement is a fool's game and only the worst gamblers play it."

I had no idea what to make of that, but this wasn't the first time he'd said something off. The other night, we'd spent the majority of my free time at one of the many royal bars here. Adrian apparently didn't do work and could only go on so long pretending he had a job. According to him, he was already sacrificing so much to protect me and I looked like I needed to live a little.

Anyway, he had said plenty of strange things - at least until he'd gotten a few drinks in. Then he was just drunk. He seemed to get a kick out of egging me on and I was quickly learning that the best way to handle him was to not let him get to me. So I took a deep breath and donned a guardian mask until we descended into sweet silence.

It lasted about five minutes before I started considering what he'd originally asked me. "What did you even mean by me being the boyfriend?"

"Well she told me she has one. Funny, I'd think you'd know, being her mentor and all."

My thoughts immediately went to Mason.

"Not to worry though." He puffed up his chest. "I'm sure whoever he is, he'll be no match for me when I sweep her off her feet."

I scowled at him in a way that usually had even the most seasoned guardians backing off. Adrian remained unaffected.

"I think she likes me already," he continued, "way more than you at the moment anyway, I'd wager. Pretty soon we'll be eloping. What do you think? Vegas wedding? Or is that too tacky? You can come if you want, but try not to ogle the bride's goods too hard or people might start to talk."

"You're disgusting."

He grinned. "Oh, something tells me you're not as honorable as you like to think. But hey, there's two of them so if you want dibs, who's off limits? The teenager or the cougar?"

I decided not to grace that with a response.

I made an effort to avoid spiraling into thinking about what Roza said to me yesterday, or what I said to her. In fact, Adrian's comments aside, I tried very hard not to think about her at all. It was time to move on with my life. She very clearly was. To do that, I had to seriously consider my options. That was why, when Tasha ran into us during my first break of the day, I jumped at her invitation to grab lunch with me.

"Sounds great!" Adrian chirped up from behind us like an annoying insect. "Ooh, can I bring Rose? It could be like a double date! I bet that'll be fun. Eh, Belikov?"

I glared. "Only if you want Princess Vasilisa and Jillian to come along too."

Tasha blinked. "Oh...Adrian, right? I was actually thinking it could be more, well, just Dimitri and me."

Crap. I'd completely forgotten that Tasha couldn't know about my current predicament or the reasons why Adrian had to stay by my side. At a loss for words, I was reluctantly grateful when he stepped up.

"Of course, of course. Except, you see, Dimitri here bet me that I couldn't stand a week out there doing what our dedicated guardians do day in and day out. I had to defend my honor. So for the next few days, I'll be sticking to our favorite Russian over here like glue, doing what he does, seeing what he sees," he wrapped one arm over my shoulder. If he wasn't a royal Moroi, I might've been tempted to jerk him off of me and send him careening across the room. I still kind of was.

She turned to me disbelievingly. "And you're okay with this."

I faked a smile and nodded.

Adrian did the same a little more enthusiastically, "Yeah, it's mostly of his own free will. Like eighty percent."

That was actually fairly accurate.

Tasha laughed, finding his antics amusing somehow. "Alright, well would your bet allow us to sit a little ways apart from you? Just for some privacy."

Adrian put a finger to his chin and acted like he was thinking very carefully. "I don't see why not," he said.

A few hours later, Tasha and I were settled into a booth at one of the many little restaurants peppered throughout the lodge, creatively named The Ice Cap Cafe. Adrian sat a few tables down making flirty eyes at the waitresses. With his enhanced Moroi hearing, odds were he was probably still close enough to eavesdrop on anything we said, but Tasha didn't seem to notice or mind.

Eventually, I was able to relax a little. We laughed and joked about old times. In a surprising twist, Ivan even came up. Tasha liked to say that he would be rolling around in his grave if he could somehow know that I was still wearing the duster he'd gotten me. It was a gag gift for my twenty-first birthday. Much like Rose, he'd taken a lot of pleasure in making fun of my passion for old westerns. The present might've been in jest, but I'd always secretly loved it. Nowadays, I wore the coat in remembrance.

Soon, we got to catching each other up on what we'd done since arriving at the lodge. I avoided my Adrian troubles as much as possible and focused more on the standard routine of guardian work. She told me about the impromptu practice session she hosted earlier this morning.

"Christian's doing well. He's a bit too enthusiastic though. If he doesn't learn some restraint, he'll burn himself out way too fast in a real fight. Pun intended."

I sent her a half smile.

"And by fight, I assume you mean something completely legal and not at all related to any unauthorized offensive magic practices with a minor?" Despite the subject matter, my tone was playful and light.

"Oh hush, Dimka. You and I both know you'd be there offering up pointers if you could manage. I swear, it's a wonder that you never considered this instructor thing earlier. You're a natural."

It was a nice sentiment but the truth was, Tasha was a force all on her own. She didn't need me to help and teach anyone. There was more at stake here than just a curious nephew, and she knew it. Tasha wanted more than anything for Moroi politics to catch up with the times. In light of the recent attacks and the limited guardian numbers, she felt that the use of magic in combat was the only solution. With her determination, she'd probably train a whole army of Moroi to prove her point.

"I'm sure the students appreciated your help," I told her. She'd mentioned that some of Christian's friends had been there and I imagined that even those who couldn't perform with fire magic had found the session quite enlightening.

Tasha fiddled with a ring on her right hand. "Well...I wasn't the only one giving out lessons. Joanne had a thing or two to share."

I felt myself tense a little at yet another mention of Rose today, even if it was her future self and not technically the one I was fighting with. I wondered if that even made a difference. Had Older Rose already experienced the same thing, except years into the past? Did that mean my conflict was with both of them?

"What was she teaching them?" I asked, leaning forwards.

"Actually, she was just helping Lissa."

She shrugged at the look I gave her. To my knowledge, Vasilisa never expressed an interest in combat lessons before.

"Apparently, Joanne has a history with some people who had an incredible grip on compulsion," she went on. "Since Lissa's a spirit user, she offered to explain how she might be able to shield herself and others from compulsion more effectively."

From Robert, of course.

To the side, I heard a loud hacking and saw that Adrian choked on his drink a little. After determining that he was okay, I focused my attention back on Tasha.

"Was she a good teacher?" I found myself asking. I was having a hard time picturing Rose in the role.

"Yes, she was fine," Tasha answered distractedly, the sides of her lips curling down. She looked forlorn, like she'd just been offered a piece of unwelcome - but not entirely unexpected - news.

She took a deep breath and interlocked her fingers on the table. "Dimitri…I want you to know that it's okay if you like her. You can tell me."

I felt my mouth open a little at the unexpected turn.

"I know that we haven't exactly spent a lot of time together in recent years. If you've found someone else, I get it. I do. You don't need to hide anything. My offer might've been a little too presumptuous. If I'm too late…"

I couldn't believe the irony. She assumed I was in love with Joanne just like Younger Rose had thought. Was I really that transparent? Or maybe it was just because they happened to be two of the only women in my life who were close enough to me to notice this sort of thing. It also struck me how well Tasha was taking the possibility. This was clearly difficult for her, but she remained calm and collected. Understanding even. It was a stark contrast to Rose's accusations.

"Tasha, no."

I knew I had to set things straight. I reached over and rested my palm over her cool hands. "Joanne and I do have a history," I said, looking deeply into her pale blue eyes and trying to be as honest as I could manage, "but nothing came of it. I know I've been...standoffish lately, but I think I'm almost ready to take the next step."

"You are?" she asked, eyes wide with tentative hope.

Yes, I was. Tasha was the right choice for myself and for Rose. She didn't deserve to be left in the dark for so long. And maybe in freeing Rose from her tether to me, I'd eventually do away with some of that resentment I'd seen coming from her. She'd be hurt at first. God knew I was still petrified of losing her. But I had to hope that my previously comfortable interactions with Older Rose were an indication that it would all somehow work out.

And yet in that moment, standing at this great precipice, I couldn't help but cling to that small piece of me that wished things could be different.

I squeezed Tasha's clasped hands.

"Soon," I replied. "I will be ready soon."


	11. Chapter 11

CHAPTER ELEVEN - DIMITRI

Later that day, I rested in a quiet lounge area and tried to read a chapter from my long-neglected book. Every few minutes though, I shifted in my seat and had to reread a page or two. My mind was far too chaotic at the moment to concentrate on even Louis L'Amour. On the verge of giving up, I scrunched up my nose at the cloying scent of smoke that wafted from Adrian as he took a long drag from his cigarette. I sent him another disapproving look. Terrible habit.

"I'm sure they have a policy about smoking indoors," I told him.

He was sprawled out onto an antique couch on the other side of the room. He might've been finally starting to realize just how unpleasant guardian work could be sometimes. You had to follow your charge around everywhere, even if you were bored or didn't like it. When my third break of the day had finally rolled around, I'd decided that I had enough of his nonsense and I'd ignored any and all of his attempts to steer us towards the lodge's prolific party scene.

He sent me a dour look.

"Well since we're best buddies now, I'll let you in on a secret. It takes the edge off the, you know." He made a swirling motion by his head.

Right. Spirit. Even though it was the whole reason we'd been forced into this unwelcome pairing, I couldn't picture Adrian as having any of the spectacular abilities which Older Rose spoke about. I could barely imagine him having the attention span to heal a small scrape. Even so, what he was talking about at the moment had more to do with some of Spirit's less beneficial side effects.

"The depression." I stated. Surely there had to be better ways to cope. The princess had been taking medication up until the day before the trip. Alberta authorized permission for her to be taken off of it in preparation for Older Rose's plan. While the pills appeared to limit her abilities, they had shown promise in fulfilling their intended purpose.

"Wait, what?" he asked, taken aback, "No. No. I don't get that."

"You don't?" Then what did he mean?

"Nope," he replied, leaning back and crossing his arms behind his head like he was trying extra hard to appear nonchalant. "My head gets all...fuzzy, that's all. Like I'm in a dream and anything's possible. Didn't even know that there was a reason for it until Rose and Lissa started explaining things, but I've always known this kind of stuff…drinking, smoking…pushes away the fogs. Helps me think clearer."

Well, that was certainly different. And when did he even find the time to ask Rose or the princess about any of this? I'd been with him constantly for almost two days straight.

"Drugs and alcohol help you to think more clearly?" I asked instead, picking out yet another issue with what he was telling me.

"Hey, I don't go on about your questionable life choices. No need to pounce on mine."

"What are you talking about?"

He sat up. "You and Tasha, obviously."

My hackles rose. "What about us?"

"You're into Rose. That's clear as day, trust me. So you're trying to get with this other chick so you can move on and forget her, but it's not going to work. Rose is...something special," he stared off into the distance in a dreamy way I really didn't like. "I mean, you can try all you want. At least it'll free up some of the competition."

"What makes you even think she'd want anything do with you?"

I shouldn't have been humoring him. He was just trying to rile me up. I knew how I felt about Tasha. If I accepted her offer, I wouldn't just be using her to get Rose out of my head. Tasha and I were close. It might not be the same as what Rose and I had, but it could be enough. Besides, what right did I have to tell Adrian what Rose wanted? Still, despite all of that, he had this uncanny ability to get under my skin and he knew it.

Smirking, he answered, "Like I said, she likes me. I can tell. It may not be a burning passion yet, but just you wait." He looked up at the ceiling and tilted his head to the side. "Then again, we might not have to with 'Joanne' around."

He didn't need to remind me about that. God, he was so infuriating.

All of a sudden, Adrian jumped up from his seat, enlivened. "We should find her. The older Her I mean."

"Why?" I asked slowly.

"Well, I couldn't help but overhear you and Tasha at lunch today…"

"I know," I said, "You weren't very subtle."

He ignored me. "And I heard how Lissa's getting special spirit lessons on the side. Now as your designated protector, it only seems fair that I get those too. So I can better...protect you."

"And so you can learn how to move things with your mind." I deadpanned.

He tapped at his nose. "You get it. Plus, who knows what kinds of future secrets we could uncover!"

It was mildly worrisome that his thoughts aligned with my own on that. Still, finding Older Rose might be a good idea. I hadn't gotten the chance to speak with her in private since the plane. Maybe that was what was holding me back. If I could get the answers I was looking for…it could end up being the closure that I needed to start this new chapter of my life with Tasha.

I gave the okay and Adrian practically strutted out of the lounge. We asked around for a while. Guessing that she was likely with Vasilisa and the other girls, we sought out the princess's location and discovered that she'd been at a Conta luncheon until recently. Apparently, there had been an accident and they had to clear out early.

"Huge fire in the kitchens," said Porter, one of the guardians who was at the scene. "No one could make sense of how it started though. It was nowhere near the stove. And I could've sworn, at first it felt less like fire and more like...just energy."

"And you have no idea where Princess Vasilisa and her friends might've gone?" I questioned.

He said he didn't, so we thanked him and moved on.

At last, we found Older Rose in the second floor gym. She was alone and making quick work of a dark grey punching bag - slamming her fists into it over and over at a steady, even pace. A thin sheen of sweat glistened on her forehead so I figured she must have been there for a while. She seemed completely in the zone, but as we entered the wide room, she stopped what she was doing at the sound of our echoing footsteps.

"Hey, Little Dhampir! As I live and breathe!" Adrian called out to her.

What was that, a pet name?

Take it in stride, Rose looked over her shoulder at us and grinned. "Thought I was Mrs. Guardian now, Ivashkov."

"And why can't you be both?" Adrian asked magnanimously.

"I guess I can be."

It occurred to me that this was the first time I was seeing them really talk to one another. Adrian may have boasted about his success in winning her over, but I'd been trying to convince myself that much of it was exaggerations and bravado. Rose was too smart to get involved with someone like Adrian Ivashkov. He'd been talking about Rose's younger self, but there was a strange sort of familiarity between these two. Adrian may have only known either version of Rose for less than two days, but he was acting like he'd known her for nearly as long as she'd clearly known him. He also kept on gazing at her with an odd kind of intensity. It wasn't quite flirting, but it was enough to make me uncomfortable.

"You're in a good mood," Adrian commented, "Though I guess the bar's pretty low. Yesterday you were all 'stalk my boyfriend or the planet will explode.'"

I sent him a scathing look at the jab, but Rose only laughed.

"I had a really good dream last night."

"Oh?" Adrian apparently got something I didn't, because after a moment, he waggled his eyebrows and said, "It wouldn't happen to have included a certain blonde princess getting special treatment, now would it?"

"What?" Rose asked, "No...why?"

I butted in. "Adrian wants you to help him learn to better control his magic."

"And how to go all Jean Grey on any time traveling ne'er-do-wells," Adrian added.

Rose raised her palms in a stop motion. "Whoa guys, I gave Lissa some pointers. That's it. She can already defend her own mind just fine, but I was helping her to understand how she can shield a friend or push someone else's compulsion away. It wasn't some combat magic session. We left that sort of thing to Christian."

"But you could teach me more if you wanted to," Adrian insisted.

"No, I can't," she said. "For one thing, I'm not a Spirit user. Half the time, I don't even understand this stuff. Besides, you're not supposed to know some of these skills for years."

For once, I could actually see Adrian's side of things. He might've not originally known of these abilities, but back then, he probably wouldn't have needed to.

"Except that involved an entirely different set of circumstances," I argued. "Right now, with a dangerous Spirit user on the loose, leaving him and the princess defenseless could put all of us in harm's way."

Adrian seemed just as surprised as me that I was actively taking his side, but he certainly wasn't complaining. "Yeah, what he said."

Rose looked between us, considering our words. Standing so close to her now, I couldn't help but appreciate how truly beautiful she was. The way even the bright unnatural lights of the gym made her hair look vibrant and alive. How her wild brown eyes invited you in as she worked through a difficult problem. Her face may have thinned out with harder, more defined edges than the seventeen year old girl I knew, but the plain workout clothes she was wearing and the reminder of countless weeks spent in training together still managed to set my body in flames.

Her countenance, so much like my Rose's but perhaps a little more disciplined, told me that this decision was a struggle for her. She wasn't sure what the right answer really was.

Eventually, she sighed. "Alright. Let's get started."


	12. Chapter 12

CHAPTER TWELVE - DIMITRI

Much to Adrian's disappointment, Rose started off with what she'd taught Vasilisa. I ended up learning a lot about Spirit users myself through listening to it all. Compulsion came naturally to them and as long as they were vigilant, it was fairly easy for them to break free from similar mental attacks. Shielding others was apparently more tricky.

"Breaking the compeller's eye contact with the victim should be the first step, but if that's not possible, you need to combat the orders with your own compulsion," she explained. "If the other Spirit user tells his victim to run, you make them stand still. If he says left, you say right. If it's a spider hallucination, I don't know, make them think about puppies or donuts or something. The goal is to muddle the order. You need to bring them back to themselves however you can. It's easier when the original directive's been forgotten."

One other thing I discovered was this: Rose was a good teacher. She used different methods than me of course. Where she was strict, I might've been patient. Where she was blunt and down to earth, I might've been more traditional. But even for a short session like this, she was effective.

She offered a few tips here and there. At her insistence that laying off the smoking and drinking would help increase Spirit's intensity, Adrian scoffed.

When we got around to some of the more...exciting lessons, I was gifted with the role of test dummy -something that Adrian and Rose both took great pleasure in. Thankfully, Rose decided that telekinesis practice, at least, was best left for inanimate objects. Needless to say, the gym was quickly strewn about with exercise equipment and other random clutter.

Adrian also had lots of questions. Some left me feeling similarly curious.

"What about the things I already know how to do? Like...are there advanced dreamwalking techniques or anything?"

Rose thought about it. "I wouldn't say that. Your approach to those has always been kinda perfect, but there's definitely a lot you don't know about it yet. You've got more control of the dreams than you'd think. But that wouldn't exactly be helpful in defending against Robert, now would it?" She said knowingly, clearly onto his game.

Adrian groaned.

"Dreamwalking," I said, catching Rose's attention. "You mentioned that before. What is it?"

Some hidden message seemed to pass between them. This wasn't the first time it had happened, and it was starting to really bother me. Was there really so much that she could share with Adrian and not me?

"Do we have to tell him?" Adrian nearly whined, "I was so ready to prank him tonight."

She took a double take and put her hands on her hips. "Is that what you do? You mess with people who don't know?"

"Possibly."

"Oh God, did you do that to him the first time around too?"

"What are you two talking about?" I asked, a little impatiently.

Rose shook off her disbelief. "Spirit users can enter other people's dreams and talk to them. It's sort of like a FaceTime call, just without the screen. Do you guys have FaceTime yet?"

At our blank looks, she emended herself.

"Okay, what about Skype? You've got Skype, right?"

I nodded.

"It's like that."

So Adrian could talk to people in their sleep? It suddenly made a lot more sense how he seemed to know so much more than he should have. Had he spoken to Rose's younger self last night? Was that why he was acting like he knew her so well all of a sudden?

Rose ended up answering that question for me. "Difference is, you can't press decline. I first started getting them here, and man, I used to hate it."

Adrian gasped in mock hurt. "I'm just offering little-you some company on these cold winter nights. Speaking of which, I've been meaning to ask, why aren't you with her and the rest of the gang right now?"

"Yuri should be looking after them," she said. "I've been checking out some other things today, making sure Robert hasn't broken through our defenses. This was supposed to be my break."

She didn't sound very worried, all things considered. I was a little surprised.

"Have you heard about the fire?" I asked her. True, no one had been hurt, but Rose wasn't one to slack off when it mattered. I'd have thought she'd at least want to check on the princess.

She immediately became battle-ready. "What fire?"

So maybe she hadn't heard. I explained what had happened and watched as she grew more and more alarmed. It got worse once I told her that her past self was there as well. I didn't really understand her response since I was quick to assure her that everyone was okay. But I knew it had to be something pretty bad to get her so worked up. I wished I could help her somehow. I would charge into battle right here and now by her side if that's what she wanted. If she would only let me in.

"What's wrong, Roza?"

"Nothing. It's fine."

Adrian was observing her carefully as well, lost in some kind of trance.

Snapping out of it, he waved his hand in her direction. "Okay, seriously. What's up with your aura?"

Startled at the change in topic, she looked up at him. "What?"

"Your aura. A minute ago, it was this content, normal reddish. Now it's changed shades because you're upset."

"Yeah, that's what auras do."

I was lost. Auras?

Seeing my confusion, Rose quickly explained, though she still seemed flustered herself. "Spirit users can sometimes see these lights around people that tell them things about our emotions and personalities. Auras. Mine's normally red."

"Yeah," said Adrian, "except it's not. Or...it hasn't always been. Every time I see younger-you, her aura's pitch black. I've never seen anything like it. And now here you are, with your aura all cleared up and acting normal. What's the deal? Is she sick or something?"

I didn't like the sound of that. I might've not understood much of this, and the idea that Adrian could somehow read my emotions was uncomfortable to say the least, but if he could see that Rose was in trouble…

Rose averted her eyes. "No, of course she's not.

I turned to Adrian. "What does a black aura even mean?"

"I don't know, but my money's on death."

Rose clenched her jaw. "Look, guys. I'm right here, aren't I? I'm fine. Things turned out fine. I don't have time for this. I need to check on my past self and the others."

She was deflecting. We all knew that. She knew that we knew it. So what was she hiding? And what did it mean for my Rose?

Adrian was surprisingly prepared. "Oh I texted them ages ago to meet us here. They'll be here soon," he said, taking out his phone and waving it in front of us.

"How?" asked Rose, "I know for a fact that Lissa and my past self don't have cell phones right now. Which is...wow, these really are the Stone Ages."

"Ah, but do you know who does have a cellphone? Jailbait. Her mom gave her one so that they could keep in contact during the trip."

Like he'd summoned them, I started to hear the telltale sound of teenage chatter coming from somewhere outside. It meant Rose no longer had a reason to leave, but it also put an early end to our conversation.

I noted that her shoulders slumped in relief as her younger self, Vasilisa, Jillian, Mason, Christian, Eddie, and Yuri all entered the gymnasium.

The princess expressed some interest in learning combat Spirit, though it was apparent from the start that her desire to learn was more out of worry for her friends than anything else. Everyone else mostly just wanted to watch, and we received assurances from Yuri that he'd keep this between us.

Rose didn't waste time and got back into the thick of her lesson. Like Adrian, she taught Vasilisa what was apparently basic telekinesis, but ended up having them train with each other more than anything. She claimed that learning from each other's skill sets would be beneficial. I thought she had a point, but wondered if this had more to do with what had been bothering her earlier.

I watched from the sidelines with the others, trying my best not to look in Younger Rose's direction. The one time I made that mistake, I saw that she'd done the same. We stared at each other for a long moment before she crossed her arms and looked away. Maybe I would just have to get used to avoiding her, I thought with a pang. She was obviously uncomfortable around me. Why should I make it worse?

Younger Rose actually got pulled into things when Adrian decided that he wanted to try his hand at healing. Unable to help myself, I looked down worriedly at her leg upon discovering that she'd recently sprained her ankle.

Adrian knelt beside her. I was surprised at how seriously he was taking it. He seemed to genuinely want it to work. He wanted to help her. After three failed attempted however, Older Rose had Vasilisa perform the healing.

"Don't feel bad, Adrian," she said. "It took...some people...a while to figure this out back where I'm from too."

As she spoke, some of her hair fell away from her neck, partially revealing her molnija marks to us again.

To my left, Eddie whistled and whispered to Mason, "Wow, you guys weren't kidding."

The whispers continued for a while and I started to notice some of the students sending furtive glances my way. I looked at Yuri who just shrugged as if to say kids, what are you gonna do?

When Older Rose decided to call it a day, it ending up being Jillian who tentatively stepped forward from among them.

"Rose!" she said before freezing up as younger Rose turned to her. I realized who Jillian had intended to address before she stuttered out her correction. "Um...I mean Joanne. We were all just thinking, I mean, wouldn't it be so awesome if we could see you fight? You've got so much experience. It would be, well…"

"Epic?" Mason interjected.

"Educational," said Christian.

"What, do you want me to teach you guys to fight now too?" she asked, "Sorry, I think that's more Dimitri's thing."

With everyone else having apparently gained their nerve, Eddie spoke up too. "Exactly. Guardian Belikov is highly skilled as well. Maybe you two could...I dunno...spar together? Like a demonstration!"

Younger Rose actually giggled a little, like the idea of me and her future self fighting amused her somehow.

Even though hearing her laugh again was a welcome change, I was already shaking my head. "Mr. Castile, I don't think that would be a good-"

"Okay," Older Rose cut in, sauntering up to me.

"Okay?" I asked her, taken aback.

She flexed her shoulders. "Yeah. I need to work off some steam anyway. Why not?"

Some of the students actually whooped.

"That's the spirit, Guardian Hathaway!" said Ashford.

Outnumbered, I gave in.

We cleared away some of the mess from Adrian's earlier training session and started circling each other on the matt. Our 'spectator's' were leaned up against the wall by a set of dumbbells. Those who knew about Rose's true identity watched us with some mixture of fascination and glee. The others looked about ready to start taking bets.

She sprang forward and it began. I parried her attack with an upper block and a backfist to her head, but she quickly retaliated. Now, I'd been in a lot of fights with Rose. When I began training her, she'd been all raw passion and untapped potential. As I worked with her, she became more disciplined - her skills, more refined. She was well on her way to becoming a great guardian someday. But this was something else.

She fought like a demon sent from Hell. Her every action was precise and deadly. Some of her moves may have been familiar and I could see echoes of my own lessons being thrown back at me, but there was plenty of new technique there as well.

Plus, she was fast. Too fast. It was like she knew what I was going to do before I did it. She probably did too. Because she knew me. I'd been her mentor, offering her the building blocks to all of this. And I might have trained her, but she'd been watching me too. I loved her with all of my heart, and though it would be much easier, I didn't think that could fade in fourteen or one hundred years. She had to know it too. I may not have been aware of what would become of us, but it became very clear to me, then and there, that this woman knew me inside and out.

Distantly, I heard some whistling and cheering from our onlookers, but my eyes were only on Rose as we tested each other, attacking and blocking. It took all of my skill just to keep up with her. Even then, I found myself on the defensive more often than not. I knew that my best bet at this point would be to rely on my height and brute strength, but Rose knew it too and she wasn't giving me an opening.

My heart raced in my chest. She was incredible. Time faded away into an abstract concept as we continued to exchange blows. Finally, something seemed to give as she left her shoulder undefended long enough for me to knock her to the floor. I went in for the final blow, but she snaked her leg around my ankle and pulled me to the ground beside her. She rolled around to straddle me, and it was over.

Our gazes locked. Her hair was flying every which way, fanning around us like a dark halo. She'd tied it back up before we began, but at some point it came loose. Perspiration dripped from the both of us and we gasped together, nearly in sync.

She was the same, I realized, no matter her age. She was the same beautiful, brave, passionate woman. She'd take on an army of Strigoi if she thought it would help people, and she could do it too. And I loved her. Every single version of her.

With her pressed against me, I could help but let my mind wander as my body yearned for so much more than a sparring match. Rose's pupils were dilated as she stared down at me with a matching ferocity. I knew we were on the same page.

The sound of clapping filtered in through our charged haze and I blinked as Rose abruptly climbed to her feet, leaving the air cold and empty with her absence.

She was the one to end it this time, I thought humorlessly, still too caught up in the emotion. And she was completely right. We weren't even alone. Get a grip, Dimitri, I told myself.

Older Rose offered her hand to me and helped me up. I barely paid attention as the others raved on about the match, though I did catch Mason and Eddie whisper something about gods.

I took a subtle peek at younger Rose who kept on eyeballing her future self with a mixed expression of enthusiasm and incredulity. When her eyes darted to me however, they took on the same cold discomfort as before. Nothing had changed there.

Shifting my gaze, I saw that Older Rose was studying me. A moment later, she pulled me aside and asked if we could speak in private. With everyone distractedly chatting amongst themselves, no one seemed to notice when we slipped away.

Just outside the gym doors, she turned to me.

"You need to speak to my past self."

Okay, not what I was expecting. Her tone was demanding and offered no alternatives.

"About what?" I asked.

She rolled her eyes. "You know what. You got into some stupid fight yesterday and now the two of you won't even look at each other? But you're totally fine talking with me. What gives?"

My stomach twisted as I thought back to how upset I made her. "I don't think she wants to speak with me."

"Dimitri." she enunciated. "I am her. She is me. So when I say she wants to speak with you, she does. Whatever was said...just apologize and get it over with. Let her do the same."

I wanted to. I really did. But what if I apologized, and we just got into another fight the next day? Or the next? Resentment building up over and over again because we had feelings we could never act on. Would that become our lives? Frozen in place by my indecision and our poor lots in the world. Could I really condemn her into that sort of purgatory? Who was to say she'd wait with me? She certainly had no obligation to. There were plenty of others who would gladly take my place if she'd let them. Except...maybe there was hope. Somehow. The way she'd looked at me in the gym...

This was it. I had to find out the truth, once and for all.

"Roza…" I began. My voice was low, but in the silence, it seemed deafening to my ears. "I need you to tell me. Do I end up with Tasha?"

Her eyes bugged out and it was like all the stress I'd seen in her earlier came rushing back.

"Dimitri. I can't keep giving away facts about the future like this! What I'm doing...me being here, it has consequences. I don't know how much. Past Me and Mason were supposed to kiss today. Did it happen? No, because Past Me had a sprained ankle and couldn't go skiing so she went to some fancy party with Lissa and Jill instead. The same party where there was another freak accident!"

She looked like she was at her wits end, but I felt far worse off as her words pummeled into me. She was supposed to kiss Mason. Supposed to, as in it was probably important to the future that she came from. And why would it be important to Future Rose if she didn't want them to end up together? If she hadn't ended up...with him.

I didn't think she meant to say even that much. Seeing my fallen expression, her brows furrowed with worry.

"Dimitri, what's-"

At that moment, Adrian rounded the corner. "Hey, I thought I saw you guys head over here. I think the others are planning to clear out soon, so if you're having a moment or whatever, it's time to wrap it up."

Rose nodded, still looking at me uneasily. I mostly felt numb.

"Maybe we could grab some coffee. I think we could all use a cup," she said.

"I don't know about that," Adrian replied, "You guardians have terrible taste."

Rose broke her gaze away from me to focus on Adrian. "What?"

"I drank someone's coffee at the meeting yesterday, remember?"

"Yeah," she said, "because you're an asshole who steals people's drinks."

"Okay, fine. But seriously though, who puts orange juice in a coffee cup?"

That caught her attention. Her eyes locked onto his.

"What do you mean?"

He didn't catch on to the new atmosphere immediately. "I'm just saying, get a plastic cup like a civilized individual, you know?"

"Whose cup was it?" she demanded.

He raised his hands, "I don't know. It could've been anyone's in that room I guess."

It was like she was putting the pieces together from an elusive puzzle. I could see that something, whatever it was, had just started to make sense.

"Why?" Adrian asked her. "What's so special about it?"

Rose's coffee mystery was the least of my problems though. Instead, the building certainty that we'd never stood a chance together ate at me. Logically, I knew it shouldn't have been such a surprise. It was obvious from the start. But somehow, it still stung - being sure, watching all of those secret dreams I'd harbored and clutched at be swept away.

Well, I got what I wanted. An answer. I was a fool for wishing I'd like it.

Rose spoke up. She might've been responding to Adrian's question, but she seemed almost as lost in thought as I was. "Maybe the magic doesn't have to be in a charm after all," she said.

I didn't stick around to find out what she meant. Without a word, I left. Striding away and rounding the corner before either of them could follow.

"Wait, Dimitri!" I heard Rose call out, "You can't just go without Adrian!"

Oh, yes I could. I practically ran down the halls of the massive building, forsaking the elevator for a nearby flight of stairs because I didn't want to stand still for a moment. I exited onto the fourth floor and followed my legs, which seemed to have developed minds of their own, until I stood at the doorway to Tasha's room.

I rapped my knuckles onto the wood in five urgent taps.

She answered, looking surprised to see me so late. Spirit training had taken longer than I thought.

"Yes," I told her. "I'll be your guardian, Tasha. Yes."

And I kissed her. She kissed me back.

It was nothing as intense as the kiss at St. Vladimir's with Rose, or even how I'd felt sparring with her future self today. But it was nice. If I had never met Rose, I might've not even realized there was something wrong. I could get used to it. No, I would get used to it. Because I'd made my decision.


	13. Chapter 13

CHAPTER THIRTEEN - ROSE

After Dimitri ran off, I told Adrian to go looking for him. I wasn't sure what had gotten him so worked up (to be honest, I thought I'd been the one acting like an emotional wreck), but I didn't think it was a good idea to leave him alone like that. Especially with a witch around.

Because that's what was happening. I couldn't believe I'd been so thick-headed. The clues were all there. Robert's strangely powerful magic, the random explosions. The orange juice was the key.

Witches needed to refuel their blood sugar levels after powerful spells, and fruit juices were a simple solution.

It all added up to one very important fact. Robert had an inside-man (or woman).

The weirdest part was, I felt relieved. All day, I'd worried that these little mistakes and differences in events were my fault. The reunion with Dimitri and Anton had been enough to get me through, but this was a huge weight off my shoulders.

It also meant that I had a lot of work to do. There was still so much I didn't understand. Like, what was the witch doing to cause the accidents? And why had no one been hurt? While I was glad, it seemed like too much to ask that they just happened to be really clumsy. There had to be some other intention.

Still, having an actual threat - here, and maybe even close by, was almost reassuring in its familiarity. I wasn't made for inaction.

So even though I wanted nothing more than to follow Adrian and find out what was going on with Dimitri, I straightened up, went back into the gym, and got Yuri to call in a message for Alberta. I really needed to get my own headset.

Ignoring his protests, I convinced Yuri to come with me to where Alberta and I planned to meet. My past self and the others looked at us curiously, but I dragged him out before they could start asking questions. Yuri argued that one of us should stay around to watch over the students, but since he was technically a suspect now, I thought they'd be way safer without him there. I didn't tell him that though.

Really, Alberta was a suspect too. Like spirit users, witches could just as easily pull illusions and disguise themselves as other people. With luck, the displaced person was just locked in a basement somewhere. I hoped.

But at least I hadn't seen Alberta at the scene of the first explosion. Plus, she was one of the guardians I'd spoken to the most since coming here, and she hadn't exactly lit off any red flags. I was willing to give her a temporary pass.

Along the way, I asked Yuri some questions. What he was doing yesterday before the accident on the slopes, regular or decaf, etc. I tried to make them seem casual, but he definitely knew something was up. When I asked about today's fire, his answer surprised me.

"Oh, I wasn't there."

"Wait, what?" I asked, "You were with the girls all day since I left you guys."

Yuri shook his head. "I went on break around one. That was when the luncheon started."

"Okay, so who took your place?"

"Hmm...not sure. The system that Guardian Alto set up between the eight of us just involves someone calling in the shift change. Whoever's close by and available can answer."

"And you didn't think to wait around until they took over?"

Yuri bit his lower lip. "They were, uh, selling tacos at the Ice Cap Cafe. It was a novelty thing. Tacos in a cafe. Weird, you know?"

I massaged my forehead. If we were back home, I'd have put this guy on desk duty for like a week.

We reached Alberta who was waiting for us back in the main lobby. She looked tired, clad in nothing but her pajamas, but I knew she was still ready for action. I led her into the little office again and told Yuri to wait outside. After explaining the situation, we decided that we'd call each of the eight guardians and faculty members up individually and covertly interrogate them (under the guise of talking about the mission).

It was slow work. Calling my mother in was a whirlwind all on its own. She figured us out within minutes and demanded we tell her what was going on. And of course, because she's Janine Hathaway, she wanted to help out.

Through Celeste and Dustin (who were both absent during the first explosion), we were able to confirm Yuri's story about going on break, and he was right - there was no record of who had replaced him. We gave the okay for him to leave for now and my mother escorted him away.

I figured that the next course of action should probably have been to wake up my past self and the others to get a direct answer as to their elusive guardian, but as it turned out, we didn't have to worry.

Just as I was about to send Alberta up, we heard a loud banging on the office door. And on the other side was none other than Past-me. Alone.

"What are you doing here?" I demanded, "You're supposed to be with Lissa and Jill."

She was completely unapologetic. "I slipped away. You were being super sketchy back in the gym. Seemed like something I should be a part of."

Was everyone just conveniently forgetting that there was a dangerous spirit user on the loose?

"No, it's not" I told her. "You're going straight back right after we talk."

"So you do need me for something," she challenged.

"Just sit down."

When I explained how Stan's system worked and asked about Yuri's replacement, she didn't have much to offer.

"That sounds like a stupid system. What if three guardians are nearby and they all show up at once?"

I gave her a look. I might have agreed, but that wasn't the point.

She crossed her arms and slouched in her seat. "I don't remember, okay? It's fuzzy."

"Fuzzy?"

"Yeah, it's like we were with Yuri one minute, and I guess he must've left, but he was back again the next. I remember the party just fine though. It was another boring royal snooze-fest."

That was disturbing. Compulsion could definitely have this kind of effect on memories and I knew witchcraft had its share of amnesia spells. It was anyone's guess what had been thrown at Mini-me (because I liked to believe I wasn't just that oblivious). The question was, why? If they'd had her right there, why leave her alone?

"Can you think of anything else that might have happened recently? Anything out of place?" I asked, "Maybe during the first accident?"

I didn't have high hopes as she concentrated, but my feelings shifted when I saw the familiar light-bulb-gone-off expression in my younger eyes.

"Well, there was the ice-pack."

"The ice-pack?"

"Yeah, it was weird. Stan offered it to me after I hurt my ankle, but he wouldn't let me hold it. It felt really cold, but the texture was off."

Everything froze as I remembered what she was talking about. Stan had been holding an ice pack to her sprain. But now that I thought about it, the pack had been really small. It couldn't be...

"What did it feel like?" I asked, feeling like we were on the precipice of something big.

"Almost wooden, I think."

I leaned forward, staring intently at my younger self, despite her building confusion.

"Did you see what it looked like at all? Did it remind you of a flower?"

"I don't know! It was covered in paper towels. The paper only fell away for a second."

It all fit together. Stan's ice pack. Stan's crappy guarding system. He'd been there, I remembered. In the cafeteria that first day. Close enough to swipe the totem from me.

I turned to Alberta.

"Where is Stan right now?"

But Alberta was gone.

In her place stood a vaguely familiar teenage girl. Past-me and I immediately sprang up, alarmed. Before we could do anything however, the girl raised a palm and blew some kind of dust in our faces. The world swam and I lost consciousness.


	14. Chapter 14

CHAPTER FOURTEEN - ROSE

I woke up abruptly to find myself tied to a chair in a dark room. My younger half, who'd apparently woken up before me, was situated at my back in a similar position.

I squinted into the gloom and saw that several small candles were spread out sporadically around us, giving the whole place a mysterious ambiance. We were in some kind of entirely wooden room - wood walls, hardwood flooring, wooden rocking chairs circling around a wooden table - like the inside of a log cabin that took itself way too seriously. The whole thing screamed fire hazard, though it might've actually been rather cozy if we weren't currently trapped with no way out and no backup coming. At least the decor made me think we were probably still on the Lodge's grounds.

My past self squirmed, jostling me in the process.

"Well we found Stan," she whispered.

I cranked my neck to see what she was talking about and found the unconscious form of my old schoolteacher, bound to yet another wooden chair.

Our captor strolled in just then, carrying a large tote bag. She was a seventeen year old girl with short platinum hair and hipster glasses. A mess of necklaces hung around her neck. Hot pink plastic beads, a sparkly green star, a gold and diamond locket, a dog tag...it went on. Chaotic, like an eight year old had decided to play dress up with mommy's jewelry.

More importantly, I'd seen her once before.

Noticing what previously held our attention, she laughed. "Oh don't mind him. He's fine. I needed Stan here alive to access his memories - just enough to blend in and fool you idiots."

"Alicia DeGraw," I said. Sydney's long-ago arch nemesis. The psycho who'd once kidnapped Jill for months just to settle a grudge.

"The one and only." She actually did jazz hands.

I felt Past-me cock her head to the side. "Who?

"She's a witch from the future," I explained. "She got sent to witch prison ages ago."

"Are you seriously joking right now? Witches aren't real."

At my silence, she got more desperate.

"Witches aren't real," she emphasized.

"Oh they very much are. You got one thing wrong though, Rosie," Alicia said to me, ignoring my death glare. "I'm not from the future. Our pal Robert may have started all of this by working with my future self - sent him back in time and everything. But I'm the one who did all the heavy lifting. I'm the one who realized the stupid totem she made was a dud. It only goes one way."

It made sense now why Robert could access that kind of power. Sydney had connections because there was only one coven which had access to the building blocks for time travel magic.

"You were trained by the Stelle," I breathed.

She hummed. "Veronica Terwilliger. Apparently, I nearly kill her. Oh well. She never appreciated me anyway."

Past-me made a hysterical choking noise. "You found out you're going to murder someone and you just...don't care?"

"Hmm, not really." Alicia said.

At Past-me's disgusted look, Alicia rolled her eyes.

"Don't start. From what I hear, you're not such a peach either, dear."

She sent a smug glance my way. It didn't bode well for what Robert could've possibly told her. My past self noticed and was instantly suspicious.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Thankfully ignoring her, Alicia set her bag down on the table and started taking out some items. One of them was very familiar.

"My totem!"

My chair creaked as I leaned over in my bindings to get a closer look at the little rose carving. It fit in strangely well with our current surroundings.

Alicia regarded it for a moment, stroking her thumb across its raised edges. The light cast frightening shadows on her face, making her look like a villain from one of those old noir films.

"Oh yes, this thing caused me quite a lot of trouble. Once I realized it could only be activated by the owner. You," she pointed at me, "I had to get creative. I tried all sorts of things to make sure it would work for me. Most of the time it blew up in my face. Literally. For a while, I even thought skin-to-skin contact with Squirt over there might do the trick."

She jerked her chin at my younger self. I might not have been able to see her, but I felt her scowl like it was something palpable in the air.

"Anyway," Alicia continued, looking back at me. "Now I know it can only be you. Your touch will activate the totem."

She pulled out some witchy looking ingredients from her bag of wonders. Several herbs, a few jars of clear liquid, and some furry things that I hoped weren't animal parts. Components to a spell, maybe? Activating the totem myself only really required some intention on my part. Maybe making someone unwilling send different people forward was more complicated.

Hoping to stall for time, I brought up one of the things that were bothering me.

"Okay, but why not just kill Mini-me when you had the chance? If she's not useful to Robert anymore, that was what he wanted in the first place, wasn't it?"

"Hey!" my past self protested. She probably didn't like my casual references to our death.

Alicia barked out a hard laugh. "I don't care what Robert wants! Robert promised my future self that he'd give me everything I needed to stop the bitch who will someday apparently send me to prison and ruin my life. But has he delivered? No. He won't even tell me her name. So I'm done working for him. This," she gestured around herself, "all this isn't so he can go back. I'm going to the future myself. I'll find out her name, I'll skin her alive, and then I'll go back in time and do it again."

Well, that was good enough reason for me to absolutely not bring up Sydney at any point during this encounter. It hadn't even happened yet, but wow, this girl could hold a grudge. It made me wonder just how bad her future really was for her. I'd never asked many questions about where Alicia was sent off to. I didn't think the others had either. We'd all just been glad that Jill was safe. Neil's disappearance and other infant-related discoveries overshadowed the rest. But witch prison had to be at least as bad as Tarasov - probably worse - to get this sort of reaction out of her.

Or maybe she was just crazy. A rogue agent meant an unstable agent. Plus, I wasn't about to feel bad for her while she had us tied up in the dark. I'm not that much of a saint.

She started mixing some of her ingredients into a small bowl. Whenever Sydney did magic, she measured each portion out by hand. This girl just plopped things right in and stirred. Maybe they were pre-measured.

Past-me twisted some more behind me and her fingers brushed up against mine. I knew she was trying to free herself from her bindings, but the way she was going about it, all she would accomplish was some rope burn.

"What about Stan?" she asked our captor through clenched teeth, "Why is he here when you were playing 'Alberta' earlier?"

"Just for the night, hun," Alicia replied, not bothering to look up at us, "You do realize the radio system notifies all guardians that a call's being sent out, don't you?"

I didn't. Oops. It wasn't like they told me these things when I was a student!

"Oh, you can send direct messages, but naive Yuri didn't think to do that. When I heard the 'urgent call' go out, I knew I had to make sure you weren't onto me. Dear Alberta's sleeping, safe and sound in her room. As for you two…well, your fate's going to be a little less pleasant."

Out from the bag came another item - a simple crystal necklace, far less gaudy than any of the jewelry she was currently wearing.

Alicia gently dipped the crystal tip into her strange concoction. "I'm sure at least one of you knows that I've been trained in the art of energy cultivation. By myself, I can't control the totem's power. But if I take some from one of you…"

"What's she talking about?" asked Past-me.

I remembered stories of dead college students and comatose witches.

"She's going to drain the life out of us to fuel her time spell."

"...Oh."

I knew exactly what was running through my past self's head in that moment. Disgust, frustration, anger. It's what I'd felt when I first heard the full story from Adrian and Sydney. Because how could someone do that - take someone's life away just for power? It made this human girl seem uncomfortably Strigoi-like. Those feelings were also conveniently what I was going through right now for far more imminent reasons. Like keeping myself and our future intact.

Alicia swung the thin silver chain from her index finger and approached us. In her other hand, she clutched at my totem.

"This necklace will help me to channel your life force. Put this on, and in just a few minutes, the power will be sucked right out. I won't have to lift a finger. Clever, huh?"

Neither of us agreed.

"You should know that only one of you needs to die to power this baby. So," she waggled her eyebrows and flitted her gaze between us. "Who's it going to be?"

I tried to think. We were tied up and outclassed. In a minute, Alicia was going to put that stupid necklace on one of us and probably send the future into all sorts of chaos. Then all she had to do was touch me with the totem, and we'd all really be screwed. Sydney, Dimitri, Anton...who knew how many lives this vengeance driven witch could tear apart? But I couldn't let the panic overwhelm me. I'd been in seemingly dire situations plenty of times before and I'd made it through them all. I was Rose Hathaway. Hell, in a couple of days, my past self would be in a similar spot again. Tied up, no way out. If it wasn't for Christian…

Christian. Who had burned through our bindings after we tricked our guards. I snuck a quick glance at the candles littering the floor around me and my past self. I wasn't sure if they were a part of the spell or if Alicia just thought it would make things look cool. It didn't matter. We used fire then, while captured by Isaiah. We could use fire now. Or something like it. I had to get the totem to touch my younger self's skin instead of mine. If I could get another explosion to go off...well if it didn't immediately kill us, it might just free us and save our lives. I was okay with those odds.

"Remember, Rosie," Alicia taunted, "Your skin doesn't have to have that much life in it to open a time portal. Then again, killing Squirt over here might just take out two birds with one stone."

"Really?" I asked her, fragments of an idea beginning to piece together in my head. "Huh. It's too bad you can't open it on your own after all, because you're looking kinda dry." I smiled with mock sympathy.

Affronted, she took a small step forward.

Past-me noticed too.

"Why bother with all this anyway? Can't you just make a new time travel...thingy?" she asked Alicia.

I had to give it to my past self. She caught on fast.

Alicia's expression turned bitter.

"She doesn't know how," I speculated. "She can use the magic in a totem that already exists, but when it comes to creating her own, she can't do it. She's a leach."

She sneered at me. "You have no idea."

"Oh I think I do. See, I'm friends with the girl who sends you away. She created my totem for me. And she's always been more powerful than you."

Alicia snarled, her hands balled up into fists. She was clutching at her two magical items so tightly that I wondered if she might crush them.

"But you knew that," I continued. "Even if you manage to get to the future, you couldn't hope to beat her."

She took another step closer to us, fury making her reckless.

"You know what?" she said, "The necklace is going on you. You bitch."

She lifted up the chain and drew closer, too distracted to tuck away the totem.

"Face it, Alicia. You're weak."

Closer...closer…Perfect.

"And you always will be."

She had the necklace raised right above my hairline, which also gave me a decent angle for I needed.

I jerked my leg up into a high roundhouse kick and knocked her arms directly at my past self's head. The totem brushed against her cheek and I felt static in the air. My chair fell to the side and me along with it, while the necklace flew across the room.

Past-me yelled a loud "oof," but the noise was swallowed up as a hot burst of power charged outward from the little wooden rose, overtaking the room. My vision went white as I was thrown back into the wall.


	15. Chapter 15

CHAPTER FIFTEEN - ROSE

Blinking back tears in what felt like moments later, I realized that I must have passed out for a minute or two, because the situation had radically shifted.

The candles were tipped over like I'd planned and flames were already licking at the walls. Through the smoke, I saw my past self crawl over to me and start trying to untie the rope around my wrists. I didn't know how she'd gotten out of her own bindings, but she looked relatively unharmed.

As for me, my chair seemed to have swallowed up most of the damage, but I was certain I'd find some scrapes and bruises in the morning.

I coughed. "Where's Alicia?"

"Hit her head in the blast. She's passed out over there." She pointed towards some smoke-filled corner.

"Stan?"

"I dragged him outside already. She must've drugged him with something powerful."

I nodded and she continued working at the rope. Priceless seconds ticked by. After she got me loose, we went over to pull Alicia's prone form from the burning building.

When we were all safely outside of what I'd correctly assumed had been a log cabin, I finally let myself take a breath.

"Good job," I told her, inspecting the two bodies and trying to estimate how the two of us could best carry a six foot tall guardian and our new prisoner back to civilization.

My past self studied me hesitantly. "We make a good team," she conceded.

I shrugged. "Well, we are Rose Hathaway."

We grinned at one another.

The momentary instance of solidarity was broken as Alicia jerked awake.

We resumed our battle stances, but she'd obviously take the brunt of the damage from earlier. She got to her feet but swayed where she stood. A small stream of blood was leaking from her forehead and I wouldn't be surprised if she had a concussion.

I started forward to subdue her and her eyes darted between us like a trapped animal. In an instant however, her expression hardened. I saw some decision reach her eyes. As I wrapped my arms around her frame, I couldn't stop her before she belted out a short Latin phrase.

And like that, she was gone. Just evaporated into the wind as if she'd never been there at all.

I felt like screaming.

After that, I had Past-me wait by Stan as I searched around for her, but after about twenty minutes of running through the forest, I had to admit temporary defeat.

I returned to find my younger self tapping her foot on the ground in annoyance.

"What was that?" she asked.

"She's gone," I said. "We lost her." I kicked at a tree.

This couldn't be happening. It was one thing for my friends, or even my past self, to find out things about their future. They'd at least try to do the right thing with the knowledge if they could. Alicia though...she knew just enough to be deadly. Just enough to change the world, and she wasn't afraid to hurt people to get what she wanted. This was bad. Even with Robert still on the loose, I could still say he was predictable. Alicia was anything but.

"She can't just be gone," Past-me insisted. "She was there and then she just...vanished. It has to be some kind of trick."

"It's magic," I told her numbly. "Human magic's like that. Half the time, it doesn't even make sense."

It wasn't what Sydney would tell me, but I was too tired to give any kind of precise explanation. No. We needed to find out where we were so that we could get Stan medical attention if he needed it. He was the priority. I'd deal with Alicia later.

"This is insane," she muttered to herself.

We ended up wrapping Stan's arms around each of our shoulders, carrying him in the direction we hoped would lead back to the lodge. I could only assume the cabin had been some kind of groundskeepers home. I hoped they wouldn't be too mad that we burned it down.

My past self still seemed to be processing everything. I welcomed the quiet for once, caught up in all of the extra problems I now had, but she became more chatty around the time I started to recognize our surroundings.

"So you got here with magic, didn't you?" she asked, "Because you have that witch friend. Who is she? Do I know her yet? Is this some kind of secret identity thing?"

I sighed. "You don't know her yet."

"Okay. Well what about that flower carving? If it's how you got sent back in time, does that mean you don't need a witch to use it and go forward again?"

At the mention of my totem, I froze. How could I have been so stupid? I'd forgotten it again.

Seeing my expression, Past-me raised her free hand, palm down.

"Relax," she said reaching into her pocket and pulling out a flat golf ball sized object - wrapped in a small rag.

I exhaled and had her pass it over to me.

Even with the new issues at large, it was still a relief to have it back in my possession. Sitting in my palm was the knowledge that I had a way back home to my family, and a way to maybe fix some of the mistakes I'd made along the way. Hell, if I could find Alicia, I could use the first amnesia burst on her.

Thinking about another potential mistake, I eyed Past-me.

"By the way, did you see what happened to that necklace? It could still be dangerous."

"Nope."

Her answer bothered me for some reason, but before I could question her further, Stan stirred.

Opening his eyes, he blinked owlishly at me.

"Hathaway, you should be in your room," he slurred, "It's past curfew."

Oh yeah, this was the real Stan alright.

He dozed off again and it took us fifteen more minutes to lug him all the way back to the lodge's main clinic. I got a fellow guardian to alert my mother and the real Alberta to what was going on and sent my past self to bed. She wasn't pleased to be pushed away, but I convinced her that there wasn't really much else left to do tonight.

That was a lie, because as soon as I could manage, I had Alberta send all available guardians on an area-wide search for Alicia. It went on for half the night, but the results were the same. There was no sign of her. She really had just vanished.

I checked on Stan in the clinic and found him still resting. I was relieved to find that though he was a little disoriented, he had a clean bill of health. Only then did I allow myself to sleep as well.

The next morning, a new set of problems emerged. Because that was my life. In the stress of Adrian's coffee revelation and being taken captive by Alicia, I'd completely forgotten that today was the day of the Drozdov attack.

The entire lodge was abuzz with the news. People clustered in small groups in the halls. They sought out loved ones and gossiped in terrified whispers. As much as I hated to say it, the way it shrouded talk of last night's fire and subsequent search party was probably for the best. The less changes that were made to everyday life around here, the better.

I tried my best to avoid any kind of serious talk about the event, especially with people who knew me. I steered clear of my mother's room in the morning where I knew a meeting would be taking place, and I made efforts to keep watch of my past self, Lissa, and Jill from the shadows. Considering they spent much of the day doing anything they could to get more information, I was pretty proud of myself.

Eventually though, my luck ran out. My mother cornered me a little past midday.

"Did you know?" she asked, looking worn.

I didn't need to ask her what she meant.

"You know I couldn't have done anything."

She processed that.

"The royals are having a meeting soon to discuss our options for the future. Please come."

I ran a hand through my hair. "Mom, I've already been through this once. I know what they're going to say."

"Please." she said simply. "I just...could use a friendly face right now. And I'm sure your past self and Ms. Mastrano will be there. You're still watching them."

I'd almost think she was scolding me for slacking off, but the bite had been drained away from her words. I'd forgotten how hard this had been for everyone. Discovering for the first time that the world wasn't as safe and predictable as we thought it was. Strigoi could work together. Humans could help them. It was like the entire Moroi world just had its security blanket ripped away.

Back home, we had procedures for large scale attacks. Weak points were watched with extra vigilance and exit strategies were mapped out. Depending on the estimated number of Strigoi threats, larger Moroi communities like Court employed a system in which different guardians were assigned to specific sectors in the event of a large raid. Academies had Strigoi drills now. And for the more secluded, Christian had actually been developing a new program for volunteer squads of Moroi and dhampirs to be on call to help those in need.

Looking into my mother's lost eyes (usually hidden behind her tough, commanding exterior), I gave in and agreed to come.

A little while later, I entered the enormous banquet hall and sat in the very back. The rows of ornate seating made of black polished wood were designated for students, guardians, and non-royals. They were already packed. Up towards the front by the podium, a smaller group of royals (who would be the actual voices in all this) sat with their families. My mother was on duty, doing damage control. She offered a slight nod in my direction when she noticed me.

Paintings of long-dead Moroi royalty hung on the walls. I recognized most of them from old research sessions with Lissa. At the very start of her reign, she wanted to make sure she was well versed in our nation's history, so she made me quiz her. Some of the knowledge, fairly useless for a guardian like me, still managed to stick.

Peering at a portrait of Queen Alexandra, with her youthful face and long pale hair, I couldn't help but think about how someday it would be Lissa's picture catching dust in one of these places - her regal countenance just one of many in a long line that would continue on for ages. Even after all this time, my pride in her for what she'd accomplished had yet to dim.

It was strange to know that right now, Lissa would be standing by my younger self's side, completely unaware of all of that and debating whether or not to go sit up front with the other royals. I flitted my eyes in their direction and saw that she was in fact debating something with the others.

Someone tapped me on the shoulder.

"Hey slacker," said Adrian, coming around to the empty seat right next to me.

I was surprised to see him.

"Shouldn't you be up there with the Ivashkovs?" I asked.

"Ah, but staying here with you is so much more fun. Besides, I don't think my dad really wants me around anyway. He's too afraid that I'll embarrass him up there."

I didn't doubt it. Nathan Ivashkov's relationship with his son was strained to say the least. It would only get worse as time went on. Technically in the future, Adrian was officially disowned. Whether it was for marrying a human or getting his mother to finalize her divorce papers was anyone's guess.

"Did you find Dimitri?" I asked him quietly as the proceedings began. It was mostly just preliminary statements and royal bluster. Adrian wouldn't be missing much.

"Yeah," he said, pointing up a few rows to where Dimitri was sitting, unaware of our gaze. "About five minutes ago."

I stared at Adrian incredulously. "Did you even bother to look for him last night?"

"Sure I did. I went around the corner, didn't see him, and I decided to go to sleep."

At my hard expression, he offered a sheepish smile.

"Okay, I went to a party."

I couldn't believe him.

"I got him in a dream, okay? But he seemed a little creeped out so I let him be."

"Adrian! You need to be more responsible. Dimitri's life could be in danger and I'm trusting you to keep him safe."

I knew I shouldn't have been expecting him to all of a sudden act like his thirty-five year old self, but he had to know that this was serious. He couldn't keep playing idiot.

"I'm sure he'd much rather be alone," Adrian scoffed. "Besides, I think he's found himself a new Moroi protector."

"What do you mean?"

I vaguely heard as Tasha took the mike from a woman advocating to put sixteen year old novices on the field.

Adrian motioned towards the podium. "You're looking at her."

Tasha was dressed easy and casual, in some jeans and a white tank top which showed a bit of midriff. She had on a blue, lacy knit cardigan that came to her knees and she wore her hair in a high ponytail. The raised, purplish scarring on her left cheek stood out prominently on her pale skin. It made her look bold and defiant. Which, among all of the other things I could say about the woman, I had to admit was true.

"The reason we're waiting for these guardians to turn eighteen," she said, "is so that we can allow them to enjoy some pretense of a life before forcing them to spend the rest of their days in constant danger. They need those extra years to develop mentally as well as physically. Pull them out before they're ready, treat them like they're parts on an assembly line- and you're just creating Strigoi fodder."  
I hated being in the same room with her. Listening to her speak, and agreeing with most of it, was disconcerting. Sometimes I forgot that I'd actually respected her once. She hadn't seemed like the kind of person who would murder a queen. Maybe right now in this moment, she wasn't. Everything about her was complicated - from the day she first showed up in my life to the day Christian and Lissa set flowers down at her grave.

She argued back and forth with the scandalized public, becoming more and more impassioned. Her audience couldn't take their eyes off of her. I couldn't see Dimitri's face from this angle, but I thought I remembered him looking impressed.

"What?" I asked Adrian, trying to make sense of his earlier comments. "You mean his deal to work for Tasha? It's just an offer. Theoretical."

"I don't know," he singsonged. "It doesn't seem so theoretical anymore. His aura's all over the place."

That didn't sound good.

The debating went on up front. "Surely you aren't suggesting the Moroi fight alongside the guardians when the Strigoi come?" came one of the royals, Monica Szelsky. Tasha went a step further and argued that Moroi and guardians needed to actively seek out Strigoi. Some twenty-year old pretty boy mocked her, asking if they were going to be given clubs and stakes first.

"If that's what it takes," Tasha shrugged, a sly smile crossing her lips, "But there are other weapons we can learn to use, too. Ones the guardians can't."

The guy rolled his eyes. "Oh yeah? Like what?"

I knew what was coming, but I only had eyes for Dimitri. Adrian was probably just exaggerating but still. I needed to talk to him - find out what was going on.

Tasha waved her hand, and the sweater that the guy had placed on the back of his chair burst into flames. He yelped in surprise and knocked it to the floor, stamping it out with his feet. There was a brief, collective intake of breath, which gave me deja vu like you wouldn't believe, before the banquet hall erupted into chaos.

As everyone spoke up above one another, hurling various accusations towards Tasha, I saw Dimitri and my past self leave the room together.

I grabbed Adrian's arm. He seemed more entertained by the turn of events than anything else.

"Come with me," I said. I wanted to have a private moment with Dimitri, but I also didn't like the idea of Adrian slinking away and avoiding his responsibilities.

We followed them outside in a crowd of other early-departing guests and hid behind a large pillar. I looked at Adrian and put a finger to my lips. We'd wait until they were done talking and then follow Dimitri somewhere quiet.

"Shouldn't you be in there protecting Tasha before the mob gets her?" we heard Past-me ask, "She's going to get in big trouble for using magic like that."

"She can take care of herself," Dimitri said.

"Yeah, yeah, because she's a badass karate magic user. I get all that. I just figured since you're going to be her guardian and all..."

"You're right. I am."

What?

My past self sounded just as taken aback. "Oh. Well I guess that's it then. Good for you." The words were shaky and robotic.

There was a long, awkward pause.

"Rose, I wanted to apologize for earlier. We shouldn't be fighting. Not about this. I promise, it's for the best."

No...this wasn't how it was supposed to go.

"Yeah I'm sure it'll work out just fine for you," she said coolly, "sailing into the sunset with your girlfriend who sets fires off near anyone who disagrees with her. She sounds completely stable."

"Don't turn this around on Tasha," Dimitri snapped.

"Right. Because she's so perfect. Everyone loves Tasha. You love Tasha," her voice broke. "Guess some child like me wouldn't understand."

"Rose…"

"No, it's okay. I get it. It's a once in a lifetime shot. You'll be happy with her. Nothing to hold you back here anyway, right?"

More silence.

"I need to go," muttered Past-me.

Heavy footfalls neared mine and Adrian's hiding spot. We shifted position, but I still caught a glimpse of my younger self running past us, unshed tears in her eyes.

I screwed up. I screwed up big time, because one of the biggest things that was supposed to go down at the lodge - Dimitri saying no to Tasha - was now suddenly different. I remembered this fight. Right after Tasha started the fire, Dimitri convinced me to leave early since no good would come of staying with everyone in disarray. Things had escalated between us, but they hadn't been...like this.

I couldn't blame explosions or crazy witches for this one. It was all me. Somehow, my presence here led Dimitri to make his decision early - and he'd made the wrong one. I'd been arrogant enough to believe that there was no version of reality where Dimitri wouldn't choose me eventually. What if I was wrong?

Peering around the corner, I saw him begin to head off in the opposite direction, a troubled frown marring his features.

I turned back to Adrian. He was watching me.

"This wasn't supposed to happen, was it?" he asked solemnly. He had always been observant.

"Meet us back here in a half hour," I ordered. I needed to speak with Dimitri alone. I had to fix this.

Adrian didn't question me and he didn't complain. He just sent me a sort of wistful half-smile. Somehow, I knew this was the moment where it hit him - how much I truly loved Dimitri.

He nodded and left me to it.

I was glad he hadn't asked for details about what just happened. I was sick of the half-answers and the necessary lies. They weren't going to fix the future. But I knew what could. It was what Dimitri had wanted from me for days. The truth. And I would give it to him.


	16. Chapter 16

CHAPTER SIXTEEN - DIMITRI

I didn't know where I was going as I briskly tried to create as much distance between myself and Rose as possible. I didn't want to see her red-rimmed eyes or try to explain myself.

I never wanted to see Rose like that - devastated, trying desperately to keep it together. Yet here I was, the cause of it again. Her words echoed around my mind. You love her. Nothing to hold you back here. They left a sour taste in my mouth.

I thought giving Tasha an answer would make things easier. That telling Rose would make it final - give us some closure. Instead, I just felt more confused.

Angry with myself, I stalked down a long hallway toward the back of the lodge. The hall eventually ended, but a door leading to a set of stairs sat on the left. It was unlocked, so I followed the stairs upward to another door which led out into an isolated rooftop deck. Snow crunched under my feet as I headed over to a large, box-like object that I thought might be a part of the ventilation system. It was barely visible in the darkness, but I bent down to sit and stared up at the half-moon.

My body went taut when the door opened a few minutes later. It was Rose. Nerves washed over me until

I squinted into the gloom and found that it was her older self. I relaxed. Wordlessly, she walked over and settled down beside me.

We sat in silence for a long while. It was nice. For once, I wasn't thinking about Tasha or Mason or even Vasilisa. All of that had made what was between us so complicated. For a moment, we could just be Dimitri and Rose. For a moment, we just were.

"You should come out here later. It's actually pretty beautiful in the sunlight," she finally said.

"You've been here before?" I asked, surprised. It was a secluded spot. I didn't think it got many visitors.

"Once."

She had a soft smile on her face, so different from the sharp pain I'd seen earlier.

"I appreciate it, you know," I told her, kicking at the thin layer of snow with the edge of my boot.

She quirked her head.

"For being so professional," I clarified. "I know that...you must hate me in the future. After everything. It seems like every time your younger self and I talk, it becomes a fight. We're always fighting. But you've been able to keep things between us civil."

It was one of the many ways I knew she had become such a great guardian. She'd learned control. I was happy for her, and more than a little proud. Still, even though younger Rose probably had a long way to go, a large part of me mourned about the change in this version. The idea of Rose and walls around her heart just didn't go together. Rose was raw energy and passion and life. She was a blazing inferno that would rather scorch you than be tamed. I'd give anything to know what she was thinking right now. Would she ever forgive me?

Her lips quivered for a moment. Then, she burst out laughing. "That's what you think?"

At my serious look, she sobered up.

"I don't hate you, Dimitri. I could never hate you."

"I don't think your past self agrees."

"Really Comrade? How many times do I have to tell you? We're the same person. Trust me when I say, yeah, she's probably pissed and hurt and confused. But hate is definitely the last thing on her mind. Besides, speaking for both of us, I like our fights."

Her eyes smoldered, making me think about yesterday - in the few precious seconds where she hovered above me on the matt. Or even further back, to the night of the lust charm - a mistake which still haunted my deepest dreams and fantasies. I'd told Alberta that had been a fight charm too. My body felt warm.

"I meant verbal fights," I corrected her.

She smirked. It made me want to do the same. I missed this.

Somehow sensing my melancholy, she became more hesitant. "So...you and Tasha, huh?"

I didn't speak. There didn't seem to be a need.

"You wanna talk about it?"

Did I?

Yes, I realized. Talking this out with someone close was exactly what I needed. The problem was, beyond my family, Rose was the person I was closest to. She was the only one who I'd ever really felt comfortable opening up with after Ivan passed, and she hadn't exactly seemed like a viable option for discussing Tasha. But perhaps Older Rose was the solution. She'd be able to offer distance and perspective - advantages I so desperately needed.

She waited for me.

I avoided looking directly at her as I spoke.

"Tasha's offer is the perfect opportunity. Guardians don't get chances like this. Stay on the job, raise a family. Plus, I know her. She's a friend. A year ago, I would've snatched this up. And now there's you and Vasilisa. My presence around you both could only end up being a detriment. And you end up with Mason, so…"

She blinked. "I'm not with Mason in the future. What gave you that idea?"

I gaped at her. I'd been so sure…

"I don't…" I shook myself. "But that doesn't change the rest of it. There are so many complications. If I stay, my presence will just continue to be painful for the both of us. I can't responsibly stay on as Vasilisa's guardian. You don't need to keep sugarcoating the future if I'm not. Logically, this is the only option."

"But do you want to be with Tasha?" Rose asked.

"I could be happy with her someday."

Rose gave me an impenetrable look. "But do you want to?"

I fumbled. A cool blast from the winter wind bit into me just then, seeping past my jacket's layers. I shivered and realized I couldn't lie to her. I had to stop lying to myself.

"...No." I want to be with you.

"So don't do it."

"It's not that simple, Roza-"

I barely processed her swift movements as she gripped the lapels of my jacket and brought my lips to hers. She overpowered my senses. From the sweet smell of her light citrus perfume to the way her tongue danced against mine. Arms wrapped around my waist, she pulled me closer still. Deep and hypnotic, her lips moved with a slow intensity, filled with so much emotion that it was hard to believe I'd ever thought she no longer cared for me. It was like I melted, worries fading until it was just me and her. How could I ever think that Tasha could compare? My hands drifted up to the back of her head, fingers tangling into her soft brown locks. We took our time, exploring each other, enjoying it all.

Even after I pulled away, I could only stare at her dazedly while she smiled back.

"I can't tell you what to do," she said softly. "The last time you went through this, there wasn't some future version of me perched on your shoulder, giving you pointers. But...in my time, you do guard an Ozera. It's just not Tasha."

"What?" I asked her. My lips were still tingling and I didn't completely follow.

"If things go the same way as it did for me, and trust me when I say I want them to, then one day you'll be Christian's guardian."

But that meant...

"Are Vasilisa and Christian still together in the future?"

Her expression said it all.

Assignments close-by each other, but not directly overlapping. No single Moroi to put in danger. We might live together. Our break time would probably lead to more interaction than any sort of near-far guard setup we'd need to employ with Vasilisa. She'd be over eighteen. I wouldn't be her teacher anymore. It was perfect.

I allowed myself to take in what her kiss really meant - what she was trying to tell me without words. Delight and awe washed over me. I'd been so caught up in all the ways we were wrong for each other, I never gave myself the time to consider a world where we weren't.

We were still practically on top of one another, pants soaked through from the snow. Her hands rested on my lap and the moonlight made her eyes seem to glimmer even as the shadows overtook her form.

"I've been an idiot, haven't I?" I asked her.

She laughed. "A little bit." Then, she sobered up. "I can't promise you things'll be easy. There's a lot of darkness coming. But the end result...it's worth it, Dimitri. It really is."

I believed her.

Then, thinking about the more immediate consequences, I nearly groaned.

"I need to make things right. With Rose and Tasha," I said.

"You do," she told me. "Sometimes, try not to think so hard about things. You have a habit of brooding yourself into a rut."

She wasn't wrong. I smiled. "When did you get to be so wise?"

"I had a good teacher." She winked.

Not long after that, she convinced me to head back across the lodge with her to meet up with Adrian. I was less than enthused about that, but I followed her anyway. We spoke some more about lighter topics, but for the most part, she left me to my own thoughts. I definitely had a lot to consider now.

The first thing to do would be to explain myself to Tasha. I couldn't leave her under these false pretenses for long in good conscience. It wouldn't be fair to her. After that, I'd find my Rose and apologize to her. A real apology this time - not whatever I'd been trying to pull earlier.

When Older Rose left Adrian and I, off to check on something related to her mission, I had us set out to do just that.

The search for Tasha led us outside again, back into the brittle air. Adrian was being his usual self.

"Enjoy your vacation?" he asked me. At my lack of response, he went on. "I know I did. Had oodles of fun. Listened in on your little spat, got yelled at by my dad for not sitting with him in the splatter zone earlier. Well, flame zone now. It was great."

I detected a certain level of bitterness. It was unusual for him, at least around me.

"Do you fight often?" I asked.

He chuckled humorlessly. "Let's just say he has high standards. Thinks the Queen's closest relatives should act like gods or something. He doesn't really approve of my whole, well, me thing."

As if to emphasize his point, he pulled out a silver flask and took a swig. The liquid sloshed around inside the container, suggesting that a generous amount had already been taken.

"Maybe you should talk to him about how you feel."

I was reminded strongly of my efforts to convince Rose to reconcile with her mother. It seemed that mending tense familial bonds was a universal struggle. Then again, maybe I shouldn't be one to talk.

"I'm sorry, have you met Nathan Ivashkov?" he asked.

"I've heard stories."

All in all, Nathan Ivashkov seemed like a fairly standard pompous royal. Conservative views about how to run our society, low opinion of dhampirs. It was bad, but nothing I hadn't seen before. I supposed that didn't say much about how he handled familial matters though.

"Uhuh?" said Adrian. "Trust me, they don't do him justice. Anyway, I guess you wouldn't get what it's like. Dhampirs don't usually know their dads, right?"

"I knew mine." I replied with familiar dark edge in my voice.

"Really?"

"For a while. I made him leave."

Perhaps trying to lighten the mood, he directed another jab at me. "Why? Did he offend your proper sensibilities? Didn't bow low enough to your mom before a night on the town?"

"Actually, he beat her."

Adrian tripped a little, startled, before halting in place and making a time-out motion with his hands. We were at the edge of a large courtyard around the side of the lodge. Supposedly, Tasha had been spotted nearby not long ago. I felt a little tempted to just keep going without him, but I quenched the urge and swiveled around.

"What."

"Please tell me you kicked his ass."

In a weird twist of events, I found myself explaining the whole story to Adrian of all people. And he agreed with me for most of it.

He shook his head in disgust when I mentioned my father's drunken rages.

"Moroi, dhampir, That's messed up," he said. "You know you've got a problem, you get yourself out of there."

"Royal Moroi aren't usually well known for their consideration towards dhampir flings," I said, "The way the rest of the world sees it, they're not even supposed to."

"Yeah well, dads aren't supposed to be total assholes either. But here we are."

I had to agree with him there. Honestly, I felt like I might need to re-evaluate my opinion of Adrian just a little. He was nosy and crass and hedonistic and usually, very drunk. But no matter how much he continued to annoy me, my original assumptions about him were wrong. He wasn't cruel and despite his best efforts to appear uncaring, he might actually be a decent person. I didn't think he was like his father. Or mine.

Right then, an old Moroi gentleman with graying hair wandered up to us, looking lost.

"Excuse me, could you young men please help me? I need to find my brother. He said he was in the banquet hall. Where is the banquet hall?"

I opened my mouth, ready to direct him, but the words slipped away in an instant. I couldn't stop staring into his eyes. Dull brown slabs, hypnotizing in their simplicity, drew me in - trapping me there in a net of focus. It was like the feeling you get when you see a small blotch on an otherwise blank piece of paper, only much more intense. You know you should look away, but the peculiarity just grips you.

I heard background noises as if from a great distance.

"Um, it's back there," Adrian said.

"Oh good, good," replied the man, his voice sounding soft and warm to my ears. I could listen to it all day. "You should come with me."

That sounded like a great idea. I wanted nothing more than to go with him, anywhere he wanted.

"Okay," I found myself saying.

"What?" Adrian asked, "Didn't you want to go break up with your girlfriend? You were pretty determined like a minute ago. We don't need to go back to the hall. Just tell him the way."

I took a step forward towards the man.

"Hello, Belikov? Earth to Belikov!"

The man smiled kindly. "Oh, I'm sure he's fine."

From the corner of my eye, I could see Adrian squinting at the man in a way that was starting to become familiar after having spent so much time with him. Idly, I wondered if this was what aura reading looked like.

After a few seconds, he gasped.

"You're him! The guy. Robert," he said, tone drenched in horror. "Belikov, turn around."

When I didn't, he repeated himself. I started to feel the smallest inklings of urgency at Adrian's tone. It had the same honey-like quality that was so successfully drawing me into the man's gaze. Adrian's voice was persuasive too. I almost wanted to listen.

The moment passed and the man's eyes zeroed in on me. I was enthralled again. My attention drifted.

Adrian made to grab at my shoulder, but I was a trained guardian. I jerked my arm away.

"Enough of that," said the man.

With a swish of his arm, Adrian went flying. I heard a loud crash and some scuffling like he was trying to get up, but the man only had to clench his fist and things went quiet.

Unhindered, he gave me a wide congenial smile, fangs showing.

"Hello, Dimitri. I think it's time we got to know each other. Come."

He strolled away from the courtyard, in the direction of the trees, at leisurely pace.

Obediently, I followed him.


	17. Chapter 17

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN - DIMITRI

Apparently, my continued docility wasn't something Robert wanted to take chances on. Once we left the lodge (and two very dazed guardians at the wards) behind, he was quick to reach into his pocket and grab a pair of handcuffs. He had me put them on myself.

I came to my senses hours later, blinking back a feeling of confusion and vertigo. We were in some sleazy looking motel room - equipped with stained yellow wallpaper, one crooked painting, and plaid bed-sheets - at a place called The Sabertooth Inn. It was only a few towns away from the lodge and what I assumed had been Robert's hideout for the past few days.

I could remember everything I'd done since the courtyard in vivid detail, which I thought was a little strange. Rose told me many times that he had the ability to warp memories. So why miss an opportunity to at least muddle my awareness? The only idea I could come up with was that he didn't care if I knew where I was. The question was, why? Then again, much of this encounter didn't really make sense. I'd been told Robert wanted me dead.

I sat with my hands cuffed behind my back in a questionable green chair that creaked every time I moved.

Robert leaned forward across from me with a creepy, almost manic expression on his face.

"Do you know why you're here?" he asked me.

I calculated the odds of fighting my way out of here. Leap forward and kick him down, run to the door, call for backup. His age and species would be in my favor, but since I didn't really know what to expect from him, I decided to play nice. For now.

"Enlighten me," I said.

"Karma. Rose's, but yours too. At first, I would've been happy to just kill her. But when the older one started meddling, I couldn't let that slide. Not after everything she's done to me. To us."

"So this is her punishment?" I asked carefully. "Taking me captive?"

I was aware that this man was unstable and I didn't want to set him off. At the same time, I had to try and gather as much information as I could. With luck, it could get me out of this.

He hummed. "In a manner of speaking. Her punishment is what is going to happen to you. She loves you. Your pain will bring her pain and she'll suffer just like I've suffered before I wipe her from existence."

I clenched my jaw. I didn't like the sound of that. It also left me feeling more confused still. I'd been under the impression that Robert was after all three of us, but now it sounded like his main target was Rose. Were Jillian and I just collateral?

"What do you have against her? Why do all this?"

He giggled. "She hasn't told you then? Of course she wouldn't. Saint Rose Hathaway, right hand to the Queen. Little do they know, her hands aren't so clean."

His taunting almost sounded like a nursery rhyme. A nonsensical one.

I glared at him. "What are you talking about?"

"You're both murderers." He steepled the tips of his fingers, "But if you don't believe me, I'll show you. Many years ago, and not very long from now, you left me to rot, injured, alone, and half mad in the bushes by a motel parking lot. I doubt you realized it at the time, but I got a very illuminating look inside your head."

"You read my mind...in the future," I said.

It wasn't the strangest thing I'd heard recently, but it was what made me decide I'd had enough. I didn't think playing along with him would help me any longer. Any knowledge he offered about my future wouldn't come out of the kindness of his heart, and I had a feeling that the imminent future would involve torture. I decided to put my plan into action.

However, when I tried to kick forwards, I noticed a block. Something was freezing my limbs in place, stopping me from moving.

Robert watched me in amusement. Was this more spirit? My hopes plummeted.

"And what I saw proved to me what kind of man you truly are. Like I said, karma," he rambled. "The universe throws back what we take from it, Mr. Belikov. It's your turn to see that."

Somehow, I sensed what was coming before Robert fixed his eyes on mine. I tried to look away this time, but within seconds, I was lost.

I felt like I was pulled away from my body, hurtling into some dark, cold place. The air seemed to evaporate from my lungs.

I woke up somewhere new. Russia, my mind supplied. Novosibirsk. It was night, but the moonlight wrapped around the bustling city so brightly that it felt like day. I could only just barely make out the stars, yet I saw everything else in stark, vivid detail.

I strode down a narrow alleyway. At the end was the back entrance to a popular nightclub. Loud music emanated through the walls. I stood there, waiting patiently, my mind in a dreamlike haze. Finally, a young human woman with long dark hair exited the club. She had to be barely eighteen, but her makeup was provocative and she was very drunk. My mouth watered.

I was a passenger in my own body, unable to direct myself as I approached the girl.

"Hello miss," I said, catching her attention.

She smiled flirtatiously and stumbled towards me a little.

Before she could speak, I seized both of her shoulders and slammed her into a brick wall.

Her head made a thunking sound and she yelped. I was at her neck in an instant.

She chuckled nervously, trying to play it off. "Easy, boy. I like it rough, but I don't even know your n-"

I bit down. Blood pooled in my mouth, flowing from where my...fangs had inserted themselves.

Horror engulfed me. What was I doing? I tried to disengage myself from whatever this was. Break free, pull away, but my body had a mind of its own.

The girl screamed and tried to claw at my arms, but I caged her in place. Shifting even closer, I tore at her flesh with my teeth, allowing the red liquid to pour more freely down my throat. It was sweet and addictive, making me feel dual sensations of revulsion and pleasure as I literally sucked the life from this girl.

She begged me to stop. The part of me that wasn't overwhelmed with panic and the desperation to just do what she says and please make me stop, didn't understand how she could be in so much pain. If I had fangs, that meant there should have been a surge of endorphins, right? Why were there no endorphins?

The answer came to me as I felt my body moan. There were, but the way I kept pulling back and biting down again - making a gorey mess of her neck - prevented them from working effectively. It was intentional. For fun.

I had to end this. She was losing too much blood. Why couldn't I stop?

Her struggles faded and she fell to the ground, pale and lifeless. He eyes were still wide open in terror. Dead.

"These are your memories," came a faraway voice. Robert. "Taken from your future self."

No. No. It couldn't be. I would never…It had to be some trick. This was someone else. He was showing me someone else's memories. Some monster's.

I wanted to kneel by the girl's side and help her somehow. There had to be something I could do.

But I blinked and I was in a different place again. A new memory. I stood in front of a tall mirror. My reflection stared back at me, emotionless and wrong.

My features were correct. Hair still the same dark chin-length mess it became when I kept it loose. I still wore my duster. But my skin was now deathly pale and my eyes were foreign. Evil and malicious, an unmistakably sickening red ring encircled my pupils. I was Strigoi.

I wanted to throw up, but I was thrown into another memory.

This time, I was in some kind of lavish suite. I was spread out on a leather couch, half on top of someone. We were kissing passionately, the two of us fighting for domination. My hand slid up the back of her shirt as she grinded into me. Her skin felt hot to my touch and desire burned between us.

Then, her tongue brushed up lightly against one of my fangs and she froze. She jerked her head away from me and I was finally able to get a good look at her.

It was Rose.

She breathed heavily, fighting for control as guilt and fear overwhelmed her features.

"No," she murmured weakly, "No. we can't do this."

Once again, my mouth started moving without my permission. "Are you sure?" I asked, the inflection hard and cold. One of my hands was in her hair and I forcibly turn her head to face mind. I wanted to tell her to run, but there was nowhere for her to go.

"You didn't seem to mind," I said, "Everything can be just like it was before... like it was in the cabin... You certainly wanted it then..."

Whatever I was talking about felt important - something that would make her think, make her question her resolve. I didn't understand it, but anything meaningful to a Strigoi version of myself had to be wrong.

"No," she repeated. "I don't want that."

I pressed my lips against her cheek and worked a gentle trail of kisses down to her neck.

I tried to wrench back control, but it was useless. I was trapped in events that already happened. Would happen? Were fated to happen?

In that moment, I hated myself with every molecule. I didn't want to think about what this monster was planning to do to Rose, but I had to because it was happening right in front of me.

"What about this?" I asked, my voice a seductive whisper. "Do you want this?"  
"Wh-"

I sunk my fangs into her neck, internally screaming. I couldn't kill her too. Not her.

In my terror, I tried to console myself with the facts. Future Rose was fine. She was okay and this Rose was young so that meant she would get away. It had to mean she would get away.

But logic seemed like a distant memory as foreign emotions and desires overwhelming me, mixing into my personal devastation.

Rose's body relaxed against mine as the endorphins made their way through her system. This time, they worked fine. I wasn't sure if that made this better or worse.

I pulled away, and for a split second I thought that I'd somehow successfully taken back control. The notion was crushed when I ran a hand over my mouth, unbidden.

"Why... what..." Rose slurred. "You said it would be my choice..."  
"It still is," I said, breathing heavy. "I'm not doing this to awaken you, Roza. A bite like this won't turn you. This... well, this is just for fun..."  
I cursed as I felt myself move back to drink from her again, and I was mercifully pulled away from the scene.

…into yet another memory. Vision after vision consumed me. I tore through the streets of Novosibirsk, leaving a trail of blood and bodies in my wake. I was forced to watch as every moral I had was left in tatters. All the while, the memory of Rose in my clutches continued to haunt me. It wasn't the only vision I had of her either. Past all of the misery and torment at the atrocities I would commit, in the end, the knowledge of what I would do to her was what broke me.


	18. Chapter 18

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN - ROSE

Three hours.

He'd been missing for three hours. When Adrian came running up to me and the girls earlier, gasping for air, I thought for sure he'd lost it. As it turned out, it was much worse. Robert had Dimitri, and I had nothing. No leads, no way to track him down, and only the building certainly that Robert's plans were more sinister than I'd thought.

Adrian was a wreck, telling me over and over again that it was all his fault. I hadn't thought he was taking his job to protect Dimitri seriously, but I didn't have time to deal with his change of heart.

Really it was my fault. If I hadn't been so sure that he would go after my past self first, I could have pushed for more security around Dimitri. Or just had the goddamned foresight to know that one training session wouldn't come close to evening the playing field between Robert and a fledgling spirit user.

After Adrian got his story out, I'd told Lissa and Jill to go to their room where it was safe. I had no illusions that I'd be able to convince my past self to do the same. She loved Dimitri too.

We alerted Alberta and my mother, organizing a low-key search party throughout the lodge. We only had so much to work with since not many people saw missing guardians as a cause for distress and even less knew of the time travel situation.

My past self and Adrian pretty much refused to leave my side as I looked for anything that could help us. I tried to remain collected for their sakes, but inside, I felt like I was coming apart.

I was about ready to call a witch (who wouldn't know me yet) to do a scrying spell when one of the guardian's who'd been compelled at the front gate approached us. We already checked out his story and figured out what Robert did to him and his partner, so I was a little mystified when he wordlessly handed me a folded over sheet of paper.

Adrian and my past self huddled around on either side of me as I opened it.

Dear Rose,

Such a shame that the Russian oaf's been taken. See if you can reach him fast enough. Alone. Any other guardians come, and he dies. Oh, and be sure to bring that lovely young doppelgänger of yours.

Yours Truly,

Robert Doru

Below that, the letter offered an address - town and location, the Sabertooth Inn.

I clenched the paper in my fists, dumbfounded. It was too easy. What was he playing at?

"It has to be a trap," said Adrian, mirroring my thoughts.

"Well, duh," replied Past-me. She snatched the letter from my hands and narrowed her eyes at it, as if mining it for mysteries. "But we're going. We have to save him."

Reaching around her, I took the letter back. "You two aren't going anywhere. Adrian in case you've forgotten, you're still a royal Moroi and I can't just take you outside the wards. And as for you," I pointed at Past-me, "we have to assume that Robert still wants you dead. It'll be safer for everyone if I go alone."

"This is crazy!" Past-me exclaimed, "If he wants me dead then he wants you dead. Same risk!"

"Except if you die, I no longer exist and then there's no one to stop Robert."

"But, it's Dimitri." She said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world. And in some ways, it was.

"I know," I told her softly, "And you have to believe I'll do everything in my power to get him back to you."

I tried to convey as much emotion as I could into my words, to show her that what we felt for him hadn't changed. If anything, it had gotten stronger.

Our eyes connected and I knew she got the picture, but she just shook her head.

"You don't understand. I have to go. The last words I said to him…they were bad. I can't let that be it!"

"And I need to go too," said Adrian, "I screwed up. I can't let him die because of me. Besides, I'm still a spirit user. I could help!"

We were wasting time arguing. I knew they had good intentions, but every second we spent here was more time for Robert to do whatever it was he planned for Dimitri. Spirit could be a nasty element when you wanted it to be. I still had nightmares about the time Lissa gave in and bombarded Jesse Zeklos with spider hallucinations.

I knew what I needed to do. A seventeen year old me and a young Adrian would only get in my way.

"Neither of you are going. End of discussion," I snapped.

Without another word, I left them standing there, hurrying off before they could try to follow.

I found my mother first and made her aware of the updated situation. Asking for her help in procuring a vehicle, I was soon speeding away from the lodge in my shiny new Honda Civic (on loan from one of the lodge guardians who owed her a favor).

It wasn't hard to find the motel. I parked about a half mile away and made the rest of the trek there on foot. I didn't have much in the way of an element of surprise, but I hoped I could catch Robert at least somewhat off guard.

The rectangular building was a long strip of red doorways edged in white. One level, flat roofed. It reminded me of an overgrown brick. Upon initial inspection, I saw that each doorway had a corresponding window in the back of the building, but the blinds were thick and grey. I couldn't see much.

Despite my innate urge to just charge in, I hid behind some thick fenced-off foliage at the front and waited, searching for any sign as to which doorway led to Dimitri.

A few minutes later, a tall stocky man in an obnoxious Hawaiian T-Shirt banged on door 16G. I pressed a hand to my gun when I saw Robert answer. I didn't want to shoot him, but I would if it came down to it.

Robert was having a lot of trouble getting the guy to leave. He just kept waving his arms and yelling, trying to make the older man come with him. After a while of this, Robert locked up his room and agreed to follow the man to what looked like the motel's main entrance.

This was my chance. If I could just sneak in before he returned, I'd get Dimitri out of there and come back for Robert.

Circling around to the back window, I broke the pane with the butt of my stake and climbed inside.

My heart nearly stopped when I saw Dimitri. He was on his knees, hands cuffed behind his back, slumped over and rambling to himself.

The way he looked...I hadn't seen anything like it in years. Not since our search for Jill back when everyone thought I'd murdered Queen Tatiana. Worse even. He looked broken.

I raced over to him and grasped his shoulders, trying to get him to look at me, but he just kept huffing in quick bursts like he was having a panic attack.

"No, no, no, no," he kept saying, "it can't be, no, so wrong."

He kept transitioning into Russian at random intervals, seemingly unaware. I had a decent grasp of the language by this point, but even for me, it was disorienting.

I cupped his chin and gently lifted his face up to mine. His eyes were filled with unshed tears.

"Dimitri. Dimitri? Hey. Can you tell me what's wrong? Please speak to me," I whispered frantically.

My lungs were working overtime, trying to compensate for my own panic. What had Robert done to him?

His pupils suddenly zeroed in on me and he jolted back. "No! Stay away from me." His voice shook. "Run, please. You have to get away."

"I'm not leaving you," I told him, arms raised as if to soothe a wild animal. "Just tell me what happened. We'll get out of this, I promise. Just let me help you."

My words seemed to calm him down a little, but they didn't stop him from scowling at his own legs with a fierce kind of loathing.

"There's no helping me, Roza. I saw it all. The monster killed so many people. I thought I was just watching, but it was me. It was all me. I'm the monster."

He quivered as he spoke, lost in some nightmare. I was starting to have a pretty good idea which one.

"Oh, Dimitri."

I scooted closer and embraced him. This time, he stayed where he was. It was a familiar position, bringing back memories of an alleyway - Donovan's bloodied Strigoi body between us.

"It's real isn't it? I become Strigoi."

He looked up and his eyes bore into mine, wide and almost childlike, begging me to tell him he was wrong.

I wasn't prepared to deal with this. Not again. It took so long for my Dimitri to fully forgive himself for what he'd become. I didn't even know how much past Dimitri understood about what would happen. Robert must've revealed it somehow. To, what, taunt him?

All I could tell was that it had been traumatic and beyond cruel. I wanted to console him, to tell him that everything would turn out alright. But that would require opening the can of worms which was the cure, and it would take much more time than we had. Plus, how could I lie to him again? The things he now knew...they were coming for him in just a few months.

"Yes," I said, "It's real."

He sunk in on himself.

"What I did to you was unforgivable." He contemplated his own words for a second and started hyperventilating again.

I clung to him, whispering soft nothings and hoping something would break through.

This would ruin him, I thought. He wouldn't be able to bounce back from this - the knowledge of that terrible chapter in his future, but without the perspective that there was a light at the end of the tunnel. Even if he could know about restorations, he wasn't the type of person who could just deal with the fact that he was going to become a soulless killer in a few months.

It was more than a big wave in time.

The thought made me pause as my recently rediscovered totem became a glaring presence in my pocket. I pulled it out with one hand and studied the little wooden carving. Dimitri barely seemed to notice.

One small amnesia burst. My plans to use it on Alicia flew out the window. Dimitri was what mattered now. I couldn't let him suffer with this burden any longer than he had to.

But how much of it would work? Would it wipe away everything he'd discovered about time travel, or just what he learned today? The past hour? Would it include our talk earlier? Sydney told me it was a small charge that could affect a few people (at most) within maybe a five foot radius. Except, how small was small?

It didn't matter. I had to risk it. I considered bringing Dimitri outside first - escaping the danger Robert (who was sure to come back soon) posed. But I didn't think I was going to be able to get him outside like this.

Dimitri started to babble out a gruesome description of a kill from his Strigoi days - which Robert apparently knew of and could offer visions about.

I shushed him. "It's okay, my love. Everything's going to be okay. I can fix this."

I lifted up the totem and clutched it fiercely in my sweaty palms.

Concentrating very hard like Sydney told me to, I spoke the magic word she'd given me.

"Auferō."

The totem grew hot. Sparks shimmered in the space between us and then erupted outward like a firecracker. Dimitri went limp in my arms.

Worriedly, I felt for his pulse. It was steady. I relaxed. I had no idea if the totem worked, but I'd get us out of here first and-

A loud crackling noise from the window made me look up. Two figures were climbing through, navigating around the broken glass. One was significantly more angry than the other.

"What did you just do to him?" My past self demanded. Adrian stood awkwardly beside her.

I couldn't believe this. "What are the two of you doing here?"

"We hid in your trunk," said Adrian. "and followed you a few minutes after you left the car. I compelled the manager to lead Robert away. Nice work, right? I told you we could help!"

I should've known they'd figure out a way to come with me. If there was one thing that hadn't changed over the years, it was that I was very resourceful.

"And you've just been spying through the window?"

With a start, I realized this could be very, very bad. I wasn't thinking about them when I activated the totem. The magic wouldn't have worked on them. How much had they heard?

"We were watching your backs," said Past-me coldly, "Robert could be here any minute. What did you just do to Dimitri?"

She marched over to us and tried to pull Dimitri from my arms. I didn't fight her, but I still made sure he didn't fall over. He was like a rag-doll.

Like I'd just done, she checked his pulse and eased up only slightly at the confirmation that he was still alive.

"He's okay," I told her. "He just needs to sleep it off." I hoped I was right. The truth was, I was almost as clueless as they were.

"Sleep what off? The news that you forgot to mention he's going to become a Strigoi someday?" She hovered protectively over Dimitri, as if to defend him from me.

There went the idea that they'd been spared that detail. I wanted to break another window.

Instead, I clenched my teeth. "We can talk about this later."

"How about no. We can talk about it now."

Unconsciously, she raised her left fist. I caught a glimpse of something glinting in the room's dull light. A crystal hanging from a thin chain.

"What are you holding?" I asked her, alarmed. "Is that Alicia's necklace? Why do you have that?"

She didn't appreciate me ignoring her, but I guessed she liked the idea of antagonizing me even more. "I thought it would come in handy."

"You told me you didn't have it."

"Yeah, well. Maybe I was right," she said. "It's not like I was the only one keeping secrets."

"Of course I'm keeping secrets! I'm from the future. It's my job. And what was your plan anyway? Were you going to kill Robert?"

Yeah, it was a low blow. We both knew that hadn't even crossed her mind. No, instead she thought she was being clever. She didn't consider that she was playing with things she didn't understand. It was reckless and stupid.

"It was just backup! The witch lady made it seem like it would take a while to work. If we timed it right…" she stopped herself. "No, you know what? I don't need to explain myself to you."

"Um, guys?" came Adrian, glancing nervously at the door. "I hate to be the one the break up this blossoming cat fight, but we should probably get going."

I agreed completely. We'd already stayed here too long. I put aside my frustrations and was about to suggest that we work together to move Dimitri when the door knob jingled.

The tension in the room ratcheted up to an all time high.

"You two need to hide!" I hissed.

Adrian looked around. "Where?"

"Bathroom!" I pointed to a narrow entrance in the corner. With luck, it would have some shower curtains they could squat behind. "Quick!"

Adrian listened and darted over, but my past self remained obstinate.

"I'm not leaving Dimitri."

We didn't have time to argue. Robert opened the door and allowed himself a moment of surprise when he saw us leaning over Dimitri's inert form.

Then, he donned a charming mask - smile wide and friendly. It was eerie, like something I would've once expected from his brother. The reminder wasn't pleasant.

"Oh good, you're both here," he said, stepping inside.

I stood up, trusting my past self to guard Dimitri, in efforts to focus his attention on me.

"Hey, Rob. Long time, no see. Nice of you to finally step out of the shadows."

"Hmm, I suppose you wouldn't know much about the shadows anymore," he said.

As if what Adrian and Past-me knew wasn't damning enough already. I started to edge closer to him. If I could get a good hit in before he started to use his powers, he'd be done for.

"Cute. Whatever you've been doing to keep them at bay won't last," I told him, trying to keep the strain out of my voice. "Your witch left you."

His eyes widened in a flash of genuine hurt. "Alicia's gone?"

It was disturbing. Once upon a time, I remembered feeling bad for Robert. He'd seemed so innocent. Fragile. What the darkness did to him, the loss of his bondmate, the loss of his brother - it was tragic. But that was before all of the trouble he caused me and my family. Before he became a bona fide terrorist and cult leader. All of the misplaced innocence in the world couldn't make up for his crimes. He had to be brought to justice.

"Yes," I said. "Without creating your escape route. Come with me now. Back to 2023. We can end this."

It was worth a shot. Sadly, my words didn't phase him.

"No, no," he said to himself. "It doesn't matter. I don't need her anymore."

Taking his eyes off me, he regarded my past self and Dimitri with a satisfied smile. "Did you like my present? I hope you got a good look at what Dimitri Belikov's life is going to be like from now on. I doubt he'll ever be able to sleep again."

I went rigid and was almost glad Robert shifted his attention. He didn't know. He didn't know about the totem's amnesia features. His witch didn't include it in his. He wasn't aware that Dimitri's torment was temporary and I knew I had to keep it that way.

Past-me (who was thankfully unaware as well), seethed at him. "What did he ever do to you?"

No, no. Bad question!

"He allied himself with you," he said, tone full of malice. "This is all your fault."

Robert's whole body shook with built up rage.

He was going to attack her, I realized. I had to act fast.

Standing just a few feet behind him with his attention diverted, I decided I was close enough to jump him.

But my past self spotted me at just the wrong moment. Robert noticed and twisted, throwing my hit off. My reflexes were still superior to his and he took a blow to the shoulder, but it was sloppy and not nearly enough to knock him unconscious. Instead, he fell to the side with a yowl and instantly formed his fingers into claws.

There was a pressure at my throat, choking me as my body lifted into the air. Instinctually, my hands went to my neck trying to free myself, but it was no good. This was Spirit. I heard wheezing from my right and I knew the same thing was happening to my past self.

I was given a small passageway of air. Enough to rasp out a plea. "You don't need to do this."

Robert got up.

"Yes I do. You killed my brother!" he cried.

"She what?" my past self croaked.

"You killed him. Bludgeoned him to death like an animal," Robert answered before sneering at me. "And you don't even care, do you? You just went on with your life like nothing was wrong. It didn't matter who got burned in your rise to power."

My face felt stuffed up and tender. If it was guilt or lack of oxygen, it was anyone's guess.

"I know," I whispered. Of course I knew I was to blame for all of this. I killed Victor and other than my closest friends, no one knew. I hadn't even thought about Robert until he became a problem. Now, I was paying the price. But I couldn't let the rest of the world suffer for my mistakes. If my younger self died now, I wouldn't be able to do everything I needed to. Maybe it was egocentric, but I'd saved lots of lives in my time. For all I knew, Lissa might never become Queen without me.

"Good," Robert said. He bared his teeth at my younger self. "But I'll stop you. You won't hurt him ever again."

He raised one arm forward and my body slammed into the wall next to the bathroom door. I twisted to mitigate the impact, but my vision still blurred.

Trapped under his influence, I found myself stuck to the wall, forced to watch as across the room, Past-me still levitated in the air. Robert's eyes gleamed with hate.

My hand grazed against something cool and crystalline. I looked down. Alicia's necklace. It must have slid over here at some point.

My past self brought it here for a reason. I'd brushed her idea aside, but now I was desperate. I concentrated on what she'd said. The necklace took time to work. It sucked away power. If I could get it on Robert and take it off fast enough…

"Psst!"

I turned my head and found Adrian crouching low in the bathroom's entrance. He looked down at the necklace and seemed to get that I had some kind of plan.

"Do what you need to do," he said, "I can hold him."

He wanted to hold Robert back with Spirit.

"Are you sure?" I asked.

Robert was powerful, and even though Adrian was too, he was new to this. There was no guarantee he'd be able to match the older Moroi. Not that we had many other options.

He took a deep breath, determination in his narrowed eyes. "Yeah, I got this."

I gathered up the necklace.

Robert was still talking.

"The brain's such a funny, fragile thing," he was saying. "Just a little squeeze and-"

He lifted his arm higher, about to do the unspeakable, when my younger self suddenly dropped to the floor. Robert let out a squawk of surprise.

My invisible bonds fell away and I stole a quick glance at Adrian, who was focusing on Robert with a strained expression.

I raced forward as Robert turned his attentions onto the other Moroi, pinpointing the threat.

Adrian shouted and Robert dropped to his knees.

I shoved the long metal chain over his head. He collapsed, spasming.

We all watched silently.

My past self panted from the floor. "How long do we keep it on him?"

I didn't know, but we couldn't risk it for much longer. This thing sucked life forces away.

The crystal started to glow a soft blue color.

I fixed my gaze on them both.

"Get ready to run. Get Dimitri out of here."

They nodded.

With that, I wrapped my fingers around the chain again and lifted it up.

Robert's body stilled, but I still saw the soft rise and fall of his chest. He was out cold.

We acted quickly after that. I managed to pick the lock on Dimitri's handcuffs and fastened them onto Robert. Together, we brought the two unconscious men out to the car and placed them inside. Dimitri in front with me (to my past self's discontent), and Robert in the back with the others.

Now that the threat was mostly gone, my past self refused to look at me. The ride back was spent in almost complete silence, which I was pretty okay with. It was better than being asked more questions I couldn't answer.

There was one exception.

I was trying to figure out what I would do with Robert when Adrian spoke up from the back.

"No way."

Through the rearview mirror, I saw that he was peering down at Robert with a peculiar look on his face.

"What?" I asked.

"It's just...gone," he said.

Past-me sighed. "Adrian, spit it out already."

"I think the necklace worked a little too well. I just checked his aura and there's no gold. I...don't think he's a Spirit user anymore."

Well I'd be damned.


	19. Chapter 19

CHAPTER NINETEEN - ROSE

We got back late. I'd had to explain what really happened to Dimitri. There was no choice. I couldn't have them blabbing everything to him when the totem had already done its work. My past self didn't take kindly to the fact that I obliviated her mentor. Still, in the end I convinced them to keep the secret. They'd both seen what the knowledge did to him. None of us wanted to see him like that again.

Dimitri woke around the time we pulled up to the lodge. He was groggy, but I was happy to find that he remembered everything up until he and Adrian were attacked.

With everything seemingly tied up in a nice bow regarding Robert, I wished I could just take him and return to my time. Adrian and Past-me could forget all about Dimitri turning Strigoi in the second amnesia burst.

But Alicia was still at large and even though the others seemed to think Robert's powers were absorbed by the necklace, a big part of me feared that they might've been funneled directly to her. Regardless, I didn't want anyone trying it on to check. First chance I got, I'd figure out how to destroy the stupid thing.

We brought Robert to one of the lodge's empty suites. As per Alberta's orders, guards would be stationed by his side 24/7. He'd be transferred to St. Vladimir's holding cells soon enough. Close enough for me to keep an eye on him, and to bring him back home when the time was right.

Maybe a life without magic would be good for him. He wouldn't be able to hurt anyone else. And he may have become dark and corrupt, but at his core, Robert really just missed his brother. A life free of Spirit's darkness was the least I could offer him.

The morning came, and the dread I'd been burying for days just skyrocketed. If I hadn't absolutely botched up time, then this was the day my younger self left for Spokane. I didn't want to be here for this. Damn Alicia.

The day went by too fast. I ran into Adrian once. No Dimitri. Without any more Spirit using threats, Adrian and Lissa were no longer obligated to watch over the others.

He asked me if I was going to the banquet later.

"I don't think so. With everything that's been going on, I think I need to take a step back."

"Awe, but I bet Belikov's gonna be on duty. And Mini-You is so coming. We could watch them exchange more will-they-won't-they looks."

Despite my sour mood, I chuckled. "You were a lot more against us when we did this the first time around."

"Yeah well, without all the murky black in your aura, your epic love's not so hard to read. Besides Belikov's growing on me." He bit into a cigarette butt and lit it with his other hand. He spoke through his teeth, "But hey, plenty of fish in the sea. I'll find someone."

"You will." I touched his arm. "And she'll make you very happy."

The gaping-fish look he gave me was classic.

While I didn't go inside the banquet hall, I ended up watching the doorway from an isolated corner. I had to be sure things were back on track. Right on schedule, my mother practically threw my younger self outside and started ranting at her. My younger self's form-fitting silk dress was stained with champagne.

They argued for a while, catching the attention of a few nearby guests. Mom eventually got tired and headed off down the hall. Past-me muttered to herself before storming off in the direction of the rooftop deck.

A few minutes later, Dimitri left the party too. He spotted me and seemed to silently ask where she was. He looked good, if a little worried. Not at all like the broken man I'd found just last night.

It made me feel a little better when I directed him to my past self's hiding spot. We exchanged a knowing look as he realized what I'd meant when I said I'd been there before.

He went after her, and I knew that at least one thing turned out right.

I decided to go to my room and work up some kind of plan for the Alicia search, but when I entered the elevator, I ran into Mason of all people.

"Oh, hey Guardian Hathaway."

He was tapping his foot impatiently on the vinyl floor.

"Hey," I said, feeling raw. "You going to see Rose today?"

I knew the answer already. I knew exactly where he was going. But some masochistic part of me wanted to keep talking to him.

"Already been," he replied glumly, "Your niece is...she's something alright."

"Yeah, she is."

He glanced at me hesitantly. "I think I like her a lot. I know she doesn't feel the same about me. Maybe I've always known."

"And you're angry with her for that," I stated.

He bit his lip. "No. But I was. For a long time. Even when I tricked myself into thinking it could all work out. Now...now I'm just sad. She was my friend before all of this. She still is. I want her to be happy. Even if I wish it was with me."

I felt like crying. I didn't know what was showing on my face, but Mason looked concerned.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I replied.

Quiet overtook the small space.

"...About that story you were telling us with your zvezda marks. The rescue mission one. You took the fight to them. I think that was really brave. More of us should be playing our part like that."

He became more zealous as he spoke. I wanted to tell him that a rescue mission was different from seeking out trouble. That going in underprepared and undertrained could get people killed. Would get people killed.

The elevator dinged.

"Well, this is me," he said. "See ya."

"Yeah, see ya."

As the metal doors slid shut and he headed off, I whispered what I really wanted to say.

"Goodbye Mason."


	20. Chapter 20

CHAPTER TWENTY - ROSE

I had to get out of here. Seeing Mason was too much. I couldn't stand by and watch as everything unfolded just like it had last time. I'd laugh at the irony, since I'd been trying to do the exact opposite for days, but I didn't think anyone would find it funny.

I went to Alberta then and there, and I practically begged her to let me take Robert to his cell at the Academy early. I didn't explain why, but I used my time travel pull and told her it was essential.

She gave me a car and sent Yuri, Dustin, and Celeste to help me guard the prisoner. I wasn't worried. Robert was mostly quiet and I had a feeling he was still trying to access his absent powers. He wasn't having any luck.

We reached the ward line after a day's drive, and I told myself I was doing the right thing. Away from it all, I wouldn't be tempted to help Dimitri or Lissa to locate my past self once they realized she was missing. I wouldn't give in and tell them where Isaiah was keeping my friends.

I went over the same rationalizations I'd been giving myself since I came here. Mason's death had to happen. Anything else would be way to big a shockwave. I had to preserve the future. I had my life to consider. My friends lives. Dimitri, Sydney, Lissa, Anton. Hell, my friends had kids too. Declan, Andrea. What if I did something here that erased one of them?

The reasons all fell flat.

I remembered what Anton said in my dream. About getting rid of one thing to keep another. Was that what I was doing?

Funny how he seemed to think it was bad too.

But I stayed where I was and I waited. And when I saw that time strike, on the exact same date I remembered so well, I felt like a piece of me was dying all over again too.

I was meant to be a protector. A guardian. It was my whole life. I was betraying that now. I was betraying Mason, who'd been gone for years, but for just a few short days had been vibrant and alive again. He only ever cared about me, and now I failed him for the second time.

The students came back a few days later. My past self found me alone in the church. I was waiting for her.

"You could've stopped it."

She had dark circles under her eyes, skin blotchy from crying, and her wrists were bandaged over from where Christian burned her to make their escape. In a few days, she'd have new bandage - at the back of her neck where she would receive her first two molnija marks.

"Yeah, and I didn't." I said, trying very hard not to get too defensive. One Rose hating herself had to be better than two.

"And now you've made me a killer. Just like you."

"You're not a killer," I told her. "Those Strigoi had to die. You saved our friends."

She stalked forward. "Robert said you killed his brother. So I'm going to kill someone."

"It's more complicated than you think," I said.

"It always is with you." She turned almost hopeful for a moment. "Was he Strigoi?"

I sighed. I didn't know how many times I'd wished Victor had been Strigoi when I killed him. It would've made things a whole lot easier than they were.

She saw the answer in my expression and started wringing her hands.

"Mason is dead. And you knew it. You knew everything."

"I'm sorry," I said, my voice cracking. It was the most honest thing I could tell her.

She just stared at me. "You know how it happens to Dimitri too, don't you? How he becomes that…" her face scrunched up in horror and disgust. I wondered what she was thinking about. Natalie? Isaiah?

"...how he dies," she corrected herself. "Tell me! We can save him!"

"No," I said, quietly and firmly. "We can't. There are things that need to happen, or lots of people could get hurt. I can't just meddle with time because I can. That's what Robert was trying to do. Things happened in my life. Some of it was bad, but I can't undo it. We have to move forwards."

I wasn't sure if I even believed my own crap anymore, but this was the one thing I couldn't budge on, no matter how much it hurt. If Dimitri never became Strigoi, he'd never be restored. It meant Anton would never exist.

She shook her head furiously. "No. I'm not going to let you do this again."

"What are you talking about?"

"What happened to Mason won't happen to Dimitri. Not him. You think everything has to go the way you remember it, to fit into your stupid timeline. But I don't care about destiny or fate. He's not turning Strigoi. Not if I have anything to say about it."

I got right up in her face. I'd had enough.

"You think I want this? Last week I was back in my nice stable life where I didn't have to constantly question my own morals. If a Strigoi attacked my friends, I could fight them off without wondering if that action would wipe them from existence later. Now I'm in my own past, watching things that already happened, happen again. I can't afford to fix my old mistakes. I have a home to get back to."

"You don't understand," she said, eyes dark. "I don't care about your future. I'm going to stop you. Whatever it takes. That's a promise."

She left me standing there, amongst the pews and the stained glass. Some people thought churches were serene. I never bought into that, and I really didn't right now. The room was cold and drafty, but still - like the calm before a storm.

I truly believed, after all I'd been through, that I could do anything I put my mind to. That same fact was true of my seventeen year old self, my twenty year old self, and really anyone who called themselves Rose Hathaway. That was how I knew a war was coming. And I wasn't sure if I wanted to win.

**Author's Note:**

> Cross posted under the same name on Fanfiction.net


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